


the adventures of spiky twink and the burger queen  [ABANDONED/DISCONTINUED]

by Salty_Sam



Series: the spiky twink universe [1]
Category: Layton Kyouju vs Gyakuten Saiban | Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: #Blame Pigeon-Senpai, (Even Diego ikr what the hell), (spoiler alert: she has no idea), Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst, Angst and Feels, Apparently this is good my friend said so, Bad Jokes, Blackmail, Bullying, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone is in highschool or a teacher, F/F, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Godot makes up nicknames for everyone, High School, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I hurt Klavier and i wont apologize, I made some plot but it good lost excuse me while I look, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mia is a mother to all, Most couples established, Past relationships that i didnt tag:, Physical Abuse, Please Kill Me, Some Plot, Swearing, This Is STUPID, Trucy invites strangers for a sleepover, Verbal Abuse, What Was I Thinking?, a lot of swearing, but it gets better, chat fic, clay and apollo, diego and simon (keyes), everyone is out of character, fite me, groupchats, iris and feenie, lana and mia, might continue this might not we will see, news flash: local polish girl pretends she knows what american high schools are like, she made me post this, so basically:, some dark stuff from time to time but most of this is very light, this makes no sense, youve been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2020-05-02 08:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 60,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salty_Sam/pseuds/Salty_Sam
Summary: I WILL NO LONGER BE CONTINUING THIS STORY.gobo: mia i killed himboobitch: WHATgobo: i killed the spiky twinkgobo: forgive meboobitch: on a scale of 1 to 10 how dead is henicknackpattywack: 15nicknackpattywack: i thought you were blind how do you hit so accuratelyboobitch: he has a magical mask that lets him see twinksgobo: twinks and twunks im inclusive---Every fandom needs a good chat fic. And as I didn't find one for Ace Attorney, I decided to create one.Ace Attorney High School AU Chat Fic - That's a mouthful...I wrote this for myself and sent it to my friend. And she said it was good. And then she said I should post it. And finally, I have caved. So here we are...All spelling mistakes are totally intentional to symbolize kids who lack auto correct... Totally... Not like I turned off spell-check because it was annoying me with the amount of red lines on the usernames... It's all in god's plan.If all else fails... #Blame Pigeon-Senpai. It's all her fault.---This story also has a side-story with bonus shorts and chapters. You can read it here:https://archiveofourown.org/works/19441150/chapters/46270858





	1. the spiky twink

**Author's Note:**

> THIS FIC IS DISCONTINUED. PLEASE DON'T ASK FOR UPDATES. READ THE LAST CHAPTER FOR INFO.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boobitch: maya what did i say about texting in class?
> 
> gobo: she says, texting in class
> 
> boobitch: diego stfu i can see you havent finished the maths sheet yet
> 
> gobo: thats where you're wrong
> 
> gobo: i finished it
> 
> gobo: i skipped all the questions

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Monday, 8:40 AM:

 

burgerqueen: oh my god

burgerqueen: oh

burgerqueen: my

burgerqueen: god

burgerqueen: CODE RED CODE RED

nicknackpattywack: maya i can see your phone from here

nicknackpattywack: the teacher is gonna see it

burgerqueen: oh my god i dont care nick listen this is a crisis

nicknackpattywack: yeah, i can see you shaking, too

boobitch: maya what did i say about texting in class?

gobo: she says, texting in class

boobitch: diego stfu i can see you havent finished the maths sheet yet

gobo: thats where you're wrong

gobo: i finished it

gobo: i skipped all the questions

burgerqueen: OH MY GOD EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN

burgerqueen: nick

burgerqueen: NICK

nicknackpattywack: WHAT

burgerqueen: on your left, two seats down. light bue hair. really slim.

nicknackpattywack: the new girl, you mean?

burgerqueen: oh my god she's so pretty i cant

burgerqueen: nick jesus please

burgerqueen: im so gay wtf

boobitch: y'all better pay attention or im coming down

burgerqueen: miaaaaa is this how you felt with diego

boobitch: i didnt feel anything tbh

gobo: im offended

boobtich: just kidding <3333

nicknackpattywack: okay okay am i hearing right

nicknackpattywack: our little maya

nicknackpattywack: little pure burger maya

nicknackpattywack: has a crush?

burgerqueen: this aint no time for JOKES

burgerqueen:i need the DIGITS

burgerqueen: or at least a name... UGH.....

nicknackpattywack: wait isnt she edgeworth's little sister?

nicknackpattywack: transfer from germany?

nicknackpattywack: he told me something about her but idk

nicknackpattywack: aaaaand the teacher took her phone. cool.

 

Monday, 9:40 AM

 

burgerqueen: oh my god im NOT. OKAY.

nicknackpattywack: you got lucky just getting your phone back

nicknackpattywack: and now youre texting in class again

burgerqueen: well youre too

burgerqueen: hypocrite.

nicknackpattywack: damn okay chill

boobitch: last straw

boobitch: pay attenshone child

boobtich: or ill tell aunt morgan

burgerqueen: NO

burgerqueen: ANYONE BUT HER

boobitch: got her now

nicknackpattywack: woah she put that phone away so fast she almost broke it

nicknackpattywack: anywayyyyy

boobitch: you too. pay attention.

nicknackpattywack: you aint got nothin on me

boobitch: diego nick is annoying me

nicknackpattywack: ok ok never mind please delete that before he kills me

nicknackpattywack: mia

nicknackpattywack: mia im serious

nicknackpattywack: MIA

gobo: see you at lunch, trite

nicknackpattywack: shit

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Monday, 10:35 AM

 

anactualdemon: where the hell are yall

anactualdemon: five more seconds and im going by myself

kicknamestakeass: ah you see

kicknamestakeass: i got

kicknamestakeass: distracted

battleangel: he ran into juan and punched him

battleangel: were on our way dollie

rockboi: um problem

rockboi: fucking klavier is standing at the front door

nailpolishposion: ill speak with him

anactualdemon: im taking matt and alita and were leaving

kicknamestakeass: he he he

kicknamestakeass: get on my level BOTTOMS

rockboi: uh excuse me

rockboi: kristoph totally tops :]

nailpolishpoison: why am i even friends with you lot

anactualdemon: okay matt and alita are here

anactualdemon: and you two are not

nailpolishpoison: klavier was being a little bitch, as per usual

nailpolishpoison: ever since i said apollo isnt even that good looking hes been a salty thot

anactualdemon: ah

anactualdemon: while we wait

anactualdemon: did you hear the tea?

rockboi: spill

nailpolishpoison: oh, is it what i think it is?

anactualdemon: well you know miles edgeworth from our year?

rockboi: ye, obviously. mr von douchebag is his adoptive dad, right?

anactualdemon: yeah

anactualdemon: well

anactualdemon: his actual daughter just transferred from germany

anactualdemon: into his class

anactualdemon: and she snapped at freaking mr. Gant

rockboi: wait what, GANT?

anactualdemon: yeah

anactualdemon: even better

anactualdemon: he didnt do anythin

anactualdemon: like at all

anactualdemon: i was there

anactualdemon: he just took it and even considered what she said

rockboi: so? this concerns us, how?

anactualdemon: obviosuly her dad is scaring the shit out of the staff

anactualdemon: in conclusion

anactualdemon: we need her on our squad

nailpolishposion: huh. i guess we can think about it.

battleangel: ah, finally. they're coming.

kicknamestakeass: subway boiiiiiiis

 

Groupchat: this bitch empty, YEET

Members: 3

Description: vines memes and death

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

 

Monday, 1: 25 PM

 

imfine: um

imfine: okay this is random but

imfine: u guys are my best friends

imfine: and i need an honest opinion

childofmagic: awe pollyyyyy

sunshines: hell yeee tell us anything red boi

imfine: ok so

imfine: um

imfine: do you guys think

imfine: ugh

imfine: do you

imfine: do yuo tihng klavierj licez mew

childofmagic: 0.0

sunshines: um

sunshines: what

imfine: doooo youu think that

imfine: that

imfine: that

imfine: klavierrrr

imfine: likesme?

sunshines: oh

sunshines: oh

sunshines: OH SHIT

sunshines: OHHHH SHIIIT

sunshines: MOM GET THE CAMERA

childofmagic: IM CALLING DAD

childofmagic: IM TELLING HIM HE HAS TWO GAY CHILDREN

imfine: omg no

imfine: no no no

imfine: not like that

imfine: just

imfine: idk

imfine: i wanna be friends with him but hes popular... and all...

imfine: i

imfine: i dont know

sunshines: awhhhh polly

sunshines: why dont you ask him yourself?

imfine: bbbut

imfine: i cant just

imfine: with all his friends around and everything

imfine: i cant

childofmagic: just go and talk to him!

childofmagic: im right behind you!

sunshines: yeah! go get him tiger!

imfine: ugh

imfine: okay

imfine: maybe

 

Private Chat Between Athena Cykes (sunshines) and Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Monday, 1: 27 PM

 

sunshines: hey polly

sunshines: you okay?

imfine: huh? wheres this coming from?

sunshines: idk

sunshines: youve just been talking about klavier all summer

sunshines: and as soon as we get back you get all flustered and dont wanna talk to him

imfine: its nothing really. im fine.

sunshines: okay. just tell me if you need anything.

imfine: thanks thena. but im fine.

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Monday, 2:24 PM

 

gravyravy: i just saw nick running from diego?

burgerqueen: oh yeah, hes trying to kill him

burgerqueen: anyway, pearly, are you coming down for lunch?

gravyravy: yes. actually, i was wondering if my girlfriend could sit with us

burgerqueen: of course!

boobitch: i still cant believe you got a gilfriend before nick could even make friends other than us

burgequeen: i guess its just because shes so cuuute

gravyravy: OwO

gobo: mia i killed him

boobitch: WHAT

gobo: i killed the spiky twink

gobo: forgive me

boobitch: on a scale of 1 to 10 how dead is he

nicknackpattywack: 15

nicknackpattywack: i thought you were blind how do you hit so accuretly

boobitch: he has a magical mask that lets him see twinks

gobo: twinks and twunks im inclusive

gobo: anyway

gobo: were coming down to the cafeteria

nicknackpattywack: more like hes dragging me even though my nose is bleeding

gobo: a small cut over your lip doesnt count as a nosebleed

nicknackpattywack: anything is possible with the power of illusion

 

Monday, 2:31 PM

 

burgerqueen: okay everyone dont make it obvious

burgerqueen: but you know how miles normally sits by himself or with von douche?

burgerqueen: look

boobitch: hes sitting with his sister?

burgerqueen: yah.

burgerqueen: but hes like right there so thats why im texting so he doesnt hear us

burgerqueen: so now im thinking

burgerqueen: if i went to the table rn how quick would von douchebag beat my ass

gobo: i give you thirty seconds

boobitch: make that twenty. he just sat down with them

nicknackpattywack: oooooh shit tea

burgerqueen: didnt you like have a crush on miles or something like that?

burgerqueen: nick what are you doing with that fork?

burgerqueen: WHY DID YOU JUST YEET YOUR FOOD AT ME

boobitch: nice

nicknackpattywack: even if i did theres no hope

nicknackpattywack: he like never talks to anyone

nicknackpattywack: anyway while i still have your attention look behind us

nicknackpattywack: as in behind me maya and pearl

gravyravy: is that?

nicknackpattywack: YEP

nicknackpattywack: KILL ME

nicknackpattywack: WHY TF DID SHE SIT HERE OF ALL PLACES

gobo: am i missing something?

boobitch: its his ex

boobitch: iris fey, pearl's sister

boobitch: my cosuin

gobo: oh right

gobo: wait

gobo: wait wait wait

gobo: HOLUP

gobo: SHE'S YOUR EX?

gravyravy: i dont get the problem... sis is really nice. and she has someone else now.

nicknackpattywack: she has someone else???

burgerqueen: lol nick got ghosted

gravyravy: vera misham. they got together over summer. shes a really good artist

gobo: wait wait wati hold it

gobo: when did all of this happen

gobo: i feel like ive been here since spikey was born but apparently i know nothing????

gobo: what is life anymore

nicknackpattywack: look it was nothing serious

nicknackpattywack: we both agreed we weren't fit for each other last year

nicknackpattywack: and thats that

gravyravy: you left out the part where dollie slapped you for breaking up with her

nicknackpattywack: IT WAS A MUTUAL AGREEMENT!!! NO DUMPING!!! NO BREAK-UP!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHY DAHLIA HIT ME!!! IRIS WASNT EVEN SAD!!!

gobo: you mean dahlia hawthorne?

nicknackpattywack: what, you know her?

gobo: yep. and i hate her.

nicknackpattywack: oof

nicknackpattywack: whats the tea robot man

gobo: its nothing

gobo: forget it

gobo: speaking of, look whos talking to the new girl

nicknackpattywack: why is dahlia hawthorne at miles's table???

nicknackpattywack: and why is von douche not doing anything?

burgerqueen: this tea is hotter than diego's coffee

gobo: i doubt thats possible

gravyravy: oh, look

gravyravy: shes moving tables

gravyravy: i wonder why

gobo: oh my

gobo: is she seriously sitting down with _them?_

boobitch: oooh he used italic you know he mad

gravyravy: by them you mean engarde's clique?

gobo: yep. and now miles is left all alone to talk to von douche about shakespeare or some shit

boobitch: lmfao

 

Groupchat: fey? more like GAY

Members: 5

Description: the mother effin fey clan boiiiiiiis

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

 

Monday, 4: 43 PM

 

boobitch: i dont get the name of this chat

boobitch: i mean me and dollie arent gay

anactualdemon: bold of you to assume im straight

boobitch: you mean you hang around with dudes all day and you expect me to think youre gay

anactualdemon: um... what dudes?

boobitch: like, matt engarde, kristoph gavin, daryan crescend, should i keep going?

anactualdemon: you win big boobs

boobitch: what did you just call me?

anactualdemon: im sure your coffee addicted boyfriend can agree with me

boobitch: DAHLIA

irishgay: um

irishgay: sorry to bother

irishgay: but

irishgay: i saw you hanging out with feenie

irishgay: i was wondering how hes doing

anactualdemon: i hope hes dead since he hurt you

irishgay: dahlia dont say thatttt

irishgay: we both agreed on a breakup, okay?

anactualdemon: youre too nice to say something mean about him so i cant be sure

anactualdemon: and no one hurts my iris

burgerqueen: dahlia

burgerqueen: i saw you talking to the new girl

anactualdemon: what about it?

burgerqueen: dont make this weird

burgerqueen: but um

burgerqueen: could you maybe

burgerqueen: intrdouce me to her???

gravyravy: and this is why this chat is named this way

irishgay: join us, maya

gravyravy: irissss lets make a lesbians groupchat

irishgay: YES

boobitch: aaaand theyre off

anactualdemon: uh

anactualdemon: nah

anactualdemon: i wont

burgerqueen: but were a familyyyyy

burgerqueen: come on dollieeee

anactualdemon: as long as you hang out with coffee boy and spikey – not a chance

burgerqueen: whats the thing with you and diego anyway?

anactualdemon: none of your business.

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) and Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

 

Monday, 5: 27 PM

 

kicknamestakeass: dahlia?

anactualdemon: uh

anactualdemon: what?

kicknamestakeass: nothinnnng

anactualdemon: if you have evil schemes put them on the evil chat

kicknamestakeass: i actually

kicknamestakeass: dont

kicknamestakeass: have evil plans

anactualdemon: then what good are you

kicknamestakeass: fair maiden

kicknamestakeass: i offer starbucks in exchange for

kicknamestakeass: the coochie

anactualdemon: ill take the coffee

kicknamestakeass: well it was worth a try

kicknamestakeass: memes aside

kicknamestakeass: i kinda just wanted to grab a coffee with you

anactualdemon: for real?

anactualdemon: thats so corny

anactualdemon: but sure... after school tmrw?

kicknamestakeass: YIS

kicknamestakeass: THE SEDUCER IS BACK IN TOWN

anactualdemon: stfu before i change my mind

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to hell.
> 
> You're in for a ride.
> 
> #Blame Pigeon-Senpai


	2. lesbians, unite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gravyravy: a lesbian group chat for lesbians
> 
> irishgay: brough to you by pearl and iris fey
> 
> gravyravy: the LESBIAN SISTERS
> 
> childofmagic: iconic
> 
> childofmagic: but why at 3AM
> 
> gravyravy: because its the demon hour
> 
> gravyravy: and we, the lesbians, posses demon power
> 
> irishgay: or its witching hour
> 
> irishgay: and we are lesbian witches

 

Groupchat: this bitch empty, YEET

Members: 3

Description: vines memes and death

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

 

Monday, 5: 47 PM

 

imfine: okay so

imfine: issue

imfine: guys problems

imfine: APOLLO JUSTICE IS NOT FINE

sunshines: its the codename for gay panic

sunshines: whats up

imfine: well

imfine: i tried to talk to klaiver

imfine: but ended up accidentally telling him he has nice eyes

sunshines: how the fuck do you accidentally tell someone they have nice eyes

childofmagic: LMFAOOOO

childofmagic: AMAZING

childofmagic: IM DYINGGGG

imfine: THATS NOT EVEN THE WORST PART

imfine: he just winks at me

imfine: and says something seductive in german

childofmagic: THE GERMAN SEDUCER

childofmagic: THE NAZI SEX MASTER

imfine: trucy NO

childofmagic: TRUCY YES

childofmagic: IM TELLING MOM

imfine: TRUCY

sunshines: lmaooo you guys are great

imfine: okay so trucy is off to tell dad and mom

imfine: but apart from that

imfine: im kind of freaking out

sunshines: you ok?

imfine: ugh i guess

imfine: do you think hes just playing me or???

sunshines: if hes like kristoph then yes. if hes not i think hes chill.

imfine: i dunno

imfine: you know his kind

imfine: the popular kind

imfine: the dahlia hawthorne and matt engarde kind

imfine: leave you when youre no longer useful or fun kind

sunshines: yeah i get you

sunshines: if he everDARES to hurt you, I'll end him

imfine: okay okay thanks

imfine: i can always count on you

sunshines: :3

imfine: oh also

imfine: i know this is kind of our private group but do you wanna add clay and junie?

sunshines: oh sure i guess

sunshines: i guess we became closer friends now

 

_imfine added spaceboy and pinecone_

 

imfine: hi welcome to hell in which athena and trucy make fun of me for my gay antics

sunshines: thats a quote going into the description

 

_sunshines changed the description to 'in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics'._

 

spaceboy: so the usual?

pinecone: hi thena !!!

sunshines: hi junie

childofmagic: i leave for a few minutes and yall expand the cult

childofmagic: how dare you

sunshines: THE CULT? LMFAOOO THAT MADE ME LAUGH TOO HARD

sunshines: HOLUP HOLUP

 

_sunshines changed the groupchat name to 'meme necromancers cult'._

 

childofmagic: its perfect

pinecone: i love ittttt

spaceboy: apollo do you approve of this

imfine: i dont but theres no arguing with those two

spaceboy: well this is off to a great start

 

Groupchat: space family

Members: 4

Description: just our space family no memes here move along <333

 

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Aura Blackquill (glados)

*Metis Cykes (mamametis)

 

Monday, 8:34 PM

 

sunshines: so

sunshines: i know its late so sorry

sunshines: but we didnt really talk at school today soooo

sunshines: how was your first day

simonsays: alright, i suppose

sunshines: thats good to hear

sunshines: hm

sunshines: is it just me or there is some awkward tension in the air?

simonsays: i guess its just because we havent talked in a while

sunshines: aura?

glados: i dont mind

glados: i just dont get why one of the seniors threw coffee at me

sunshines: ah, that must be diego armando

sunshines: yeah, fresh blood has it tough in here

mamametis: the students were so sweet to me!

mamametis: and juniper, that girl you sit next to in my class

mamametis: you dont need no psychology degree to see that chemistry

sunshines: MOOOOOM

mamametis: i could hear you sigh from my room

mamametis: is this mom power

sunshines: kinda funny that all of you got moved to my school the same year

simonsays: i guess fate's a funny thing

sunshines: you dont say...

simonsays: something wrong?

sunshines: PC

glados: i am intrigued

glados: im expecting screenshots, simon

 

Private Chat Between Athena Cykes (sunshines) and Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Monday, 8:36 PM

 

simonsays: whats wrong?

sunshines: not wrong... but ugh...

sunshines: metis is right

simonsays: about?

sunshines: junpier

simonsays: you like her?

sunshines: yeah... but she has a crush on apollo... i havent got a chance...

simonsays: i wouldnt say that. youre not THAT ugly, so your chances are high.

sunshines: petty compliments to cheer me up? classic simon.

simonsays: but if you need anything, talk to me, alright?

sunshines: yeah...

sunshines: lets change topic

sunshines: youre in senior year. so youve gotta deal with romeo and juliet?

simonsays: ah yes. mia and diego.

sunshines: theyre so cliche it makes me siiiiick

sunshines: how can you deal with them simon cowell?

simonsays: i dont mind them

simonsays: i dont see the problem

simonsays: also, i told you to stop calling me that

sunshines: youre both called simon and are grumpy, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

sunshines: but for real, i thought they were the bonnie and clyde type

simonsays: if you mean two troublemakers in love, then yes

simonsays: as aura said, he threw coffee at her

simonsays: and mia fey spent about ten minutes telling everyone why shrek 2 is the perfect sequel

simonsays: im not sure what kind of drugs both of them are on, but i would like some

sunshines: lol

simonsays: and your class?

sunshines: damn, where do i start?

sunshines: first off, sophmore year sucks

sunshines: everyone is trying to be too cool and impress you

sunshines: like this kid, klavier gavin, brings a guitar just to play it at break and get girls

sunshines: and another one, daryan cresend. he's a part of matt engarde's little crew

sunshines: same breed as klavier, but worse and always shouting

sunshines: at least i have junie, apollo and clay to keep me company

simonsays: you dont sound like youre having fun

sunshines: its school

sunshines: kind of hard to have fun

sunshines: i just wish trucy was in our class too, but shes a freshman

simonsays: huh

sunshines: have you made any friends you loner?

sunshines: or did you just hang around with taka all day?

simonsays: theres a guy

sunshines: ooh tea

simonsays: we were partners in history

simonsays: i kind of got to know him

simonsays: thats all

sunshines: hm sure

sunshines: is he cute

simonsays: athena !!!

sunshines: WHAT

simonsays: ugh... i guess he kinda is

simonsays: i dont know

simonsays: im not gay

sunshines: HA

sunshines: HAHAHHAHAHA

sunshines: oh thats funny

simonsays: i hate you

sunshines: come onnn

sunshines: gimme a name cowell

simonsays: ugh, fine i guess

simonsays: bobby. bobby fulbright.

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 5

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

Tuesday, 3:03 AM

 

gravyravy: it is done

childofmagic: now what the heck is this?

gravyravy: a lesbian group chat for lesbians

irishgay: brough to you by pearl and iris fey

gravyravy: the LESBIAN SISTERS

childofmagic: iconic

childofmagic: but why at 3AM

gravyravy: because its the demon hour

gravyravy: and we, the lesbians, posses demon power

irishgay: or its witching hour

irishgay: and we are lesbian witches

gravyravy: that is true

burgerqueen: WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU DOING UP AT 3AM AND WHY IS THIS A THING

irishgay: she says, up at 3AM

irishgay: oh shoot morgan is coming gotta blast

irishgay: (kimpossibletheme.mp3)

gravyravy: maya

gravyravy: i believe you have read the description

burgerqueen: yeh and i dont get it???

burgerqueen: im fine withouth a gilfriend thank you

gravyravy: yeah suuuure

gravyravy: look at me and trucy

gravyravy: look at iris and vera

gravyravy: dont you want to be this way?

burgerqueen: im going to BED

burgerqueen: GOODNIGHT

childofmagic: weak

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Athena Cykes (sunshines)

 

Tuesday, 3:34 AM

 

sunshines: okay so its late

sunshines: and you probably wont reply

sunshines: but i cant sleep

sunshines: i need to know

imfine: what is it?

sunshines: WOAH youre awake

sunshines: that was quick

sunshines: so. how do you ACCIDENTALLY tell someone they have nice eyes??????

imfine: oh my god ATHENA

sunshines: come onnn tell me

imfine: fine fine

sunshines: yay

imfine: so i was on my way to class somewhere after the small break

imfine: and you know how theres these large heavy doors by the PE hall?

sunnshines: yeah?

imfine: well he held those open for me

sunshines: how romantic

imfine: and

imfine: i kind of froze up

sunshines: why????

imfine: I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY

sunshines: oh my god

imfine: but hes all slick and all

imfine: so he didnt make it weird

imfine: he just looks at me and goes

imfine: “all gut, herr forehead?”

sunshines: HERR FOREHEAD

sunshines: LMFAO IM DYINNNNG

imfine: i havent even gotten to that part yet

imfine: so were standing there, hes holding the door, by this point everyone pushed pass us

imfine: and instead of walking away, he kind of leans on the door and starts a conversation

imfine: LIKE THE SLICK SLIMY BALL HE IS

sunshines: oh my lord i love him

sunshines: so, how did the nice eyes thing start?

imfine: so he asks my name, the formlities all that

imfine: and im not sure what to say

imfine: so i just kind of

imfine: mumbled

imfine: 'y-your eyes are nice'

sunshines: APOLLO

sunshines: THAT IS NOT HOW YOU FLIRT

imfine: I WASNT TRYING TO

sunshines: oh my god

sunshines: apollo

sunshines: what did he do?

imfine: he just

imfine: laughed

imfine: said something in german

imfine: AND LEFT

sunshines: amazing

imfine: it wasnt for ME

sunshines: okay real talk

sunshines: why are you up so late?

sunshines: i mean im looking at vines i dunno how about you

imfine: honestly?

imfine: im thinking about that

sunshines: klavier?

imfine: yeeeahhhh

imfine: i just

imfine: the way he laughed, even

imfine: i dont know i should probably sleep

imfine: sorry

sunshines: dont be

sunshines: but also

sunshines: dont take the klavier thing seriously

imfine: why not???

sunshines: look, i dont want to be the asshole

sunshines: but klavier is the popular kind

sunshines: nothing he says really means much

sunshines: he just did that because thats what they do for fun

sunshines: give outcasts like us hope

imfine: i guess youre right

imfine: ill get some sleep

imfine: goodnight thena

sunshines: night polly

sunshines: take care of yourself

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Tuesday, 7:50 AM:

 

nicknackpattywack: maya where are u were supposed to go to english together

burgerqueen: hush nick

burgerqueen: i did some stalking

burgerqueen: i know the new girl's name now

nicknackpattywack: wooo

nicknackpattywack: so?

burgerqueen: her name is franziska von karma

gobo: von douchebag***

burgerqueen: dont attack my wife this way

gobo: your wife? you crazy lesbians already married?

burgerqueen: yes she just doesnt know it yet

gobo: mia wont be happy to hear of this

boobtich: i am not happy to hear of this

burgerqueen: come on sis you let nick have a girlfriend last year

boobitch: yeah because i dont really care about him

nicknackpattywack: OI

burgerqueen: and you let freaking little pearly have a girlfriend!

boobitch: pearly is my COUSIN

boobitch: youre my SISTER

boobitch: if iris and dahlia let her, i dont have any right to say otherwise

burgerqueen: BUT

boobitch: no buts, maya

boobitch: im not happy to hear this

boobitch: hear that maya, of my own blood, is too much of a pussy to ask a girl out

nicknackpattywack: ...

gobo: ...

gravyravy: ...

burgerqueen: WHAT

boobitch: youre just sitting around, watching her from the back of the class

boobitch: that is not the way of a fey

boobitch: every single one of us has a partner, apart from you

boobitch: SO GO. AND GET SOME ACTION. YOU WALNUT.

nicknackpattywack: HAHHAHAHA OMLLL

gobo: nice

gravyravy: YES TELL HER

burgerqueen: MIA

boobitch: all fey women are beautiful and charismatic

boobitch: we are the perfect men/women magnet

boobitch: SO USE. YOUR SKILLS.

burgerqueen: MIA

gobo: theres no fighting her

gobo: as her sister you should know that, maya

burgerqueen: WELL I AINT A LITTLE BITCH LIKE YOU SO IM NOT GONNA BE BOSSED AROUND BY HER

nicknackpattywack: oh snap

nicknackpattywack: you gonna DIE

gobo: nah

gobo: if i do anything to maya mia will make sure to kill me

gobo: and i mean kill me so hard i cant even be channeled

boobitch: i would present you with a fate worse than death

gobo: or that

boobitch: i have to finish my shrek 2 essay

boobitch: but let it be known that if you dont talk to that girl right now

boobitch: i am coming

gobo: you better listen to her

gobo: if shes willing to stop talking about shrek 2 its serious

nicknackpattywack: im coming to our homeroom

nicknackpattywack: and im gonna ensure maya gets some action

burgerqueen: I HATE ALL OF YOU

burgerqueen: oh my god

burgerqueen: oh my god oh my god

nicknackpattywack: what now?

burgerqueen: so i was kind of maybe staring at her

burgerqueen: and she looked at me and we met eyes

burgerqueen: and then she asked me for the science notes from yesterday

nicknackpattywack: SKSKSKSksksks

nicknackpattywack: what did you do?

burgerqueen: well i gave her the notes

burgerqueen: she is so much like von douchebag

burgerqueen: all angry and cold

burgerqueen: but she thanked me and intrdouced herself

burgerqueen: so i introduced myself too

burgerqueen: and yeah

nicknackpattywack: maya

nicknackpattywack:: why are you standing outside our room with your face red and nose bleeding?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lesbians have arrived. Hide your daughters.


	3. avengers, assemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sunshines: this class is sooo boring
> 
> sunshines: anyone got anything?
> 
> spaceboy: (hitormiss.mp4)
> 
> sunshines: on second thought, nevermind

Private Chat Between Franziska Von Karma (Franziska) and Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

 

Tuesday, 8:10 AM:

 

Franziska: Where are you?

Miles: Sorry, I'll be late.

Miles: Do you still need the Science notes?

Franziska: No.

Franziska: I got them off someone from our class.

Miles: Oh?

Miles: And who would that be?

Franziska: Maya Fey.

Franziska: The one I told you about.

Miles: Mia Fey's sister?

Franziska: Yes, I think.

Miles: And what's with those new friends you made?

Franziska: They aren't my friends.

Franziska: Dahlia just wanted me to have someone to sit with on the first day.

Franziska: But I don't want to talk with her anymore. I'd rather sit with you and papa.

Miles: Something wrong?

Franziska: No.

Franziska: I just don't want distractions.

Franziska: I'll be fine with just you.

Miles: Alright.

Miles: I'll see you in class.

Franziska: See you soon.

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Tuesday, 8:50 AM

 

imfine: oh my god

imfine: please help me

spaceboy: ahahhahahahahah

imfine: clay stop LAUGHING

imfine: THIS ISNT FUNNY

pinecone: apollo, are you alright?

imfine: NO

sunshines: ...

childofmagic: whats going on?

childofmagic: can yall fill me in???

childofmagic: maths is so boring right now

imfine: ARRRRGHHHHH

spaceboy: we needed partners for a thing in geography

spaceboy: and guess who got put in a pair with our polly?

childofmagic: oh my god

childofmagic: OH MY GOD NO

spaceboy: yep

spaceboy: KLAVIER GAVIN

childofmagic: AHAHAHAHHAHA

childofmagic: I NEED PICS

childofmagic: PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

pinecone: (apolloisgay.jpg)

childofmagic: oh my god

childofmagic: why are you sitting at the edge like that

imfine: BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO GET CLOSE TO HIM

sunshines: ...

sunshines: apollo, remember what i said?

imfine: yeah

imfine: yeah i do

pinecone: oooh tea

sunshines: its nothing

spaceboy: are we not going to talk about the fact that i have to work with daryan cresend?

childofmagic: oof

childofmagic: i dont know how about you but in metis's class we can pick our partners

spaceboy: yeah, but metis isnt mr. means

sunshines: when did we agree to call my mom by her first name?

 

Private Chat Between Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic) And Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Tuesday, 8:53 AM

 

childofmagic: what was athena talking about?

imfine: its kind of private

childofmagic: hey

childofmagic: im your sister, yes?

imfine: i guess... yeah

imfine: okay, ill tell you, just keep it low-key, okay?

childofmagic: im a magician, polly

childofmagic: keeping secrets is kind of part of the brand

imfine: alright

imfine: basically, after the whole klavier thing yesterday, she texted me

imfine: she said i shouldnt take him seriously since hes the popular type

imfine: but hes being really nice to me, and im not sure what to do

childofmagic: okay

childofmagic: i am your sister so ill give you a tip

childofmagic: ignore her

imfine: but shes my closest friend

childofmagic: doesnt matter

childofmagic: look, if you like him, talk to him

childofmagic: but if theres even a single, teeny-tiny red flag, you come to us

imfine: alright

imfine: ill do that

imfine: thanks

imfine: so i guess i can tell you... he gave me his number

childofmagic: oh hell yeah!

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 5

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

Tuesday, 9:15 AM

 

gravyravy: alright

gravyravy: everyone, look at this

gravyravy: (mayaandfranziskatalking.mp4)

burgerqueen: WHY DID YOU RECORD US

tumblrartist: hmm...

tumblrartist: (sketchofmayaandfranzy.jpg)

gravyravy: I LOVE IT SO MUCH

burgerqueen: i feel objectified

gravyravy: honestly vera why are you so talented

gravyravy: iris you got lucky

irishgay: i know i did <3

tumblrartist: <3

gravyravy: so maya, maybe you can tell us the story?

burgerqueen: ugh

burgerqueen: we were just talking about our previous class, walking to the next one

burgerqueen: and then we started talking about other things

burgerqueen: and thats all

gravyravy: did you get the digits though?

burgerqueen: ...

burgerqueen: yeeees....

irishgay: SHE GOT THE DIGITS

gravyravy: WOOOOOO

tumblrartist: :D

childofmagic: HELLS YES

burgerqueen: its just for class related things...

burgerqueen: we know von douchebag wont let her just text someone for fun

burgerqueen: but yeah... i got her number...

gravyravy: well add her to this chat!

burgerqueen: NO

burgerqueen: shell think im a weirdo

burgerqueen: at least give me a chance with her

irishgay: so she DOES want to get with her

burgerqueen: i mean a chance to be friends!

burgerqueen: all of you are so annoying

tumblrartist: iris, i think we should all sit together at lunch and invite franziska over

burgerqueen: NO

burgerqueen: NO WE DONT

irishgay: good idea!

irishgay: you better come join us maya >:(

burgerqueen: ughhhh fineeeee

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Tuesday, 10:10 AM

 

nailpolishpoison: god, i hate my brother

battleangel: what is it this time, professor poison?

nailpolishpoison: dont call me that

nailpolishpoison: he invited some kid for coffee, even though i told him to be home early so we can take care of house before our father gets here

nailpolishpoison: no bother though, if his room is a mess its him who gets in trouble

rockboi: i thought you were your dad's favourite?

rockboi: just blame it all on klavier and youll be fine

nailpolishpoison: yeah, ill do that

nailpolishpoison: where are matt and dahlia?

battleangel: making out in the bathroom, probably

anactualdemon: ew, with him?

kicknamestakeass: hey!

anactualdemon: ive got bad news

battleangel: what is it?

anactualdemon: even though we managed to get franziska come over yesterday

anactualdemon: she didnt give any of us her number

anactualdemon: and now, she is getting buddy-buddy with ms. i see dead people

kicknamestakeass: oof

kicknamestakeass: so, what do we do?

anactualdemon: get closer to maya, and snatch franzy away, of course

kicknamestakeass: but as long as coffee boy and her sister are around her, we cant get close

anactualdemon: not exaclty

battleangel: oh?

anactualdemon: shes my cousin, remember?

anactualdemon: ill figure something out

anactualdemon: or, i can get to her through spikey

nailpolishpoison: i like the way you think

anactualdemon: my twin is his ex, after all

anactualdemon: its obvious he still is all bothered about the break up

anactualdemon: he can have someone who LOOKS the same, but PRETENDS to care about him

rockboi: and then, when we have phoenix...

anactualdemon: i do a little 'i want to be closer friends with my cousin, can you help me pwese?'

anactualdemon: and leave him in the dust when were done with maya

kicknamestakeass: now if yall are done scheming

kicknamestakeass: i have something. some tea, as people would say

anactualdemon: well, spill then

kicknamestakeass: apparently phoenix wright has a thing for miles edgeworth. if dahlia's plan fails, we always have good old blackmail

nailpolishpoison: and this, is why were friends

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Tuesday, 12:40 AM

 

nicknackpattywack: so maya and pearly abandoned us for their lesbian clique

nicknackpattywack: i still cant believe they managed to convince von douchebag to let his daughter sit with them

boobitch: our little maya has left the nest

boobitch: your turn, phoenix

nicknackpattywack: what????

gobo: were gonna find you a boyfriend, spikey

nicknackpattywack: boyfriend??? im not gay!

gobo: yeah i know

gobo: youre bi

nicknackpattywack: noooooooooooooooooo

boobitch: alright, mr von douchebag likes me

boobitch: ill go over and see if i can have edgeworth work with you on that history project

nicknackpattywack: what? NO

boobitch: oh sorry, was it english?

nicknackpattywack: no thats not what i MEANT

nicknackpattywack: i dont care about edgeworth

nicknackpattywack: there

gobo: thats funny

gobo: werent you best friends last year?

nicknackpattywack: no, we just talked a bit

nicknackpattywack: but we didnt speak at all over the summer

nicknackpattywack: and now we just agreed to forget each other

gobo: agreed?

nicknackpattywack: well....

nicknackpattywack: its like an unspoken thing

gobo: mmhmmm theyre gay

boobitch: yep

nicknackpattywack: oh come on

nicknackpattywack: im offended

boobitch: when are you not?

boobitch: ill make sure you and miles work together

boobitch: and you better wife that

nicknackpattywack: im done

gobo: heyyyy dont walk away

gobo: come onnnn

boobitch: hahaha weak

nicknackpattywack: im eating lunch in the bathroom

nicknackpattywack: goodnight

boobitch: edgy thot

 

Private Chat Between Pearl Fey (gravyravy) And Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

 

Tuesday, 12:55 AM

 

gravyravy: babe, i have a plan

childofmagic: what is it?

gravyravy: so you know how i hang around with my group and you go with yours?

gravyravy: i go with nick, maya, mia and diego, while you go with apollo, athena, clay and junie?

childofmagic: yeeeeeah?

gravyravy: i call this operation: avengers, assemble!

childofmagic: like the movie?

gravyravy: like the comics!

gravyravy: we shall introduce everyone to each other and unite into the ultimate friend group!

gravyravy: and then we could also have iris and vera join!

gravyravy: and franzy! and miles, if we get him to join

childofmagic: genius as always <3

gravyravy: <3

childofmagic: ill make a group chat

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 2

Description: let us unite !!!

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

 

Tuesday, 12:57 AM

 

gravyravy: here we freaking go

childofmagic: lets get to work babe

gravyravy: see you on the other side

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Tuesday, 1:22 PM

 

sunshines: this class is sooo boring

sunshines: anyone got anything?

spaceboy: (hitormiss.mp4)

sunshines: on second thought, nevermind

pinecone: today has been a slow day

pinecone: if you want, you can call come over to my grandma's after school

sunshines: actually, id love that

sunshines: with mom bringing all of her science things home and all

pinecone: yay! we can do homework together and watch a movie!

spaceboy: sign me up

childofmagic: me too. can i bring pearly?

pinecone: of course! about time i meet her properly...

imfine: after school ive got something, sorry

imfine: but i might come when im done. two or three hours late.

pinecone: thats fine, as long as you come over

pinecone: it wouldnt be the same without you :)

sunshines: wow. subtle, junie.

sunshines: so what are you doing, anyway polly?

imfine: meeting up with a friend

sunshines: wow? you've got other friends than us? im impressed.

imfine: very funny, athena

imfine: hes just an old friend, from way back

imfine: i really wanted to see him

sunshines: where you meeting?

imfine: the cafe by the school

imfine: why are you so interested, sherlock holmes?

sunshines: what can i say? i live and breathe drama ;)

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 2

Description: let us unite !!!

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

 

Tuesday, 1:23 PM

 

childofmagic: junie invited me and my squad for a movie at her granny's

childofmagic: and i asked them if you could come

childofmagic: and you can >:)

gravyravy: could it be? the first phase of our master plan?

childofmagic: it would seem like it

childofmagic: well, partner? are you coming to the movie?

gravyravy: why of course :)

 

Private Chat Between Klavier Gavin (pianoman) And Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Tuesday, 3:25 PM

 

pianoman: are you coming, herr forehead?

imfine: yeah, im on my way

pianoman: thanks for agreeing, by the way

imfine: its nothing

imfine: i mean, we have to plan that geography thing, right?

pianoman: right, of course

pianoman: but isnt it also fun to spend a bit of time together?

imfine: um

imfine: spend time???

imfine: together????

pianoman: like friends? comrades?

pianoman: or are you not up for that?

imfine: oh! no! im totally cool with that!

imfine: just...

imfine: yeah. great. we can just hang out.

pianoman: großartig!

imfine: uh...

imfine: i wanted to ask about that

pianoman: about what, herr forehead?

imfine: the whole german thing

pianoman: isnt it obvious?

pianoman: im german. simple.

pianoman: direkt aus berlin ;)

imfine: haha. whatever you say klavier.

imfine: another question... why did you talk to me yesterday?

pianoman: whats that supposed to mean?

imfine: i dont know

imfine: youre popular and all

imfine: im just a kid

pianoman: hahaha

pianoman: youre cute, herr forehead

imfine: whats that supposed to mean?

pianoman: overthinking things

pianoman: just relax

pianoman: i think youre pretty funny, and you seem nice

pianoman: thats why

pianoman: now get your butt over here and lets get that coffee

imfine: no objections from me :I

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Franmaya has begun... Get yourself ready.


	4. everyone is gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward: i think we should leave maya to enjoy herself
> 
> childofmagic: 'enjoy herself' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> burgerqueen: TRUCY!

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Tuesday, 3:30 PM

 

imfine: are all of you over at juniper's?

childofmagic: yeppers

childofmagic: are you with the 'friend'?

imfine: hes getting his coffee, so im waiting

imfine: anyway, tea

imfine: dahlia hawthorne and matt engarde are here without their clique

imfine: just the two of them.

childofmagic: theyre dating. whats new?

imfine: i dont think they are

imfine: anyway, theyre just sitting there, talking

imfine: for once they dont seem to be scheming, which is rare

imfine: (totallynotastalkerypicture.jpg)

sunshines: why did you take a picture you STALKER

pinecone: oh my... i dont think ive ever seen dahlia hawthorne smile so much....

spaceboy: i knew they were dating

spaceboy: I KNEW IT

sunshines: when otp gets together *-*

sunshines: (edit.jpg)

imfine: why did you put hearts around them

imfine: i mean, shes just another one of his girlfriends

imfine: didnt he have like twelve last year? one for each month?

sunshines: thriteen*** he had two in september

imfine: right

spaceboy: but i thought him and dahlia were like best friends?

spaceboy: would he really pass her up as another girl?

imfine: we thought celeste inpax and adrian andrews were his friends

imfine: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

spaceboy: what happened to them, anyway?

imfine: they got over it, and they found new friends

imfine: managed to repair their reputation from being a part of their popular group

imfine: and im pretty sure theyre together

childofmagic: wait wait wait

childofmagic: theyre lesbians?

spaceboy: you say that as if most of the school wasnt gay

imfine: you say that as if YOU werent gay

spaceboy: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

spaceboy: anyway, whats the big deal trucy?

childofmagic: NOTHING

childofmagic: NOTHING AT ALL

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 5

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

Tuesday, 3:35 PM

 

childofmagic: FRIENDS

childofmagic: COMRADES

childofmagic: MY FELLOW LESBIANS/AMERICANS

gravyravy: what is it? why did you just run to the bathroom with your phone?

childofmagic: shhhh

childofmagic: dont let anyone see

gravyravy: im hiding my phone behind a pillow but athena is getting curious so what is it?

childofmagic: (screenshot.jpg)

childofmagic: celsete and adrian. new recruits for the lesbian cult.

gravyravy: ah!

irishgay: perfect

tumblrartist: but how do we get their numbers?

irishgay: dont worry babe, i got this

irishgay: theyre in our year, remember?

irishgay: junior year has a groupchat with everyone

irishgay: we can get their numbers from there!

tumblrartist: ah! genius as always <3

irishgay: <3

burgerqueen: all of you are crazy

burgerqueen: crazy i tell you

gravyravy: this is all so you can get some

gravyravy: i dont see the problem

burgerqueen: end mii

gravyravy: alright iris, do your thing

 

_irishgay added motorcyclebabe and awkward_

 

irishgay: welcome, fellow lesbians

motorcyclebabe: what is this and why do i love it so much?

irishgay: hi celeste. its iris.

irishgay: and this is the lesbian group chat

irishgay: i thought you and adrian could help us

motorcyclebabe: well if this isnt the best thing that has ever happened to me

motorcyclebabe: right after stealing matt's ride

irishgay: nice

irishgay: rough break-up?

awkward: it was, for both of us

awkward: but now we have each other <3

motorcyclebabe: matt's an asshole

motorcyclebabe: men suck

irishgay: well, you have all the men-hate and woman-love needed to stay here

irishgay: welcome

irishgay: now, what we need you to help us with is maya

motorcyclebabe: maya fey?

burgerqueen: that would be me

motorcyclebabe: whats going on?

gravyravy: maya needs a gilfriend

gravyravy: and she is aiming for franziska von karma

burgeruqeen: more like, they are throwing me at her and i cant fight back

gravyravy: she has her number, now we need to get them their first date

gravyravy: any ideas?

motorcyclebabe: hm

motorcyclebabe: well, me and adrian bonded over our hate for engarde

motorcyclebabe: is there anyone you can hate together?

burgerqueen: i dunno, von douchebag?

tumblrarist: maya is playing along...

tumblrarist: i think we finally got her to cooperate!

burgerqueen: shush

irishgay: well, he is her dad

irishgay: but, i hate my mother with a passion. and she is kind of like mr. von karma.

irishgay: so maybe try to throw him into a conversation?

burgerqueen: fine...

burgerqueen: ill try

gravyravy: the lesbians are supporting you, maya

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 2

Description: let us unite !!!

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

 

Tuesday, 3:38 PM

 

gravyravy: i took notes, and now i am sure

gravyravy: i think athena can be the first to step into here

childofmagic: do we trust her with our plan?

gravyravy: why of course

gravyravy: shes charismatic, she could easily connect the two

gravyravy: but it would be nice to also have someone social and confident from MY group...

childofmagic: well, diego armando, obviously

childofmagic: also, put our mission in the description so we dont have explain every time

gravyravy: alright

 

_gravyravy changed the description to ''our mission – unite all the friend groups!'._

 

_gravyravy added sunshines and gobo._

 

gobo: just what i needed on a date – my phone going off with a marvel reference

sunshines: trucy! get back here and watch the movie! youre missing so much!

gobo: and who are you then?

sunshines: and who are YOU, may i ask?

gravyravy: welcome!

gravyravy: please read the description :)

gobo: oh

gobo: oh i like this

sunshines: nice nice

sunshines: still no idea who this guy is

gobo: diego armando ring a bell?

sunshines: oh

sunshines: OH

sunshines: are you THAT diego armando? from senior year?

gobo: the one and only

gobo: the ungodly cool guy with a mask is what they call me

sunshines: woooow

sunshines: youre like

sunshines: the most popular person in the school

gobo: nahhhh

gobo: well, maybe

gravyravy: alright, alright

gravyravy: listen up friends

gravyravy: our plan is simple

gravyravy: we need to introduce everyone to everyone

gravyravy: i say nick and apollo have to meet first

sunshines: nick is that phoenix guy, right?

gobo: give me apollo's number and leave it to me.

gobo: i have a plan.

 

Private Chat Between Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic) And Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Tuesday, 4:23 PM

 

imfine: ummmm

imfine: trucy, i gotta confess

childofmagic: spill

imfine: so you know how i said i was meeting with an old friend?

imfine: well i kind of lied

childofmagic: yeah, it did kind of sound shady

childofmagic: so, what is it?

childofmagic: what were you doing at that cafe?

childofmagic: dont tell me you just went there to stalk dahlia and engarde?

imfine: no...

imfine: look, ill just cut straight to the point

imfine: klavier and me talked after being partners in geography, and he invited me for a coffee

imfine: he probably thought it was just a little friend thing but i freaked out

imfine: so i didnt even think about it at all and just went like an idiot

childofmagic: hm

childofmagic: what do you mean like an idiot?

imfine: well it was just so out of nowhere i should have said, no, some other time

imfine: but i just agreed, not even thinking about the piles of homework or how mom wanted help with cleaning or how junie could have invited us over like she always does on bad days

childofmagic: polly

childofmagic: relax

imfine: and again, im doing exaclty what athena warned me not to do

imfine: im probably walking right into a trap but im just such an idiot

childofmagic: APOLLO JOVE JUSTICE

childofmagic: YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME, RIGHT NOW

imfine: jesus! okay okay!

childofmagic: answer me this: did you have fun?

imfine: but

childofmagic: APOLLO.

childofmagic: DID. YOU. HAVE. FUN.

imfine: ...yes

childofmagic: alright. was he nice to you?

imfine: i guess so... yeah he was...

childofmagic: so, it wasnt bad

childofmagic: now, was mom mad when you told her you wouldnt get home to help?

imfine: i told her i was going somewhere with a friend and then going to juniper... she said it was ok

childofmagic: and how much homework do you have?

imfine: almost... none...

childofmagic: so what are you worrying about you wet blanket?

imfine: i guess... athena?

childofmagic: ?

imfine: i feel like im ignoring her

imfine: even though shes trying to help me

imfine: and shes my friend, you know?

childofmagic: just dont worry about her for now. ill talk with her if things go south.

imfine: alright... thanks.

childofmagic: are you coming to junie's now?

imfine: yeah, im on my way

 

Private Chat Between Franziska Von Karma (Franziska) And Maya Fey (burgeruqeen)

 

Tuesday, 4:33 PM

 

burgerqueen: hi

Franziska: Oh. Maya. Is there something you need?

burgerqueen: no

burgerqueen: i just thought we could talk, thats all

Franziska: Alright... Talk about what?

burgerqueen: i dunno

burgerqueen: uh

burgerqueen: edgeworth, hes your brother, right?

Franziska: Yes

Franziska: Adopted, but yes.

burgerqueen: oh...

burgerqueen: whats the story?

burgerqueen: if you dont mind me asking

Franziska: Not at all...

Franziska: I mean, I don't see how it's beneficial to you, but sure.

Franziska: My father adopted Miles a long time ago, when we still lived in America.

Franziska: A year after that, we moved to Germany.

Franziska: My father and him moved here for his high-school education and I stayed in Germany with my mother.

Franziska: And just this summer, I moved here.

burgerqueen: huh

burgerqueen: why did you stay in germany?

Franziska: I went to a prestigious school there, but Miles didn't get in.

Franziska: My father wanted to get him into a better school and also got a good job proposition over here, but he didn't want to waste my opportunity at that school.

Franziska: So I stayed in Germany with my mother.

burgerqueen: oh... so why did you come here?

Franziska: ...

Franziska: Look, Maya, I don't see the benefits of this conversation.

burgerqueen: i mean

burgerqueen: its for friendship??? you know, bonding??? to be friends???

Franziska: Friends?

Franziska: Maya, I had fun with your group of friends today at lunch really.

Franziska: But friendship isn't... For me.

burgerqueen: what do you mean?

burgerqueen: having friends is like air

burgerqueen: you need it to live!

Franziska: You think so?

burgerqueen: yeah!

burgerqueen: here – how about this

burgerqueen: give me a chance to prove to you that i can be the best friend you need

burgerqueen: and come over to my place after school tomorrow. we can hang out or something.

Franziska: As much as I'd love too... I don't think my father will allow me.

burgerqueen: but what if... what if you tell him were going to study or something?

Franziska: Lie... To my father?

burgerqueen: what? all teenage girls like us do that!

Franziska: Alright... I guess... I'll see you tomorrow after school then.

burgerqueen: alright! i cant wait!

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 7

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Adrian Andrews (awkward)

*Celsete Inpax (motorcyclebabe)

 

Tuesday, 4:36 PM

 

burgerqueen: ladies

burgerqueen: (screenshot.jpg)

burgerqueen: guess who just got a date

gravyravy: woooo

childofmagic: NICE

irishgay: thats how its done in the fey clan

tumblrartist: <3

awkward: still a better love story that twilight

motorcyclebabe: any love story is better than that, lets be honest here

motorcyclebabe: but still, well done

childofmagic: she sounds even more formal in text than she did today at lunch

motorcyclebabe: i mean, von douchebag raised her

motorcyclebabe: should we act surprised?

burgerqueen: its kind of cute...

awkward: i think we should leave maya to enjoy herself

childofmagic: 'enjoy herself' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

burgerqueen: TRUCY!

 

Private Chat Between Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack) And Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

 

Tuesday, 4:45 PM

 

anactualdemon: hello, is this phoenix wright?

nicknackpattywack: oh. yeah. dahlia?

anactualdemon: hi ... i kind of need... help with my homework

anactualdemon: would you mind helping me out?

anactualdemon: youre so smart, after all :)

nicknackpattywack: well, i wouldnt say that, but

nicknackpattywack: sure. ill help you.

nicknackpattywack: what are you having trouble with?

anactualdemon: the maths...

anactualdemon: you see, i dont really understand this, 'quadratic formula', still

anactualdemon: its been troubling me for a while...

nicknackpattywack: well, i dont think i can explain over text

anactualdemon: oh! thats fine :)

anactualdemon: u could come over to my house tmrw to explain... if that isnt too much trouble?

nicknackpattywack: i guess.... i guess not?

anactualdemon: thank you... feenie

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Tuesday, 4:46 PM

 

anactualdemon: plan is set in motion

anactualdemon: we all know what to do?

kicknamestakeass: make the kid jelous

nailpolishpoison: keep armando and mia away from the situation

battleangel: remind him of his time with iris. play psychological games. i can manage that.

rockboi: (notes.zip)

rockboi: all of their schedules. avoid these spots while with phoenix and you should be good.

rockboi: ill get more info on what they do after school

anactualdemon: perfect

anactualdemon: ah

anactualdemon: feels good to be bad

kicknamestakeass: but i still dont get how we can be sure he wont tell his friends about you

kicknamestakeass: i mean, they hate you

anactualdemon: phoenix is an idiot, but hes not a complete lost cause

anactualdemon: if i charm him, hell know to not tell his friends in order to be able to keep meeting with me. simple. hell destroy himself.

kicknamestakeass: whatever you say...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Lesbian Cult grows... Any other suggestions for new members? 
> 
> I say, as if anyone reads this and as if I'm going to continue it.


	5. angst angst and cat videos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> imfine: how did you know?!
> 
> sunshines: its obvious
> 
> sunshines: and i saw his bag in that picture of matt engarde
> 
> sunshines: it has a logo of his band on it
> 
> imfine: see, i was joking when i called you sherlock
> 
> imfine: but youre giving benedict cumberbatch a run for his money

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Tuesday, 4:50 PM

 

gobo: is this apollo justice?

imfine: yeah, and who are you?

gobo: thats not important

gobo: i need to tell you something

imfine: ummmm okay?

gobo: so, i know this is random

gobo: and literally out of nowhere

gobo: but a little birdie told me about your likeness of a certain kids show

imfine: oh no

imfine: how did you find out

gobo: that, my friend, is not important

gobo: what is, is that youre not alone

imfine: wait, youre a steel samurai fan?

gobo: hahahahha

gobo: oh thats funy

gobo: no, im not nerd

gobo: but i know someone who is

imfine: really?!

gobo: yep

gobo: i do

gobo: yep yep

imfine: well who is it?!

gobo: its phoenix wright

gobo: maya fey showed it to him, and hes addicted

gobo: you want a nerdy friend, heres a nerdy friend

imfine: why are you telling me this????

gobo: youll find out soon, my child

gobo: im out

imfine: wait

gobo: yes?

imfine: who are you???

gobo: ...

gobo: the ungodly cool guy with a mask

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 4

Description: our mission – unite all the friend groups!

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

 

Tuesday, 5:03 PM

 

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: hows this for convincing?

sunshines: clever!

sunshines: but how did you find out apollo was a fan of the steel samurai?

sunshines: hes super closeted about it...

gobo: im friends with one of such nerds

gobo: i can smell them

gobo: plus, you can tell from the way they looks at mr. powers, being a former star and all

gobo: and apollo was on cloud 9 at the start of the year ceremony

sunshines: you know how to get things done. i like that.

childofmagic: now we need to ensure phoenix and apollo talk tommorow

gobo: ill tell him that apollo wants to talk and ill get him to sit with us at lunch

childofmagic: wow pearly! you were right, diego is amazing at this!

gobo: the ungodly cool guy with a mask strikes again

gobo: i take out twinks and twunks, and protect fragile lesbians

gobo: call me

childofmagic: pearly, can we keep him?

gravyravy: ask mia

childofmagic: alright, next stage of the plan: if we can get everyone united by the end of the week, we have a big party/day out on the weeked to tighten it.

childofmagic: athena. your turn. try to get mia and juniper to talk, maybe?

sunshines: can do.

 

Private Chat Between Klavier Gavin (pianoman) And Apollo Jutstice (imfine)

 

Tuesday, 5:49 PM

 

pianoman: hey, apollo?

imfine: whats up?

pianoman: what was the

pianoman: the maths homework?

imfine: oh

imfine: pg 5 of the workbook. all the questions.

imfine: kinda late, isnt it?

pianoman: yeah

pianoman: sorry

pianoman: danke dir

imfine: is something wrong?

pianoman: why are you asking?

imfine: you called me by my name

imfine: you didnt do it even once when we met up today

imfine: just 'herr forehead' or 'pollo'

pianoman: fine

pianoman: you got me

pianoman: im not okay. at all.

imfine: what is it?

pianoman: i met you yesterday...

pianoman: but

pianoman: for some reason, i trust you

pianoman: so i think i can tell you

imfine: alright. im all ears.

pianoman: so my dad came home today. he spent the last few weeks overseas.

pianoman: and obviously, youd expect a father to want to see his sons, right?

imfine: obviously. my dad left for a few weeks with his magician troupe once, and when he got back he couldnt get enough of me and trucy.

pianoman: well, thats normal

pianoman: but not my father

pianoman: he comes in, and first thing he does is lock himself up in his office

pianoman: and didnt leave for a good hour

pianoman: didnt even say hello to us

pianoman: obviously, kristoph didnt care. he doesnt care about anything. i wish i could be like that.

pianoman: but it hurts. because i hear from people about how their fathers love them, come to their performances, help them with problems, and i know i cant have that. because my father doesnt care about me. and ive got no mother. so its just me and kristoph.

pianoman: and kristoph doesnt care either. so im alone.

imfine: klavier...

pianoman: and thats not all. because when the douchebag decides to emerge from his little cave, first thing he does is run a check on the house. and of course, hes mad that my room isnt clean. and then he checks our grades. and hes mad mine arent all As. and most of all, hes mad im not like kristoph.

pianoman: how im not as perfect as him, how i dont want to be a defense attorney like him, how i have a hobby instead of studying all the time like him, how i leave the house instead of staying in my room all the time like him.

pianoman: 'why cant you be more like your brother?'. 'why cant you be more like me?'. 'why do you have to be such a special snowflake?'.

imfine: klavier.

pianoman: and he wont accept me for who i am. he doesnt care that i want to be a rockstar, i have to be a lawyer. he doesnt care that i have a slightly different style, i have to dress all proper. he doesnt care that i like rock music, or wearing rings, or that i want to have a boyfriend.

pianoman: unless im exactly like him – exactly like kristoph – he will never acknowledge me

pianoman: theres only one son at our house. one son and his loving father.

pianoman: and then theres me, the spec of dust in the corner.

imfine: klavier!

pianoman: and i act all happy and like im fine because i dont want people to get involved. because i know that if i let someone get close they will push them away. so i pretend im fine so no one gets too curious and looks into it.

pianoman: and i do my best to be 'popular' because no one even cares i exist at home. so at least i can matter somewhere. but its all an empty hole. i know none of them would even shed a single tear if i went and killed myself.

pianoman: and i compliment girls and guys to make it seem like im so 'cool' and such a 'player' or whatever. but thats just because i cant let anyone get too close. because if i get a girlfriend my father wouldnt care, but it would make me feel sick and empy. and if i got a boyfriend maybe id have a reason to be happy, but then my father would have problems. he would have problems that im not like him or kristoph.

pianoman: i cant be myself, i cant do anything at my own house without being critiqued

imfine: KLAVIER!

pianoman: i...

pianoman: im sorry

pianoman: haha, that was weird

pianoman: i dont usually rant like that

imfine: klavier...

pianoman: just forget i said anything, alright?

pianoman: well, i better do that maths homework

imfine: hold it.

imfine: klavier.

pianoman: im sorry

pianoman: i shouldnt have said anything

imfine: no

imfine: its fine

imfine: its good to vent.

imfine: whenever i have an issue, i talk to trucy and tell her everything. and that helps, too.

imfine: so its fine. and now, were gonna talk. and youre not going anywhere.

pianoman: ....okay.

pianoman: thank you

imfine: listen

imfine: getting abandoned like that is the worst

imfine: i shouldnt be telling you this... but... you trusted me, so i trust you.

imfine: juniper's parents left her when she was very young. abandoned her and left the country. no one ever tracked them down. and for those few years after that, she didnt talk, eat, she could barely sleep. she felt like she was nothing.

imfine: but do you know what helped her?

imfine: us. friends. people who cared about her and she could talk to.

pianoman: ...but

pianoman: i dont have anyone like that...

pianoman: everyone i treat as a 'friend' is fake

pianoman: thats my problem.

imfine: alright then

imfine: if thats what you say

imfine: ill officially be your first real friend.

pianoman: apollo...

imfine: now. your brother is a dick. no offense. so you should be glad youre not like him.

imfine: youre your own person, and the most amazing and unique one ive ever met at that.

imfine: so shut up, and love yourself.

pianoman: haha

pianoman: okay

pianoman: whatever you say herr forehead

imfine: im serious

imfine: please, stop pretending

imfine: how about this – come sit with us at lunch tommorow

imfine: not with fake friends

imfine: with me. and ill introduce you to people who actually care.

pianoman: i

pianoman: i dont know

imfine: please?

pianoman: alright...

pianoman: sure.

pianoman: why not.

pianoman: im sorry again for bothering you like this.

imfine: its fine

imfine: see you tommorow

pianoman: see you tommorow, apollo

 

Private Chat Between Athena Cykes (sunshines) And Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Tuesday, 6:00 PM

 

imfine: i have a confession

sunshines: shoot

imfine: so

imfine: i know you told me to forget him

imfine: and to not treat it seriously

imfine: but

imfine: i

sunshines: oh, had coffee with him? yeah i know

imfine: wh

imfine: what?!

imfine: how did you know?!

sunshines: its obvious

sunshines: and i saw his bag in that picture of matt engarde

sunshines: it has a logo of his band on it

imfine: see, i was joking when i called you sherlock

imfine: but youre giving benedict cumberbatch a run for his money

sunshines: i guess so

imfine: um

imfine: are you...

imfine: are you mad?

sunshines: that you ignored me? a little.

sunshines: but youre not an idiot

sunshines: at least, i hope so

sunshines: so if youre doing okay...

sunshines: then im happy for you

sunshines: and i know youre doing the right thing

sunshines: but if that guy even says something relatively rude do you

imfine: i know

imfine: thank you athena

imfine: its good to know youre there for me

sunshines: its nothing

imfine: um... i also may have invited him to sit with us at lunch tommorow

sunshines: damn

sunshines: youre going all out

sunshines: i mean, i dont mind. its more up to clay junie and trucy.

imfine: okay good

imfine: because i was stressing out about it

imfine: lmao

sunshines: classic apollo

sunshines: get some sleep kid

imfine: i will

imfine: love you thena

sunshines: lova ya too polly

 

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Wednesday, 1:03 AM

 

gobo: heya

gobo: are you awake?

boobitch: now i am

boobitch: whats going on?

gobo: i cant sleep

gobo: i had a nightmare

boobitch: boohoo

boobitch: want me to sing you a lullaby?

gobo: it was really bad

gobo: i cant sleep

boobitch: ugh okay

boobitch: do you want me to come over?

gobo: its 1 AM

boobitch: yeah, and the last bus leaves 1:20, so make up your damn mind

gobo: its fine

gobo: i think

gobo: i dont know

boobitch: you wouldnt wake me up if you were 'fine'

boobitch: is it the car crash?

gobo: yep

boobitch: aight, im coming over

gobo: no youre not

gobo: its fine. im fine. goodnight.

boobitch: no youre not.

boobitch: here

boobitch:  <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9agkNfR1q2o>

gobo: what is that?

boobitch: 1 hour of cat videos. now watch it, and go the fuck to sleep.

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Wednesday, 8:16 AM

 

gravyravy: im sitting with trucy and her friends at lunch today

burgerqueen: alrighty

burgerqueen: franziska said i can sit with her and her brother and VON DOUCHEBAG

boobitch: oh my god

boobitch: OH MY GOD

boobitch: youre not gonna say yes, are you?

boobitch: maya please dont tell me youre THAT thirsty

burgerqueen: hey, surely he isnt as bad as he is in class...

burgerqueen: besides, ill just be talking with franzy

burgerqueen: ill be fine

gobo: #toptenthingsisaidbeforedatingmiathat werelies

boobitch: thin fucking ice armando

gobo: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

boobitch: thats it im coming for you

gobo: oh shifhwydjusish

gobo: im sorry IM SORRY

gobo: Wwjdioawhdauwidohaw

burgerqueen: anywaaaay...

burgerqueen: ill go sit with them

burgerqueen: ill see how that goes

boobitch: phoenix, youre being kind of quiet

boobitch: is everything okay?

boobitch: phoenix?

boobitch: somethings wrong

burgerqueen: ?

 

Groupchat: something isnt right

Members: 1

Description: we gotta figure this out

 

Wednesday, 8:17 AM

 

_boobitch created groupchat 'something isnt right' with description:'we gotta figure this out'_

 

_boobitch added gobo, burgerqueen and gravyravy_

 

gobo: suss

boobitch: this is serious. something isnt right with phoenix.

goboo: because he isnt responding? i wouldnt say that

boobitch: no. because of this:

boobitch: (dahliaandphoenixtalking.mp4)

boobtich: i cant hear what theyre talking about but you can see shes got him wrapped around her little finger. we cant let phoenix get used like this.

gobo: damn

gobo : why him? she always said she hated him.

gobo: and why is he letting her just do that? he knows shes a definitvie bitch

burgerqueen: i think i get it

burgerqueen: its about iris, isnt it?

boobtich: yeah... i think so too...

boobtich: shes using the advantage of her looks to try and convince him shes different to what we all already know. and i think its working.

boobtich: wait

boobtich: wait, what?

gobo: whats going on?

boobtich: someone else is talking to them...

boobtich: matt engarde

gobo: what floor? where?

boobtich: just be quiet

boobtich: (mattengarde.mp4)

gobo: hes pretending to be her boyfriend?

boobtich: theyre making phoenix jealous

boobtich: they want him to get desperate

gobo: alright, im done

gobo: im coming up there

boobtich: wait

boobtich: i have a better idea

gobo: ?

boobtich: look, dahlia can get us in trouble just using her sweet words

boobtich: if we hurt her or her friends we get messed up

boobtich: and 'shes manipulating our friend' excuse just wont cut it with her attitude

boobtich: and shell make phoenix vouch for her

gobo: so what do we do?

burgerqueen: i think i know

burgerqueen: we find him someone better, right?

burgerqueen: so he isnt interested?

boobtich: exactly

boobtich: maybe not a parntner, but

boobtich: at least introduce him to some new people

boobtich: distract him from that collosal bitch and mr. refreshing like a spring breeze

gravyravy: uh...

gravyravy: ill ask him to sit with me and trucy at lunch!

gravyravy: ill introduce him to apollo!

gobo: (wink wink)

gravyravy: (wink wink)

boobitch: you two are planning something

boobitch: and i dont like it

gobo: right now all we have to worry about is phoenix

gobo: dont worry about our evil schemes

gravyravy: ;)

gobo: ;)

gravyravy: ill talk to phoenix about coming over to us

burgerqueen: y e e t

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I have to apologize for hurting Klavier even more despite Capcom hating him so much. 
> 
> Uh...
> 
> Forgive me pls :I


	6. meme council

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> motorcyclebabe: JUST THE TWO OF USSSS
> 
> awkward: CELESTE THATS OUR SONG
> 
> motorcyclebabe: I KNOW IT IS HONEY

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Tuesday, 8:21 AM

 

anactualdemon: student council elections today

anactualdemon: we need at least one representative from our group

battleangel: ill get wocky to get his friends to vote for me

rockboi: i aint got a chance against klavier. count me out.

kicknamestakeass: half of the class is female and females hate me SO

nailpolishpoison: im winning. for sure. i can get klavier to not run if you want, daryan.

rockboi: nah

rockboi: just make sure you get in

anactualdemon: in other news – phoenix

rockboi: yeah? hows that going?

kicknamestakeass: hes falling for it

kicknamestakeass: so easy

anactualdemon: but his friends are getting involved... we might have to use plan b

kicknamestakeass: plan b doesnt have any proof yet

kicknamestakeass: lets stick to our main plan for now

anactualdemon: alright.

anactualdemon: good luck in the elections. even though kristoph will win, anyway.

anactualdemon: oh, and also... i have a new idea on how to get phoenix on our side

anactualdemon: listen to this....

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Wednesday, 8:25 AM

 

burgerqueen: diego, are you gonna run for student council?

gobo: nah

gobo: mia is tho

boobitch: hell yeah i am

boobitch: but ive gotta work with von douchebag and kristoph

boobitch: blegh

gobo: well, its not definite kristoph will win

boobitch: ha

boobitch: funny

boobitch: obviously he will win, he always does

nicknackpattywack: i

nicknackpattywack: i have an issue

nicknackpattywack: kinda

boobitch: yes child

nicknackpattywack: im not stupid

nicknackpattywack: i know youve noticed

nicknackpattywack: but dahlia isnt doing anything, i promise

boobitch: uh oh

boobitch: he realized we care about him, run friends

nicknackpattywack: she just stopped me on my way back from the bathroom today

nicknackpattywack: i couldnt get past

nicknackpattywack: i didnt want to talk with her but she forced me

nicknackpattywack: and then engarde showed up

boobitch: so youre okay?

nicknackpattywack: yeah

nicknackpattywack: she wanted me to come to her house

nicknackpattywack: and i almost said yes...

nicknackpattywack: but then i changed my mind

nicknackpattywack: alright?

boobitch: i see

boobitch: well, stay safe kid

nicknackpattywack: i will

nicknackpattywack: thanks for caring about me, guys

burgerqueen: its our job nick

 

Private Chat Between Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack) And Dahlia Hawthorne (anactuademon)

 

Wednesday, 8:27 AM

 

anactualdemon: did you lie to them like i told you feenie?

nicknackpattywack: yes

anactualdemon: good

anactualdemon: dont worry

anactualdemon: ill get you and miles to meet soon

nicknackpattywack: thank you

 

Groupchat: something isnt right

Members: 4

Description: we gotta figure this out

 

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

boobitch: hes lying

gobo: yep

gravyravy: we better find him someone nice soon...

burgerqueen: you know what?

burgerqueen: i have someone in mind

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 7

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Adrian Andrews (awkward)

*Celsete Inpax (motorcyclebabe)

 

Wednesday, 9:11 AM

 

gravyravy: hello lesbians

gravyravy: have you heard the news?

irishgay: i have :))))

awkward: is it related to the elections?

childofmagic: better!

childofmagic: maya, why dont you tell them?

burgerqueen: ugh... fine...

burgerqueen: im gonna sit with franziska today at lunch

burgerqueen: just me and her

burgerqueen: and well, von douchebag and his kid, but that shouldnt be a problem

motorcyclebabe: JUST THE TWO OF USSSS

awkward: CELESTE THATS OUR SONG

motorcyclebabe: I KNOW IT IS HONEY

tumblrartist: so i know this is a little off-topic

tumblrartist: my dad said i can invite my friends over if i want too...

tumblrartist: so if any of you would like to...

irishgay: YES

irishgay: IM COMING OVER AFTER SCHOOL

motorcyclebabe: count me in

motorcyclebabe: we can talk about how much of a dick matt engarde is

awkward: or we could acknowledge how amazing scarlett johanson is

irishgay: we can do BOTH

irishgay: AND WE CAN HAVE TEAAAAA

tumblrartist: my dad would love to meet you all

tumblrartist: he says you can come over :)

burgerqueen: i have a date tonight, so

tumblrartist: thats fine

childofmagic: WAIT

childofmagic: SHE CALLED IT A DATE

burgerqueen: sksksksksksk

burgerqueen: shut up

childofmagic: you know what, ill come too

gravyravy: yeah! and me!

tumblrartist: alright.

tumblrartist: we can watch movies...

tumblrartist: i dont mind what we do, actually...

irishgay: we do gay rituals, of course

tumblrartist: haha, okay. we can do that, too.

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

 

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Wednesday, 9:25 AM

 

anactualdemon: shit

anactualdemon: i think iris read my messeges

kicknamestakeass: i still dont have receipts

anactualdemon: thats fine. keep looking. plan coarse phoenix is a fail for now.

anactualdemon: blackmail will do.

anactualdemon: lets focus on student council. everyone run, just in case.

nailpolishpoison: theres no way i will loose...

anactualdemon: just in case, kristoph.

nailpolishpoison: alright.

nailpolishpoison: i guess backup is always good to have.

kicknamestakeass: ill get some good things soon

kicknamestakeass: i dont in contact with someone who knows what theyre doing

kicknamestakeass: just give me a few more days

anactualdemon: got it.

anactualdemon: student council. our main focus. understood?

 

Private Chat Between Iris Fey (irishgay) And Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

 

Wednesday, 9:35 AM

 

irishgay: you know, i read dahlia's messeges

irishgay: feenie

irishgay: please, dont trust a word she says

nicknackpattywack: ...

nicknackpattywack: but

irishgay: no buts

irishgay: you have no idea how many times those sweet words ruined poeple's lives

irishgay: please, please dont trust her

nicknackpattywack: she said she would

irishgay: i know what she said

irishgay: its lies, all lies

irishgay: i know her better than anyone

irishgay: feenie, just because i dont feel the same kind of love anymore, doesnt mean i dont still care about you. i still love you, youre the best person ive ever met.

irishgay: so please, please, please

irishgay: listen to me

nicknackpattywack: alright.... i will

nicknackpattywack: thanks iris

nicknackpattywack: and uh... im happy for you and vera.

irishgay: thank you... thats very nice of you

 

Private Chat Between Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack) And Dahlia Hawthorne (anactuademon)

 

Wednesday, 9:37 AM

 

nicknackpattywack: screw

nicknackpattywack: you

anactuademon: ahahahahahah

anactuademon: i didnt think youd fall so easily

anactuademon: so you _do_ have a brain

nicknackpattywack: i got lucky

nicknackpattywack: you have an honest sister

anactuademon: if it werent for iris, i would have you in my grasp. right here, right now.

nicknackpattywack: no

nicknackpattywack: you would have lost anyway

nicknackpattywack: unlike you i have people who care about me

nicknackpattywack: dont try your mindtricks anymore

anactuademon: oh dont worry

anactuademon: i have something way, way better up my sleeve

 

_nicknackpattywack blocked anactuademon_

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Wednesday, 9:51 AM

 

nicknackpattywack: so...

nicknackpattywack: sorry

nicknackpattywack: (screenshot.jpg)

nicknackpattywack: (screenshot.jpg)

nicknackpattywack: (screenshot.jpg)

nicknackpattywack: (screenshot.jpg)

nicknackpattywack: (screenshot.jpg)

nicknackpattywack: i hope that explains everything

boobtich: we knew something was wrong. but hey, you solved it yourself.

boobtich: this aint anyother lie, is it?

nicknackpattywack: you can check my phone

nicknackpattywack: god, i almost fell for it

gobo: nah. that was too simple.

gobo: i think it was just to scare you a little

gobo: theyre planning something else

gobo: but, apart from that

gobo: you alright, spikey?

nicknackpattywack: wow

nicknackpattywack: diego is being nice to me

nicknackpattywack: im fine

nicknackpattywack: and yeah. youre right. this all blew over way too quickly.

nicknackpattywack: ill be careful

gobo: so if youre done being manipulated and shit

gobo: today, i want you to talk to someone

nicknackpattywack: ?

gobo: theres this kid. apollo justice, from sophmore year

gobo: hes a steel samurai fan and wants to make friends

nicknackpattywack: oh

burgerqueen: STEEL SAMURAI????

burgerqueen: I WANNA MEET HIM TOO

burgerqueen: SO FAR THE ONLY STEEL SAMURAI FRIEND I HAVE IS CODY HACKINS FROM FRESHMAN YEAR AND THAT KID IS INSANE

nicknackpattywack: what about me???

burgerqueen: youre a fresh fan

burgerqueen: an amateur

burgerqueen: a simpleton

burgerqueen: i need someone experianced

burgerqueen: not a peasant bottom like you

gobo: OOF

burgerqueen: AH SHIT

burgerqueen: i forgot

burgerqueen: i wont sit with you nerds

burgerqueen: not today at least

gobo: oh right. your meeting with the adams family

gobo: well, spikey

gobo: i wouldnt you to be lonely

gobo: ill go sit with the scooby doo gang too

boobtich: i aint gonna be by myself then

boobtich: i guess were merging

gravyravy: ;;;;))))))

gobo: :::::::::::))))))))))))))))))))

boobtich: what

boobtich: the

boobtich: F

boobtich: U

boobtich: C

 

Wednesday, 10: 23

 

gobo: holy

gobo: fuck

boobtich: OH

boobtich: MY

boobtich: SHITTITS

burgerqueen: did this really just happen?

burgerqueen: OH MY GOD THEYRE COMING UP

burgerqueen: YEP YEP IT JUST HAPPENED

burgerqueen: OOOOOOOH SHIT

gravyravy: well that was... unexpected....

nicknackpattywack: the whole hall went silent and looked at kristoph

nicknackpattywack: i feel like something bad is about to happen

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Wednesday, 10:24 AM

 

nailpolishpoison: i cant believe this

nailpolishpoison: klavier had something to do with it

nailpolishpoison: im sure

nailpolishpoison: when i tell our father

rockboi: he wont care anyway, kristoph

rockboi: we all know your dad's a dick

nailpolishpoison: hm

nailpolishpoison: you seem to be correct

kicknamestakeass: right now, we have a problem

kicknamestakeass: kristoph didnt get into student council...

kicknamestakeass: dahlia's plan didnt work...

kicknamestakeass: and we wont have blackmail material until the weekend at best

battleangel: i cant believe none of us got in

nailpolishpoison: ....GOD

nailpolishpoison: FUCKING

nailpolishpoison: DAMN IT

rockboi: RUUUUN PROFESOR POISON IS PISSED

 

Groupchat: Student Council

Members: 9

Description: Official Student Council Group – To Be Used ONLY For Important Work

 

Members:

*Manfred Von Karma (Professor Von Karma)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

*Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

*Franziska Von Karma (Franziska)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Wednesday, 10: 35 AM

 

Professor Von Karma: Let us make one thing clear.

Professor Von Karma: This group is only to be used for Student Council related affairs.

Professor Von Karma: Anything irrelevant will get you kicked off the council.

Professor Von Karma: And if I see this being used during class time, each one of you will get detention instantly, and will get kicked off.

Professor Von Karma: Do I make myself clear?

injusticewetrust: yes sir! we, the student council, shall make you proud!

injusticewetrust: we will represent the school and our years to our best ability!

injusticewetrust: in justice we trust! ha ha!

Professor Von Karma: Well, I'm glad to see you're enthusiastic, Mr. Fulbright.

Professor Von Karma: Now that everything is set up, and if there is no further questions, you may make your way back to your classes. Quietly.

 

Groupchat: real student council

Members: 6

Description: student council – but with less von karma and more memes

 

Members:

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Wednesday, 10:36 AM

 

childofmagic: phew... this is so much better...

elsa: agreed.

childofmagic: hey, nahyuta. youre new, arent you? and you came here last year bobby!

elsa: indeed i am

injusticewetrust: spot on ms. enigmar!

childofmagic: how did you manage to win?

childofmagic: and against mia and kristoph, of all things

injusticewetrust: hmm... welll...

elsa: saying the right things the right way is the key to getting support

elsa: its the basics of politics

childofmagic: damn

childofmagic: alright

spaceboy: uh

spaceboy: truce?

childofmagic: ya?

spaceboy: why arent franziska and miles in this one?

pinecone: i think i understand...

pinecone: its because they would rat us out to mr. von karma, isnt it?

childofmagic: yeh

childofmagic: and he probably checks their phones or something like that

childofmagic: look, serious, serious things we can do on that chat

childofmagic: this is for them m e m e s

elsa: hm

elsa: how can i argue with that?

injusticewetrust: hmmmm

injusticewetrust: this isnt very just :(

gravyravy: bobby, were doing this for the good of the school

gravyravy: it is very very just indeed

injusticewetrust: haha! whatever you say!

injusticewetrust: student council, lets make this year a good one!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Phoenix angst has been removed for now as Klavier has so much angst it cancels everyone else out. 
> 
> Also Bobby. We stan a just queen.


	7. roger get the flames ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> simonsays: it would be a shame if widget found himself flushed down the toilet, huh thena?
> 
> sunshines: NO
> 
> sunshines: NO NO ON
> 
> sunshines: SIMONWKHDI
> 
> sunshines: SOTOTJTTHTH
> 
> mamametis: get back in the cafeteria YOU KIDS

Groupchat: space family

Members: 4

Description: just our space family no memes here move along <333

 

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Aura Blackquill (glados)

*Metis Cykes (mamametis)

 

Wednesday, 12:42 PM

 

simonsays: okay

simonsays: be honest, aura, metis

simonsays: how did the staff react?

mamametis: ?

glados: how many times have i told you to not play the pronoun game cowell

simonsays: oh come on, its obvious what i mean

simonsays: two new kids got into student council

mamametis: ah

mamametis: that

mamametis: well, proffesor von karma was quite surprised

glados: mr. gant was very proud of bobby

glados: i think he wanted him to win

mamametis: im pretty sure nahyuta's dad is a part of the staff

mamametis: mr. sahdmadhi

mamametis: he went crazy

simonsays: yeah, thats his surname

sunshines: where is he from anyway?

sunshines: that name sound wild

simonsays: khura'in

simonsays: he said it was a real religious country

simonsays: he wants to be monk there

sunshines: huh

sunshines: did you talk with him?

simonsays: yeah, i talked with him and bobby

simonsays: weve been kind of hanging out

sunshines: AURA

sunshines: AURA GET THE CAMERA

sunshines: COWELL HAS OTHER FRIENDS THAN US AND TAKA

glados: screenshotted

glados: hanging this on my wall

glados: pops would be proud

simonsays: oh god damn it

simonsays: this is why i never talk about my friends

sunshines: YEH CUZ U GOT NONE

sunshines: GOT HIMMMM

simonsays: it would be a shame if widget found himself flushed down the toilet, huh thena?

sunshines: NO

sunshines: NO NO ON

sunshines: SIMONWKHDI

sunshines: SOTOTJTTHTH

mamametis: get back in the cafeteria YOU KIDS

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Wednesday, 12:56 AM

 

boobitch: so um

boobitch: what the hell just happened

boobitch: i went to the bathroom for a few minutes and now yall made one of the tables into a party

gobo: well

gobo: spiky and pearl sat down with the scooby doo gang

gobo: and i went to join them, because i aint no loner

gobo: and then we started getting long

gobo: and klavier joined too, someone invited him

gobo: and now we have a big friend group

boobitch: ah

boobitch: im comin over

boobitch: i aint missing out on this

gobo: aight

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 4

Description: our mission – unite all the friend groups!

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

 

Tuesday, 1:01 PM

 

childofmagic: here we go

childofmagic: this is it

gobo: which one of you would like to do it

childofmagic: it was pearly's idea!

childofmagic: go on babe, do it

gravyravy: okay okay okay

 

_gravyravy added boobitch, nicknackpattywack, imfine, spaceboy, pinecone, pianoman and burgerqueen_

 

_childofmagic changed the description to 'the ultimate friend group'_

 

boobitch: so THIS is what yall were so shady about

sunshines: hey! i never even had to get mia and junie to talk!

boobitch: yall had roles with this shit?

childofmagic: and we got a bonus member!

pianoman: *fingerguns*

pianoman: honored to be here

imfine: oh god what have you done

childofmagic: hm

childofmagic: hm hm hm

childofmagic: polly, you know how mom and dad are leaving for the weekend with the troupe?

imfine: yes?

childofmagic: and you know how uncle valant, and uncle roger, and grandpa are going too?

imfine: yes????

childofmagic: so the house will like

childofmagic: be free

childofmagic: for the weekend

imfine: truce, no

gobo: i like this one

boobitch: i like her too...

pinecone: would that be okay trucy?

childofmagic: oh come on! my mom loves you guys!

childofmagic: and dad will be over the moon to hear that we made some new friends

childofmagic: and plus, big sleepover/party is essential to a tight af friend group

nicknackpattywack: okay, okay, okay

nicknackpattywack: first off, we dont know yall. at all.

childofmagic: well lets get to know each other more!

childofmagic: hi! my name is trucy enigmar!

childofmagic: im a magician!

nicknackpattywack: hi

nicknackpattywack: im phoenix wright

nicknackpattywack: i dont like going to starnger's houses

spaceboy: oi

spaceboy: cheer up spikey

nicknackpattywack: WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL ME SPIKEY

gobo: cuz youre spiky???

pianoman: i agree

pianoman: herr spikey

imfine: hey!!!

imfine: i thought i was the only herr :(

pianoman: youre the only herr forehead, herr forehead

sunshines: i mean

sunshines: i ship it

pianoman: ha ha

imfine: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

pianoman: hes shaking

sunshines: I AM AWARE

spaceboy: i say we all go to trucy's and apollo's

imfine: i guess

childofmagic: our mom will love klavier

childofmagic: you guys both have amazing singing voices! you can duet!

pianoman: ha ha

pianoman: i cant wait to meet her

childofmagic: so its decided then!

childofmagic: everyone invited, come after school on friday!

imfine: did you even ask permission???

childofmagic: nope!

 

Groupchat: troupe gramarye !!! (and apollo...)

Members: 7

Description: THE GREATEST MAGICAL TROUPE! ....and apollo

 

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Shadi Enigmar (shadiaf)

*Thalassa Gramarye-Enigmar (lmaoir)

*Roger Rentiz (reducereusrecycle)

*Valant Gramarye (bananaman)

*Magnifi Gramarye (thecoolgrandpa)

 

Wednesday, 1:11 PM

 

imfine: just want everyone to know

imfine: i still dont like the name of this group

lmaoir: apollo jove justice!

lmaoir: what did i say about texting in class?

imfine: were at lunch mom

imfine: its fine

lmaoir: did you eat?

imfine: yep...

childofmagic: dont worry mom

childofmagic: if he didnt, junie would have made him

childofmagic: anywayyyyyy

imfine: this was your idea

imfine: you ask her

shadiaf: thats shadi

childofmagic: DAD THIS IS THE TENTH TIME THIS WEEK YOUVE MADE THAT JOKE

shadiaf: I CANT HELP IT

shadiaf: MY PARENTS NAMED ME THIS WAY

shadiaf: THIS IS WHAT THEY WANTED

bananaman: you should have seen him in his 20s

childofmagic: uncle valant,

childofmagic: please spare us another 'when shadi was 20' story

bananaman: fine fine

lmaoir: what did you two want to ask?

reducereusrecycle: WAIT WAIT WAIT

reducereusrecycle: BEFORE YOU ASK ANYTHING

reducereusrecycle: THALASSA

lmaoir: oh god

lmaoir: oh no

lmaoir: not again

reducereusrecycle: please

reducereusrecycle: just one

imfine: oh great

imfine: uncle roger is doing coin tricks again

reducereusrecycle: LOOK ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY JUST DISAPPEAR SOMETIMES OK

reducereusrecycle: NOT EVERY MAGIC TRICK IS PERFECT

reducereusrecycle: LETS NOT FORGET WE STILL HAVENT FOUND MAGNIFI'S PEN AFTER TRUCY DID HER PANTY TRICK

childofmagic: i already said im sorryyyyyyy

thecoolgrandpa: i forgive

childofmagic: and that is why youre the coolest grandpa

thecoolgrandpa: i am the coolest grandpa around

childofmagic: anyyyyyyway

childofmagic: um

childofmagic: so

childofmagic: you know how youre touring this weekend?

lmaoir: indeed we are

lmaoir: and what about it?

childofmagic: well have the house all to ourselves, yes?

lmaoir: mhm

shadiaf: i can already see where this is going

shadiaf: tessa, our children want to have a party

lmaoir: oh HECKS NAW

childofmagic: no no no no no

childofmagic: not a party

childofmagic: we just want to have some friends over for a little sleepover?

childofmagic: no party

lmaoir: hmmmmm

reducereusrecycle: I NEED ANOTHER COIN

lmaoir: ROGER SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK

reducereusrecycle: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

lmaoir: how many people would come over?

childofmagic: we arent sure if everyone can come yet

childofmagic: but 11 at max

childofmagic: i know its a lot but

lmaoir: hm okay

lmaoir: have fun

childofmagic: really???

thecoolgrandpa: she once invited 20 people to our house without permission

thecoolgrandpa: trucy, your mother is very familiar with large 'sleepovers'

lmaoir: DAD!

childofmagic: BUT IT IS A SLEEPOVER

childofmagic: IM NOT USING CODE

bananaman: no offense

bananaman: but since when do you have 11 friends?

childofmagic: wow

childofmagic: rude

lmaoir: VALANT!

bananaman: ALAKAZAM GOTTA SCRAM

imfine: me and truce made some new friends today

shadiaf: and inviting them to our house already?

shadiaf: thats shadi

lmaoir: THIN FUCKING ICE ENIGMAR

shadiaf: FORGIVE ME

lmaoir: i guess they can come

lmaoir: but how you make space, you gotta figure that out yourselves

thecoolgrandpa: IF U USE MY BEDROOM I WILL FITE

childofmagic: GRANDPA NO

thecoolgrandpa: GRANDPA YES

thecoolgrandpa: ROGER, GET THE FLAMES READY

reducereusrecycle: I SHALLLLLLL

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 11

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Wednesday, 1:23 PM

 

childofmagic: good news!

childofmagic: you can come!

boobitch: im bringing every season of icarly on dvd so get ready

childofmagic: i was born ready

imfine: you were born crying so hard that the doctor dropped you

childofmagic: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO SAY THAT TO EVERYONE

gobo: i bring the depression and insomnia

nicknackpattywack: how bout no

gobo: how about yes :>

pianoman: im bringing my guitar fite me

imfine: i wanna hear you play !!!

sunshines: thirsty hoe

burgerqueen: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

boobitch: oh wow, maya is alive

boobitch: how was lunch with von douche?

burgerqueen: HES SUCH A WEIRDO

gobo: you notice now?

burgerqueen: HE KEPT ASKING ABOUT MY FAVOURITE SHAKESPEARE QUOTE

burgerqueen: AND I PANICKED SO I SAID THAT CLICHE ONE FROM ROMEO AND JULIET

burgerqueen: ROMEO ROMEO NO HOMEO OR WHATEVER THE FUCK

burgerqueen: AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I JUST SUMMONED SATAN

gobo: i knew he was into shakespeare

spceboy: thats all you get out of that story?

boobitch: oh right. everyone not caught up. maya is trying to fuck franziska von douche

sunshines: AHAHAHAHHAHAH

sunshines: as if that will work

pinecone: i believe in you maya!

burgerqueen: I THINK HE HATES ME NOW HELL NEVER EVEN LET ME GET CLOSE TO HER AND SKSKSKKSSKSKSKKSKSK

nicknackpattywack: did you talk to miles?

gravyravy: thirsty hoeeeee

nicknackpattywack: shut up

nicknackpattywack: did you?

burgerqueen: I WAS FOCUSED ON BEING QUIZZED ON SHAKSPEARE

burgerqueen: I BROUGHT UP HOW HE SMOKED MARIJUANA

nicknackpattywack: why'st the fuck

burgerqueen: BECAUSE I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT HIM

burgerqueen: oooh i messed up so bad....

burgerqueen: franzy will hate me... von douche will hate me more than usual

childofmagic: i doubt that

burgerqueen: how do you know?

childofmagic: lets ask her ourselves! :D

 

_childofmagic added Franziska_

 

burgerqueen: trucy!

Franziska: Maya? What's this group?

gobo: our friend group

Franziska: Sorry, I'm afraid I don't know who you are

Franziska: In fact, Maya is the only saved number I have in this group

childofmagic: thats fine

childofmagic: we just want to ask you a question

childofmagic: kind of like a survey

Franziska: Okay

Franziska: What is your question?

burgerqueen: trucy, dont

childofmagic: do you hate maya after your lunch together today?

Franziska: ...

Franziska: No

Franziska: Why would I?

Franziska: I had a lot of fun.

burgerqueen: really?

Franziska: Of course.

childofmagic: i think you guys should talk privately now

childofmagic: thanks, franzy

 

_childofmagic removed Franziska_

 

childofmagic: there

childofmagic: good luck :)

burgerqueen: ...thanks

burgerqueen: i guess

 

Private Chat Between Franziska Von Karma (Franziska) And Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

Wednesday, 1:25 PM

 

Franziska: Maya, what did they mean by 'hate you'?

burgeruqeen: i mean... youre all smart and proper and everything

burgeruqeen: and im just... maya

Franziska: Look. I don't really care about that.

Franziska: Maybe my father expects a certain standard from people, but I don't.

Franziska: So relax, alright?

Franziska: You are very kind to me.

Franziska: That's rare.

burgeruqeen: wow.

burgeruqeen: okay.

burgeruqeen: are you still coming over today?

Franziska: Of course!

Franziska: Why wouldn't I?

Franziska: And... You were funny today.

Franziska: I... I haven't laughed like that in a while.

burgeruqeen: ahahaha

burgeruqeen: thanks

Franziska: Maya?

burgerqueen: yes?

Franziska: I can't wait to see you again.

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 7

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Adrian Andrews (awkward)

*Celsete Inpax (motorcyclebabe)

 

Wednesday, 1:27 PM

 

burgerqueen: (screenshot.jpg)

burgerqueen: ladies ^^^

irishgay: ahhhh

irishgay: she is into you too Maya!

burgerqueen: i wouldnt say that

tumblrartist: (sketchoffranmaya.jpg)

irishgay: so talented <3333

motorcyclebabe: maya, shes into you

motorcyclebabe: word for word thats what adrian said after our first date

awkward: you told me we would watch heathers when i saw you again!

awkward: of course i said 'i cant wait to see you again'!

awkward: I LOVE HEATHERS!

motorcyclebabe: i know you do babe

motorcyclebabe: we watch it all the time

motorcyclebabe: i know

gravyravy: were still all going to vera's today, yes?

childofmagic: all of us apart from maya

childofmagic: shes gonna go get some >3<

burgerqueen: im gonna go spend time with a friend***

burgerqueen: not everything gotta be love straight away

gravyravy: ....mia and diego were friends for only a few days

gravyravy: and then, after one meeting, they started dating

burgerqueen: yeah but mia is insane and diego is thirsty

gravyravy: yeah, but mia is hard to get and diego doesnt just go for any girl

gravyravy: sometimes, the right people just click

gravyravy: right, truce?

childofmagic: <3333

childofmagic: i never had anyone before pearly!

burgerqueen: YOURE 15. THATS NORMAL.

childofmagic: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

tumblrartist: ...you guys know what my father is like, right?

childofmagic: most of us do

motorcyclebabe: ???

tumblrartist: hes very... antisocial...

tumblrartist: so when youre over, dont go into his work room, if you dont mind

motorcyclebabe: sure. no prob.

tumblrartist: okay... well, i guess i should say

tumblrartist: i cant wait to see you all again :)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Gramaryes are my personal fave chat... 
> 
> What about you?
> 
> (Who am I kidding no one will read this lol)


	8. boring tiny slugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anactualdemon: WHAT THE FUCK
> 
> kicknamestakeass: despactio
> 
> battleangel: thats not even the full song
> 
> rockboi: and how do you know that???
> 
> battleangel: thats a secret i keep to myself

Private Chat Between Franziska Von Karma (Franziska) And Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

 

Wednesday, 3:45 PM

 

Franziska: um.... miles...

Miles: Franziska

Miles: What's wrong?

Franziska: i think i

Franziska: i think

Franziska: i think i have a crush

Miles: Uh... Okay?

Miles: And you're telling me this why?

Franziska: because i know father will get mad

Franziska: he thinks love is distracting

Franziska: so what do i do?

Miles: You said yourself

Miles: Love is distracting

Franziska: but

Miles: I'm not going to wait forever

Miles: I'm by the car. Hurry up.

Franziska: Oh right. You didn't hear.

Franziska: I'm not coming home yet. I'll be studying with a classmate.

Miles: “Studying”?

Franziska: Yes.

Miles: Franziska.

Miles: You better not be lying to me.

Franziska: I'm not.

Franziska: And you're right.

Franziska: Love is distracting.

 

Groupchat: themis highschool newspaper, bitches!

Members: 5

Description: read back on the damn chat if you dont know whats going on, chap!

 

*Myriam Scuttlebutt (scuttlemybutts)

*Lotta Hart (lottahair)

*Angel Starr (coughupqueen)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

*Betty de Famme (theeviltwin)

 

Wednesday, 3:59 PM

 

scuttlemybutts: alright fuckers

scuttlemybutts: listen up

scuttlemybutts: i dont like beating around the bush so im just gonna cut straight to the point

scuttlemybutts: tommorow is club day. clubs can advertise. new clubs can be made. old clubs with less that five active members will be shut down.

scuttlemybutts: the four of you are exactly what i need to form my club

scuttlemybutts: you all have an ability i need and also arent in any clubs

scuttlemybutts: so, whos in?

coughupqueen: ???

lottahair: yeah, maybe if you told us who you are and what this club is we would be more keen on it.

scuttlemybutts: ah fine

scuttlemybutts: the name's myriam scuttlebutt

coughupqueen: are you that girl from sophmore year who walks around in a box?

scuttlemybutts: the one and only

scuttlemybutts: and i want to make a newspaper

scuttlemybutts: the themis highschool newspaper

scuttlemybutts: reporting on the hottest tea in all the land

theeviltwin: you said you picked us because of our 'skills'

theeviltwin: would you mind elaborating?

scuttlemybutts: of course

scuttlemybutts: i, am the greatest leader of all

scuttlemybutts: also, a proffesional tea spiller

scuttlemybutts: lotta, is the best photographer in the whole school

scuttlemybutts: she can get a shot of anything if we need her to

scuttlemybutts: angel, youre great with men _and_ women

scuttlemybutts: you can charm your way into getting any info

scuttlemybutts: clay, ive seen your writing in our english class

scuttlemybutts: youre the only one in here who can write to an extent

scuttlemybutts: you can be writer and editor

scuttlemybutts: and finally, betty

scuttlemybutts: as you all know, there are very few sets of twins in this school

scuttlemybutts: iris and dahlia being one

scuttlemybutts: betty and bonny being another

scuttlemybutts: betty, as a fellow tea spiller like me...

scuttlemybutts: i can see us using your sister for some great things

theeviltwin: >;3

scuttlemybutts: if you want to know how the paper will work...

scuttlemybutts: thats a thing to work out with the principal

scuttlemybutts: but i have an idea

scuttlemybutts: so

scuttlemybutts: now

scuttlemybutts: whos in?

spaceboy: all i do is spam my friends with memes

spaceboy: might as well

theeviltwin: bonny is so naive

theeviltwin: and maybe i can get some info on trucy to ruin her

theeviltwin: sure, im on board

coughupqueen: there is only one thing i love more than seducing people

coughupqueen: spilling tea

coughupqueen: and i see, that here, i can do both

coughupqueen: so of course, im in

lottahair: I ALREADY GOT SOME PICS

lottahair: MATT ENGARDE DATING DAHLIA HAWTHORNE???

lottahair: ADRIAN ANDREWS AND CELESTE INPAX PLAN REVENGE???

lottahair: STUDENT COUNCIL VOTES ALTERED???

lottahair: I CAN ALREADY SEE IT

lottahair: ALL THE TITLES. THE DRAMA.

lottahair: LETS DO THIS

scuttlemybutts: well then

scuttlemybutts: ill see you tommorow

scuttlemybutts: and tommorow, we release our first article

scuttlemybutts: myriam, out

 

Groupchat: the good the bad and the ugly

Members: 3

Description: nahyuta looks like elsa and if you disagree you can PERISH

 

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Wednesday, 4:22 PM

 

simonsays: looking at the chat name

simonsays: whos who?

elsa: bobby is all the good in this world

injusticewetrust: :)

elsa: simon, you're bad

elsa: no offense

simonsays: none taken

elsa: so i guess im the ugly :(

simonsays: fuck you im the ugly

simonsays: youre too pretty for that

elsa: so im the bad :)

injusticewetrust: in the name of justice i decalre you the good

injusticewetrust: i shall be the bad

injusticewetrust: SO BAD IM GOOD

elsa: :))))))))))))))

simonsays: how about this

 

_simon says changed group name to 'the good, the better and the pretty'_

 

elsa: :))))

simonsays: not that im offended or anything

simonsays: but you know i used to have the longest hair at the school

elsa: let it go and move on

injusticewetrust: THERE IT IS

injusticewetrust: THAT PHRASE YOU ALWAYS USE

injusticewetrust: THATS WHY YOURE ELSA

elsa: says the guy who goes around screaming IN JUSTICE WE TRUST

injusticewetrust: BECAUSE IN JUSTICE WE TRUST

simonsays: i want to see nahyuta singing let it go

elsa: i cant sing

simonsays: HA

simonsays: HA HA HA

simonsays: I HEARD YOU SINGING K-POP SONGS

elsa: oh

elsa: my

elsa: YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO

simonsays: the calm and collected nahyuta has lost it

simonsays: BOBBY WE BROKE HIM

injusticewetrust: MY LOVE IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEE

elsa: HOW TF DO YOU KNOW BLACKPINK LYRICS

injusticewetrust: BECAUSE I HEARD YOU SING

elsa: SKSKKSKSKSKKS

 

Private Chat Between Simon Blackquill (simonsays) And Aura Blackquill (glados)

 

Wednesday, 4:24

 

glados: simon get your feathery shitstick out of my room or so help me

simonsays: aura

simonsays: not right now

glados: and whats that supposed to mean?

simonsays: im bullying a kid

glados: cool

glados: can i join in

simonsays: do you know any k-pop songs

glaods: ???

glados: what kinda kid are you bullying

simonsays: nahyuta

glados: he looks like a bts fan

simonsays: ik

glados: aight

glados: call them boring tiny slugs

simonsays: WHAT

glados: idk i just wanna help make someone else's life terrible???

glados: speaking of, there is something, or someone, making my life pain rn

glados: no that im complaining

glados: but it would be a lot easier to be abusive to my robots if your screeching husband wasn't here

simonsays: excuse me

simonsays: taka is my son

simonsays: and this aint alabama

glaods: ???

glados: incest joke? to your sister? really?

simonsays: the fact that you got that just exposed you as a meme lord

simonsays: im sending this to athena

glados: ha as if i care

simonsays: im sending it to metis

glados: ...

glados: you wouldnt.

simonsays: i would

simonsays: now allow me to bully the monk child and metis wont know anything

simonsays: ill get taka later

glados: ._.

 

Groupchat: the good the bad and the ugly

Members: 3

Description: nahyuta looks like elsa and if you disagree you can PERISH

 

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Wednesday, 4:34 PM

 

simonsays: boring tiny slugs

elsa: STOP

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Wednesday, 5:32 PM

 

nicknackpattywack: is everyone coming to the scooby doo gang's sleepover

gravyravy: im just coming for truce

boobitch: if you want a good party you need bonnie and clyde

gobo: i thought we were romeo and juliet ;(

burgerqueen: hell yeah im coming

nicknackpattywack: oh. maya

nicknackpattywack: how was your date?

burgerqueen: weird

burgerqueen: there was this tension

burgerqueen: like she was scared or something

burgerqueen: but we had fun

burgerqueen: we got noodles at eldoon's >:)

nicknackpattywack: that salty stuff?

burgerqueen: yeah

burgerqueen: it was actually kind of funny

burgerqueen: i dont think she expected them to be _that_ salty

burgerqueen: also WE TOOK A PICTURE LOOK

burgerqueen: (selfie.jpg)

gravyravy: awwwww

gobo: is she.... smiling?

boobitch: IMPOSSIBLE

gravyravy: precious <3

burgerqueen: she was being so nice to me

burgerqueen: i think im in love T-T

gravyravy: welcome to the club

boobitch: were all in love here arent we

gobo: yes yes very in love

burgerqueen: diego wink twice if shes holding you hostage

gobo: wink wink

gobo: send help

boobitch: youre gonna need help after im done with you

gobo: WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

boobitch: :)

gobo: HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE

boobitch: your mom let me in

boobitch: what a nice woman

gobo: NO GETAWAY

gobo: GETAYEGD

gobo: WUHDIDWBUD

burgerqueen: F

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Wednesday, 6:32 PM

 

nailpolishposion: hello everyone

nailpolishposion: once more i say

nailpolishposion: i hate my brother

anactualdemon: whats new

nailpolishposion: he said hes going to some sleepover for the weekend

anactualdemon: isnt that good?

anactualdemon: you wont have to deal with him

nailpolishposion: yeah but i wont get to annoy him either

nailpolishposion: knowing him, hes gonna get himself a girlfriend over there

anactualdemon: o

anactualdemon: while on the topic of girlfriends

anactualdemon: who is it this month matt

kicknamestakeass: i dont know yet

kicknamestakeass: you know athena cykes

anactualdemon: no chance

kicknamestakeass: ?

anactualdemon: shes a lesbain

anactualdemon: like a hundred percent

kicknamestakeass: o

kicknamestakeass: okay

kicknamestakeass: thennnn

kicknamestakeass: theres this dahlia hawthorne

battleangel: CORNYYYYY

rockboi: sing a ballad for her

kicknamestakeass: Ay Fonsi DY Oh Oh no, oh no Oh yeah Diridiri, dirididi Daddy Go Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote Tengo que bailar contigo hoy (DY) Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome Muéstrame el camino que yo voy (Oh) Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (Oh yeah) Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube)

 

anactualdemon: WHAT THE FUCK

kicknamestakeass: despactio

battleangel: thats not even the full song

rockboi: and how do you know that???

battleangel: thats a secret i keep to myself

kicknamestakeass:  [Quiero ver bailar tu pelo, quiero ser tu ritmo (Woah, woah) Que le enseñes a mi boca (Woah, woah) Tus lugares favoritos ](https://genius.com/Luis-fonsi-despacito-lyrics#note-11395628) _[(Favorito, favorito, baby)](https://genius.com/Luis-fonsi-despacito-lyrics#note-11395628) _ [Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de ](https://genius.com/Luis-fonsi-despacito-lyrics#note-11395681)

anactualdemon: STOP

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 11

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Wednesday, 7:32 PM

 

childofmagic: tommorow is club day

childofmagic: and i was wondering

childofmagic: anyone here planning to join clubs/make clubs?

gobo: me and machi tobaye from freshman year already have a club

childofmagic: oh?

gobo: blind club

gobo: were just blind boys doing what blind boys do

childofmagic: >->

gobo: :)

sunshines: i know aura and metis want to start a science club

sunshines: but they need students as members

sunshines: aura is probably gonna force simon to join

boobitch: aura? as in ms. blackquill?

boobitch: metis?

sunshines: ms. cykes

sunshines: my mom :)

boobitch: oh

boobitch: dope

childofmagic: HELOOOO

childofmagic: I ASKED A QUESTION

spaceboy: i have a club already

childofmagic: o

spaceboy: but its a new one

spaceboy: so i cant say anything

imfine: knowing him, its something related to space

spaceboy: oi

spaceboy: thats as if i said youd join a steel samurai club

nicknackpattywack: :>

imfine: ?

nicknackpattywack: lets make one >:)

imfine: nnnnn

imfine: how bout no

imfine: u want everyone to think were nerds

boobitch: we all already think youre nerds

sunhines: ^^^

gravyravy: vera misham wants to start an art club

gravyravy: but she cant find enough people to join

gravyravy: as of now, she only has iris

pinecone: how about me and robin?

pinecone: shes a great artist!

pinecone: and i always wanted to learn how to paint...

childofmagic: ill tell her

childofmagic: actually, wait

gobo: sussss

 

Groupchat: art club

Members: 5

Description: for all your art club needs

 

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Robin Newman (robinbanks)

 

Wednesday, 7:34 PM

 

childofmagic: my work here is done

childofmagic: goodbye

 

_childofmagic left_

 

tumblrartist: ah... hello...

irishgay: dont worry vera

irishgay: i can talk for you

irishgay: in summary, vera wants to start an art club

irishgay: would you like to join?

robinbanks: YEEESSSSS

robinbanks: HELL YEAH MAAAAN

robinbanks: I LOVE ARTTTT

pinecone: i really want to learn how to paint...

pinecone: if that isnt too much trouble

tumblrartist: oh...

tumblrartist: i can teach you...

irishgay: she taught me how to paint!

irishgay: shes amazing!

irishgay: its decided then!

irishgay: we just need one more member

tumblrartist: do teachers count?

irishgay: dont think so

irishgay: but maybe if we got the support of a teacher they could convince the principal to establish our club with just four members?

tumblrartist: hm....

tumblrartist: maybe

irishgay: but which teacher?

tumblrartist: im not sure....

pinecone: ms courte!

pinecone: she loves art!

robinbanks: YEAAAAAAH

robinbanks: MS COURTE WOULD TOTALY HELP USSSS

pinecone: uh... robin...

pinecone: you dont have to have caps on all the time, you know?

robinbanks: BUT THATS METAL AS HELL

pinecone: whatever you say

irishgay: ill talk with ms courte tommorow, but just in case, we should all try to find another member

irishgay: we cant be the only ones in the school interested in art, after all

robinbanks: HELL YEEEE LETS DO THISSSS

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The Boring Tiny Slugs joke is based off something that happened in my English class. 
> 
> We had to make a presentation about something we liked, and my friend did BTS. The teacher was giving us tips on what to do and how to improve and he decided to use her topic as an example. And he said;
> 
> "At least tell me what the name stands for! I assume it's not Boring Tiny Slugs, is it? Nah, didn't think so"


	9. woken up to the sound of despacito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> childofmagic: he just shrieked and woke the whole house up
> 
> childofmagic: AND VALANT LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE
> 
> sunshines: dont you guys live in like a mansion???
> 
> childofmagic: EXACTLY

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

 

Wednesday, 10:32 PM

 

nicknackpattywack: i had a question

gobo: at 10 pm?

nicknackpattywack: you say, as if you werent planning to stay up until 3

gobo: guilty as charged

gobo: whats up spikey

nicknackpattywack: um

nicknackpattywack: this is random

nicknackpattywack: but

nicknackpattywack: you and mia, huh?

gobo: ???

gobo: weve been dating for two years

gobo: and now you ask about us?

nicknackpattywack: yeah u see well

nicknackpattywack: how did that even happen

gobo: you are a very strange man mr wright

nicknackpattywack: sh

nicknackpattywack: tell me

nicknackpattywack: please?

gobo: youre playing with fire

nicknackpattywack: im aware

gobo: i can tell you if you tell me why youre so interested

nicknackpattywack: basically

nicknackpattywack: i heard you started dating like two weeks after meeting

nicknackpattywack: and i was wondering, what kind of first impression you had to make

nicknackpattywack: for that to happen

gobo: oh my

gobo: could it be, spikey is on the hunt?

nicknackpattywack: something like that

nicknackpattywack: now, tell me?

gobo: i can assure you, my story will be no good for you

nicknackpattywack: are you sure?

gobo: postive

gobo: me and mia met in strange circumstances

gobo: but.... since youre here

gobo: how about i give you... how shall i call it... tutoring?

nicknackpattywack: tutoring on how to get women?

gobo: oh please

gobo: youre obviously looking for a man

nicknackpattywack: hm

nicknackpattywack: you got me

nicknackpattywack: so then tell me, how will the straightest man on the planet help me get a bf?

gobo: a cat owner can take care of a dog if they try

nicknackpattywack: what

gobo: im sure my tricks will work on the bachelors just as they do on the maidens

nicknackpattywack: we talked about the cryptic methaphors

gobo: perhaps we did

gobo: well talk more tommorow

nicknackpattywack: god why did i even bother

 

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

 

Wednesday, 10:36 AM

 

nicknackpattywack: hello mom friend

boobitch: hello gay cousin friend

boobitch: its a little late

boobitch: shouldnt you be sleeping?

nicknackpattywack: sorry MOM

nicknackpattywack: i just need to ask something

boobitch: ?

nicknackpattywack: (screenshot.jpg)

nicknackpattywack: (screenshot.jpg)

nicknackpattywack: this got me wondering, how did you two meet anyway?

boobitch: hm

boobitch: did we never talk about it?

nicknackpattywack: nope not really

boobitch: i can tell you a little

boobitch: but its not in my place to tell you the rest

nicknackpattywack: alright?

boobitch: so you know he wasnt born blind, right?

nicknackpattywack: figured as much

boobitch: yeah well, three years ago, he got in a nasty accident

boobitch: thats how he lost eyesight

nicknackpattywack: damn

boobitch: he went into a coma for a year

boobitch: he had to come back to a class of sophmores he didnt know

boobitch: and had to deal with all sort of shit

nicknackpattywack: double damn

boobitch: being blind is only one thing that he got from that

boobitch: again, not my place to say anything else

boobitch: in summary, he was a mess, and i just moved there

boobitch: so we both were loners without friends

nicknackpattywack: triple damn

boobitch: so we talked

boobitch: and ended up falling in love

boobitch: the end

nicknackpattywack: huh

nicknackpattywack: still a better love story that twilight

boobitch: no shit

nicknackpattywack: so those other things

nicknackpattywack: are those coughing fits a part of it too?

boobitch: again

boobitch: not my place to say

boobitch: but its kind of obvious so,

boobitch: yeah, the coughing fits too

boobitch: and the scars, and the pale skin, and all the other stuff

nicknackpattywack: huh

nicknackpattywack: okay, sorry for bothering you

boobitch: its nothing

boobitch: just, dont tell anyone about this, alright?

nicknackpattywack: you can trust me

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) And Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

 

Thurday, 2:32 AM

 

kicknamestakeass: Ay Fonsi DY Oh Oh no, oh no Oh yeah Diridiri, dirididi Daddy G Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote Tengo que bailar contigo hoy (DY) Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome Muéstrame el camino que yo voy (Oh) Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (Oh yeah) Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmig Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube) Quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero ser tu ritmo Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby) Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido (Diridiri, dirididi Daddy) Si te pido un beso ven dámelo Yo sé que estás pensándolo Llevo tiempo intentándolo Mami, esto es dando y dándolo Sabes que tu corazón conmigo te hace bom, bom Sabes que esa beba está buscando de mi bom, bom Ven prueba de mi boca para ver cómo te sabe Quiero, quiero, quiero ver cuánto amor a ti te cabe Yo no tengo prisa, yo me quiero dar el viaje  
Empecemos lento, después salvaje Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito Cuando tú me besas con esa destreza Veo que eres malicia con delicadeza Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Y es que esa belleza es un rompecabezas Pero pa montarlo aquí tengo la pieza Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube) Quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero ser tu ritmo Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby) Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido Despacito Vamos a hacerlo en una playa en Puerto Rico Hasta que las olas griten "¡ay, bendito!" Para que mi sello se quede contigo Pasito a pasito, suave suavecitoNos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby) Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido (DY) Despacito

anactualdemon: there will be blood engarde

anactualdemon: you better have a good goddamn reason to wake me up with despacito

kicknamestakeass: i actually do

kicknamestakeass: im about to get in contact with 'the guy'

anactualdemon: the blackmail person?

kicknamestakeass: yeah

kicknamestakeass: i need you to stick around

anactualdemon: alright

anactualdemon: i guess ill play fortnite to stay awake or something

kicknamestakeass: minecraft***

anactualdemon: just get the blackmail engarde

kicknamestakeass: the guy is really hard to get in conatct with

kicknamestakeass: he basically has a bloody treasure hunt in the school to get his number

kicknamestakeass: so id love a little appriciation

anactualdemon: just get the blackmail engarde

kicknamestakeass: i had to ask some people for tips

kicknamestakeass: and i mean shady people

kicknamestakeass: shadier than us

kicknamestakeass: like the atmey kid from senior year

anactualdemon: JUST GET THE BLACKMAIL, ENGARDE

kicknamestakeass: STFU THATS WHAT IM DOING

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) And The Phantom (???)

 

Thurday, 2:34 AM

 

kicknamestakeass: so youre the guy

???: and youve found me

???: and even texted at the right time

???: i must say, im impressed

???: not many people believe in my existance, not only that, find my number

kicknamestakeass: it was quite a bit of work

kicknamestakeass: so you can get info on people from themis?

???: info, pictures, recordings... anything, as long as you give me time

kicknamestakeass: who are you anyway?

???: that does not benefit our deal, mr engarde

kicknamestakeass: how did you know

???: i have everyone's numbers

???: come on, thats the basics

kicknamestakeass: fair

kicknamestakeass: what i need is any form of blackmail material

???: nothing specific?

???: making my job very easy

kicknamestakeass: i can even point you in the right direction

???: making my job even easier

???: very well

???: who and what?

kicknamestakeass: phoenix wright

kicknamestakeass: theres rumors going around that he has a thing for miles edgeworth

kicknamestakeass: could you get something related to that?

???: hm

???: since its a rumour, it will be tough

???: ill try my best. give me until wednesday next week.

kicknamestakeass: sounds good to me

kicknamestakeass: payment?

???: half up front

???: and if you dont believe ill go through with the deal,

kicknamestakeass: oh i believe dont worry

kicknamestakeass: i know who you are and how you get things done

kicknamestakeass: a friend of mine used your services once

???: mr juan corrida... what a shame you found out

???: not friends anymore after that, huh?

kicknamestakeass: irrelevant

kicknamestakeass: lets get this over with

kicknamestakeass: where do i leave the payment?

???: i change the place for every request, just for safety

???: and your lucky spot is....

???: the old dumpster by the football field. the black, unused one.

kicknamestakeass: consider it done

???: i like clients like you

???: no hesitation

kicknamestakeass: and i like people like you. getting the job done.

???: this is the start of a great cooperation. stay in contact, mr engade.

kicknamestakeass: oh i will

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) And Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

 

Thurday, 2:36 AM

 

kicknamestakeass: (screenshot.jpg)

kicknamestakeass: (screenshot.jpg)

kicknamestakeass: (screenshot.jpg)

kicknamestakeass: (screenshot.jpg)

anactualdemon: wow

anactualdemon: you sound so professional in that

anactualdemon: im kinda impressed

kicknamestakeass: are you into that? ;)

anactualdemon: one more seducing attempt and im crucifying you

kicknamestakeass: fair

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Thurday, 3:06 AM

 

imfine: damn, i completely forgot

imfine: it just woke me up

imfine: so after what you told me, i wanted to make sure

imfine: i know that when you go home no one will care

imfine: so i want to make sure that you know i care

imfine: today, you did really well in the student council elections

imfine: coming second isnt easy, you know?

imfine: your speech was really convincing, and you had me totally charmed

imfine: athena was amazed too

imfine: she also nearly cried... but shes quite the emotional girl

imfine: still, good job

imfine: also, i heard about what happened to The Gaviners last year

imfine: and i think you should try to set them up again this year

imfine: everyone in the whole school – including me – loved your music

imfine: and tommorow... well, today i guess, is club day, so maybe give it a try?

imfine: not with daryan and engarde, obviously

imfine: those assholes treated you like shit

imfine: and its good you left them... or they left you, i guess

imfine: im sure you can find some musicians who want to form a band!

imfine: i heard diego used to play the drums???

imfine: look, its obvious im grasping... but i just want you to be happy, i guess?

imfine: your family doesnt deserve someone as creative and unique as you

imfine: so i want you to know that theres people who care

imfine: like me, like athena, like truce, junie, clay, diego, mia, and so many more

imfine: so yeah. you did great today.

imfine: and you should try the band thing again. really.

imfine: god what am i saying...?

imfine: im so damn tired

imfine: just... stay gold, i guess

 

Thursday, 5:32 AM

 

pianoman: <3

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Thursday, 7:34 AM

 

imfine: I MESSED UP

imfine: I MESSED UP SO BAD

sunshines: its a bit early, isnt it?

childofmagic: dont even

childofmagic: he just shrieked and woke the whole house up

childofmagic: AND VALANT LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE

sunshines: dont you guys live in like a mansion???

childofmagic: EXACTLY

imfine: oh god oh god oh fuck

imfine: what is wrong with me

pinecone: relax polly

pinecone: deep breaths, okay?

pinecone: in and out

pinecone: now tell us what happened

imfine: (screenshot.jpg)

imfine: (screenshot.jpg)

imfine: (screenshot.jpg)

imfine: (screenshot.jpg)

imfine: i woke up in the middle of the night remembering i meant to text him something

imfine: but i was so tired i ended up ranting

imfine: and i woke up this morning hoping i could delete it before he sees

imfine: but he already saw and texted this!!!

imfine: AGHHHH KILL ME

spaceboy: oh my god polly

spaceboy: i knew you were gay when we dated last year

spaceboy: but this

spaceboy: this is something else

imfine: SHUT UP

pinecone: oh my.... well, klavier doesnt seem to mind

sunshines: ARE YOU SERIOUS JUNIE

sunshines: HE TEXTED HIM A HEART

sunshines: IF THIS ISNT A CONFESSION I DONT KNOW WHAT IS

childofmagic: i ship it so baddd

childofmagic: polly

childofmagic: POLLY I HAVE AN IDEA

imfine: ???

childofmagic: at the sleepover.

childofmagic: well put you in the same room. and then... sparks fly.

imfine: TRUCY NO

childofmagic: TRUCY YESSSS

 

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

 

Thursday, 7:45 AM

 

gobo: alright

gobo: ready for your first lesson, spikey?

nicknackpattywack: yeah, hold that thought

nicknackpattywack: i did some digging

nicknackpattywack: apparently, you were in some accident three years ago

gobo: maybe

gobo: and?

nicknackpattywack: and i was just wondering

nicknackpattywack: is that why youre blind?

gobo: want a detailed account on how i got glass in my eyes?

nicknackpattywack: oof

nicknackpattywack: what happened?

gobo: its none

gobo: of your buisness

nicknackpattywack: i can just read the article, you know

nicknackpattywack: but i wont if you dont want me to

gobo: why are you so curious?

gobo: god, fine

gobo: it was a car accident, alright?

gobo: i was in a car, some drunk asshat hit me and i got messed up

gobo: went into a coma for a year

gobo: woke up, met mia, then maya, then pearl, and then you

gobo: the end

gobo: happy now?

nicknackpattywack: ...the crash had a single fatality

gobo: havent you had enough?

gobo: as far as im concerned, i was the one in an accident

gobo: not you

gobo: so its none of your buisness

gobo: lets just focus on getting you a man

nicknackpattywack: youre right

nicknackpattywack: i shoudlnt get involved

nicknackpattywack: so, lesson one

nicknackpattywack: what can you teach me?

gobo: i call this technique the 'team effort'

gobo: introduce the love of your life to a group of friends frist to ease them into a closer relation with you alone

gobo: very simple, works very well

nicknackpattywack: really?

nicknackpattywack: thats it?

gobo: were you expecting some konami code?

gobo: love is natural, my friend

nicknackpattywack: yeah.... but i dont think it will work on the person i have in mind

gobo: it works on anyone

gobo: it worked on me, ask mia

nicknackpattywack: yeah... but you see... the person...

nicknackpattywack: it may or may not be miles edgeworth

gobo: well shit

 

Groupchat: themis highschool newspaper, bitches!

Members: 5

Description: read back on the damn chat if you dont know whats going on, chap!

 

*Myriam Scuttlebutt (scuttlemybutts)

*Lotta Hart (lottahair)

*Angel Starr (coughupqueen)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

*Betty de Famme (theeviltwin)

 

Thursday, 8:12 AM

 

scuttlemybutts: i figured everything out with the higher ups

scuttlemybutts: and we have a cool old system in place

coughupqueen: lets hear it then

scuttlemybutts: so, there is a huge group with everyone in the school

scuttlemybutts: and im the only one who can write there

scuttlemybutts: and just like that, we post our articles there

scuttlemybutts: viola

spaceboy: (pictureofviola.jpg)

scuttlemybutts: shut up

scuttlemybutts: anyway, i have a file for the opening article

scuttlemybutts: (draft.docx)

scuttlemybutts: were supposed to get the first article out by the end of the day, so chop chop lads

scuttlemybutts: polish that thing off

spaceboy: gotcha

lottahair: add these while youre at it

lottahair: (miscpics.zip)

lottahair: just a bunch of pics of random drama... not to be used for anything special

theeviltwin: here

theeviltwin: (interview.mov)

theeviltwin: bonny set me up with this.

theeviltwin: just something for our approval

coughupqueen: interview with klavier gavin?

coughupqueen: amazing

coughupqueen: clay, once youre done, send it

coughupqueen: ill edit it

spaceboy: alrighty

 

Thursday, 9:25 AM

 

spaceboy: (seconddraft.docx)

spaceboy: hope this is good

coughupqueen: hmmm

coughupqueen: one second

 

Thursday, 9:32 AM

 

coughupqueen: (final.docx)

coughupqueen: thats better

scuttlemybutts: thats perfect

scuttlemybutts: lets post it, friends

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Klapollo is strong in this one...


	10. clubs and hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> simonsays: did you mention your sister coming over just to do the prince reveal???
> 
> elsa: perhaps ;)
> 
> elsa: youll never know ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> injusticewetrust: HES A SLIMY PRINCE
> 
> simonsays: SLIMY SLIMY PRINCE

 

Groupchat: Themis Highschool Newspaper

Members: 569

Description: It's all in the name!

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

_chat limited. only scuttlemybutts, coughupqueen, spaceboy, lottahair and theeviltwin can text._

 

Thursday, 10:00 AM

 

scuttlemybutts:

 

 

**THEMIS HIGHSCHOOL NEWSPAPER – THE NEW SENSATION!**

 

My my, how boring last year was! I mean, with the lack of a place for all the drama and not even a single tea spiller running around? Well, that is if we don't count me, Myriam. The best journalist in the area! Me and a couple other students decided to spice it up this year, because what's the point in living those boring lives of ours? Drama is what fuels this world. And drama is what fuels the lives of highschoolers like us. Welcome, to the Themis Highschool Newspaper! Your number one source for drama, tea, and entertainment. A place where you can get the info on anything happening in Themis, brought to you hot and fresh from the heart of the school!

 

(controversialpicture.jpg) (controversialpicture.jpg) (controversialpicture.jpg)

_Pictures taken by: Lotta Hart_

 

Oh my! Is that Matt Engarde on a date with Dahlia Hawthorne? Could it be, Adrian Andrews and Celeste Inpax planning revenge on their ex? Oh, look at that large group of students hanging around the back of the school during class time! What a mess! Did you hear the rumors that the Student Council Votes were altered? Or that the Art Club is hiding a _daaaark_ secret? So many things we could report on... And so much time! Follow our newspaper for more daily drama and the hottest tea you can get in this part of the school! New articles every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:00 AM!

 

Here is something to start our great newspaper off: Did you hear that Klavier Gavin is planning to get the Gaviners back together? This time, with different members. He said... 'Last year the band broke up because of misunderstanding and some arguments between band members. But I don't think all hope is lost. With some new, dedicated members, I think we can really make it work. But I still haven't found anyone. So, I guess I can use this opportunity. Hey, readers? Who would like to join the Gaviners?'. We asked Gavin about why he would want to try again. He told us... 'Someone inspired me to try again. I woke up this morning to a text that changed my mind about some things. And I guess I made my mind up on a whim. I don't care. I wanna try. You only live once, ja?'. Well, we shall see where this whole thing goes. As for now...

 

We will see you again next week with some great report on some hot, hot tea! And watch yourself. You never know when you might end up on our front cover ;)

 

_Reported and drafted by: Myriam Scuttlebutt_

_Written by: Clay Terran_

_Edited by: Angel Starr_

_Interview by: Betty de Femme_

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Thursday, 10:11 AM

 

sunshines: so _this_ is what our little clay was working on

sunshines: youre a writer for the themis highschool newspaper?

spaceboy: hey. like klaiver said. you only live once.

spaceboy: your words really inspired him, polly

imfine: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

sunshines: so as far as polly goes, the usual

sunshines: never pictured you as a tea spiller, clay

spaceboy: eh

spaceboy: i like it

pinecone: you work with myriam, angel, betty and lotta

sunshines: must be great for such a distiguished gay to work amongst so many females

spaceboy: he he

spaceboy: you know how it is

childofmagic: betty and not bonny? weird. they always do everything together.

spaceboy: bonny basically works with us

spaceboy: but doesnt put her name on anything

spaceboy: her and betty are like one person in this

sunshines: hey!!! whats the art club's dark secret?

spaceboy: theres none

spaceboy: it is what we call shock factor

spaceboy: it gets you interested

childofmagic: clay what has happened to you

childofmagic: you are so scawwwwyyy

spaceboy: :)

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Thurday, 10:22 AM

 

imfine: that text you mentioned in your interview

pianoman: what can i say, youve got a way with words, herr forehead

imfine: haha, okay sure

pianoman: you know, that thing is making a lot of people come up to me

pianoman: i think we can really make the gaviners happen again

imfine: we?

pianoman: of course

pianoman: i mean, how could i do it without you?

imfine: but i... i cant do anything

pianoman: oh please. everyone's got a talent.

imfine: ...huh. ill think about it, i guess.

 

Groupchat: the good the better and the pretty

Members: 3

Description: nahyuta looks like elsa and if you disagree you can PERISH

 

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Thursday, 11:32 AM

 

simonsays: are you two busy this weekend?

injusticewetrust: ?

simonsays: athena is leaving to some sleepover and metis and aura have a project to work on

simonsays: so in summary, ill be alone at my house, and i have nothing to do

injusticewetrust: hm

injusticewetrust: i think ill have time

elsa: sorry

elsa: im busy

simonsays: going to a boring tiny slugs concert?

elsa: (ง'̀-'́)ง

elsa: no

elsa: my sister is visiting

simonsays: wait wait wait

simonsays: SISTER?

simonsays: since when do you have a sister

injusticewetrust: CAN WE CALL HER ANNA

simonsays: BOBBY NO

injusticewetrust: BOBBY YES

simonsays: okay, but

simonsays: sister

simonsays: you have

simonsays: a sister

elsa: did i fail to mention her?

elsa: my apologies.

elsa: yes, i have a sister. but due to... complications, she must remain in khura'in with our aunt, while me and my father live in america.

simonsays: why are you in america anyways?

simonsays: if you dont mind

elsa: oh, not at all

elsa: i was seeking a higher education

elsa: and this school here provides exactly what i require

elsa: while my sister wanted the same, it was crucial she remained in khura'in

simonsays: whys that?

elsa: huh... i guess you would have dug it up yourself, either way

elsa: my sister... is a princess. the princess of khura'in. her name is rayfa padma khura'in

simonsays: you

simonsays: are

simonsays: JOKING

elsa: i am not

elsa: look it up, buttercup

elsa: you americans have google for something, dont you?

injusticewetrust: I JUST DID

injusticewetrust: NAHYUTA THAT MAKES YOU...

elsa: ...yes...

elsa: i guess you could say im a prince

injusticewetrust: OH

injusticewetrust: MY

injusticewetrust: GOD

injusticewetrust: HE IS

injusticewetrust: LITERALLY

injusticewetrust: ELSA

simonsays: RIGHT????

simonsays: THERES JUST MORE AND MORE EVIDENCE

elsa: just dont tell anyone, alright?

elsa: i dont want the uneccesary attention

simonsays: bobby, we have to keep a prince a secret

simonsays: when did we become a part of a jk rowling book

injusticewetrust: IF THIS IS JK ROWLING ONE OF US IS GAY

simonsays: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ALL OF US ARE GAY IF ITS ROWLING

injusticewetrust: i mean you arent wrong

simonsays: what

injusticewetrust: what

simonsays: um

simonsays: okay okay okay

simonsays: can we get back to nahyuta being A PRINCE

elsa: please dont make it weird

elsa: anyway, my sister, being the princess, and the only heir to the throne has to stay in khura'in

simonsays: so its a women-only thing?

elsa: correct

elsa: thats why me and my father can leave the country freely

simonsays: and the current queen?

elsa: my aunt

elsa: my mother's sister. she is taking care of my sister.

elsa: and before you ask

elsa: my mother... is gone... my aunt is in charge until rayfa is old enough to rule.

simonsays: i see....

simonsays: so

simonsays: your sister is too young to rule?

elsa: shes only 14

elsa: and a man cannot be in charge of khura'in. not without a queen.

injusticewetrust: THATS SEXIST

simonsays: ...

elsa: ...

injusticewetrust: sorry... i wanted to contribute somehow...

elsa: well, fair

elsa: khura'in runs on ancient customs

elsa: we pride ourselves in staying true to old rules

elsa: and women being the only true rulers, is one of them

simonsays: so being prince of khura'in isnt as magical as it sounds?

elsa: sadly, yes

elsa: my sister is way more important

simonsays: damn ... sucks man

elsa: not really

elsa: im still royalty, after all ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

simonsays: so is your father, like, king?

elsa: not anymore

elsa: only the queen matters

elsa: and when my mother... left, rayfa became the most important relitive

elsa: me and my father became merely... the branch family

elsa: my aunt's husband is the king

injusticewetrust: THIS IS SOME GAME OF THRONES LEVEL SHIT

elsa: its just a cultural gap

elsa: its not as great as it sounds

elsa: but you know, even if rayfa comes over...

elsa: i might still find time to hang out with you two

simonsays: did you mention your sister coming over just to do the prince reveal???

elsa: perhaps ;)

elsa: youll never know ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

injusticewetrust: HES A SLIMY PRINCE

simonsays: SLIMY SLIMY PRINCE

 

Groupchat: Student Council

Members: 9

Description: Official Student Council Group – To Be Used ONLY For Important Work

 

Members:

*Manfred Von Karma (Professor Von Karma)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

*Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

*Franziska Von Karma (Franziska)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Thursday, 12:20 AM

 

Professor Von Karma: The club display is about to begin.

Professor Von Karma: I would like all of you to keep your respective years in order.

Professor Von Karma: Understood?

childofmagic: yes professor

childofmagic: i just have one question

Professor Von Karma: What is it?

childofmagic: can we still look at some of the clubs?

Professor Von Karma: Of course.

Professor Von Karma: As long as you're ensruing order, you may take part in any of the activities that the other students are participating in.

childofmagic: alright

childofmagic: thank you

Professor Von Karma: It's best you all start heading down now.

Professor Von Karma: Ask your teachers for permission first.

Professor Von Karma: We will begin preparations.

injusticewetrust: loud and clear mr. von karma!

elsa: we will make our way down now.

pinecone: were on our way, too!

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Thurday, 12:45 AM

 

pianoman: thanks again for helping me out with the band

pianoman: well, technically its music club

pianoman: but everyone knows its just the band

imfine: no problem

imfine: but its looking grim

imfine: most people showing up only play classical instruments... only a few have anything relating to rock music

pianoman: so?

pianoman: music is still music, herr forehead :)

pianoman: besides, blending styles is refreshing and most of the time is a hit

pianoman: you know when the chieftains blended their style with chinese style music?

imfine: no idea who that is

imfine: but whatever you say piano man

imfine: ...but, rock with classical?

pianoman: could turn out better than you think

pianoman: wont know until we try

imfine: yeah, you keep using that word, 'we'

imfine: i dont remember ever agreeing to helping you from a band?

pianoman: i dont remember you saying no ;)

imfine: ...

imfine: smooth, german boy

imfine: i guess i have nothing better to do

imfine: but dont expect me to play anything

imfine: i can do managment

pianoman: oh dont worry

pianoman: you dont have to play anything :)

imfine: great

imfine: wait

imfine: why are you smirking like that

pianoman: oh, no reason

pianoman: hey, whats your sister doing talking to kristoph?

imfine: probably trying to break their clique up

imfine: she is supposed to make sure everyone is trying out clubs, and not just standing around

imfine: god, shes gonna get hurt

imfine: im gonna go over

pianoman: uh, yeah about that

pianoman: i think its a little late

imfine: did she

imfine: did she just slap him

pianoman: yep

pianoman: oh hes pissed

imfine: he just

imfine: walked away

pianoman: what kind of demon is your sister

imfine: the worst

pianoman: well, she just slapped the devil and got away with it

pianoman: so then perhaps shes an angel

imfine: at times. yeah. she is an angel of sorts.

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Thursday, 12:46 AM

 

childofmagic: i just slapped kristoph gavin

childofmagic: IVE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE

imfine: you psycho

imfine: he could have hurt you

childofmagic: im a magician !!!

childofmagic: i always anticipate getting hurt !!!

childofmagic: its the thrill of the proffesion polly !!!

imfine: and this, is why im the only non-magician in our family

imfine: anyway, i need to keep taking care of the gaviners, so stay out of trouble

sunshines: since when does polly help run the gaviners?

spaceboy: his boyfriend asked him to

imfine:BOYFRIEND?

spaceboy: sorry

spaceboy: friend with benefits

imfine: CLAY

spaceboy: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Crescend (rockboi)

 

Thursday, 12:46 AM

 

rockboi: HHAHAHAHA

rockboi: BITCH JUST GOT HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM BY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD

nailpolishpoison: thin ice drayan

battleangel: didnt even fight back?

nailpolishpoison: what?

nailpolishpoison: was i supposed to hit a child?

kicknamestakeass: PUSSSYYYYY

nailpolishpoison: ENGARDE

kicknamestakeass: thats my name, dont go forgetting it

kicknamestakeass: uh why are you walking over all menecing like

kicknamestakeass: KRISTOPHGETAWYDGGDHB

 

Groupchat: art club

Members: 4

Description: for all your art club needs

 

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Robin Newman (robinbanks)

 

Thursday, 12:56 AM

 

tumblrartist: wow you guys... im so happy...

tumblrartist: i didnt know this many people were interested in art...

irishgay: dont pass out, vera

irishgay: lets add the new members, huh?

 

_irishgay added thegoodtwin, reginageorge and thebutz._

 

thebutz: hello ladiessss ;)

tumblrartist: hi!

tumblrartist: welcome to the art club groupchat!

reginageorge: yay! im so happy to be here vera! :)

tumblrartist: is your name....

tumblrartist: a mean girls refrence?

reginageorge: hm .... :/

reginageorge: i think so? :I

reginageorge: maxie said that it will be a nice name! :D

pinecone: maxie?

irishgay: i think she means max from junior year

irishgay: your boyfriend, right?

reginageorge: yes! yes! ^-^

reginageorge: i wanna learn to draw and make him something nice! :DDDD

irishgay: well youve come to the right place regina!

irishgay: larry, you can already draw, right?

thebutz: YEPPPP

irishgay: well, you can help me and vera teach regina!

thebutz: gladlyyyy ;)

robinbanks: NO WAYYY MANNNN

robinbanks: LARRY IS LIKE THE ONLY GUY IN THE ART CLUBBBB

thebutz: 0,0

thebutz: arent you a dude???

robinbanks: RUDEEEEE

robinbanks: IM THE GIRLIEST GIRL MANNNN

irishgay: larry, can i ask you something?

thebutz: yeah?

irishgay: you and feenie are friends, right?

thebutz: oh yeaahhhh

thebutz: well, used to be

thebutz: me, him and edgy were like thissss

thebutz: but then we drifted apart

irishgay: hm... i see.... well, anyway

irishgay: come up to the art room and lets get things set up for tommorow

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if anyone can guess what Klavier's plan for Polly is?


	11. yeehaw and hawyee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> glados: all right you little shits listen up
> 
> mamametis: aura !!!
> 
> mamametis: were not supposed to swear around the students !!!
> 
> glados: shit youre right
> 
> glados: i mean
> 
> glados: fuck

Groupchat: science, bitch

Members: 7

Description: the science club, or at least, something close to it

 

*Metis Cykes (mamametis)

*Aura Blackquill (glados)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Ema Skye (skyence)

*Lisa Basil (ghostintheshell)

 

Thursday, 1:01 PM

 

glados: all right you little shits listen up

mamametis: aura !!!

mamametis: were not supposed to swear around the students !!!

glados: shit youre right

glados: i mean

glados: fuck

skyence: screenshotted

skyence: class blackmail material

sunshines: hnnnf do i have to be here

mamametis: youre going to stay in this club until we have enough genuine members !!!

mamametis: not enough people interested in science these days...

mamametis: hey, who here is interested in science, anyway?

skyence: science is the only thing keeping me from ending it all

simonsays: ...oof

ghostintheshell: i am interested in all sorts of things, science being one of them

ghostintheshell: i am also looking to raise my score at the end of the year

ghostintheshell: improving in science, while also joining a club, is exactly what i need

glados: so not interested per se... thats fine...

sunshines: mom... you made me join...

mamametis: you might get an interest in science !!!

simonsays: ive been also forced to join by my guardian

glados: shut yo ass up or ill beat yo ass up

skyence: there are two types of people

skyence: well... bobby?

injusticewetrust: hmmmm

injusticewetrust: well, i dont want to disapoint you ms. cykes

injusticewetrust: but im only here to support simon

simonsays: he wouldnt go away

simonsays: i didnt make him

injusticewetrust: supporting friends is imporant !!!

injusticewetrust: plus, id love to learn more about science !!!

skyence: too pure for this world, bobby

simonsays: hey kid, who are you, anyway?

skyence: ema skye

skyence: the baddest bitch on the block

mamametis: NO SWEARING !!!

glados: nice one kid

glados: i like you

 

Groupchat: the gaviners reborn

Members: 2

Description: the brand new and imrpoved gaviners !!!

 

*Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Thursday, 1:05 PM

 

pianoman: lets review

pianoman: we got a lot of canditates... but very few could actually play well...

pianoman: and only three played rock...

imfine: klav, no offense, but i dont think this will work

imfine: i mean, its great that youre trying this and all

imfine: but maybe its time to give up?

imfine: without engarde and daryan, even with the old members...

imfine: there just isnt enough rock players to keep the thing going

pianoman: you yourself said i should try

pianoman: and i dont plan on giving up

pianoman: not now

pianoman: okay, so theres only two rock players from last year... so what?

pianoman: remember what i said about blending styles?

pianoman: give me a list of all the intrsument players and good singers

imfine: theres the people from the band before it fell apart:

>You, Electric Guitar and Vocals

>Jake Marshall, Drums

>Neill Marshall, Acoustic Guitar

imfine: and here is everyone who showed up wanting to join:

>Maya Fey, Flute

>Mia Fey, Flute

>April May, Ukulele

>Maggey Byrde, Triangle

>Franziska Von Karma, Violin

>Celeste Inpax, Viola and Double Bass

>Desiree DeLite, Trumpet

>Diego Armando, Saxophone (???) and Drums (allegedly)

>Viola Cadaverini, Harp

>Iris Fey, Flute (do all the feys play the flute???)

>Wocky Kitaki, Bass

>Machi Tobaye, Piano

>Juniper Woods, Vocals

>Trucy Enigmar, Harmonica

pianoman: see? thats a lot of candidates!

pianoman: i definetely want neil and jake back

pianoman: ill add them so they can help us

 

_pianoman added yeehaw and hawyee_

 

hawyee: yee haw

yeehaw: haw yee

imfine: oh no

yeehaw: oh yes

hawyee: are we getting the band back together?

pianoman: indeed we are

hawyee: apollo justice???

imfine: yep

pianoman: hes my right hand man

pianoman: he helped me set this whole thing up

hawyee: (watch out polly)

hawyee: (hes gay)

imfine: wh

pianoman: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS

imfine: i mean

imfine: its kinda obvious

pianoman: THIS IS WHY THE BAND FELL APART

yeehaw: i thought it was the abusive assholes who used you

pianoman: that too

imfine: oof

imfine: that was a big thing last summer, wasn't it?

pianoman: dont matter !

pianoman: neil, jake, scroll back up and look at the candidates

hawyee: maya wont do

hawyee: shes way too... maya

pianoman: dont know what that means, but sure, i trust you neil

yeehaw: hnnnnf mia fey

pianoman: ???

pianoman: shes taken

pianoman: and by a douchebag, too

yeehaw: i kno i kno

yeehaw: but like ??? mia ??? in a band ???

pianoman: yeah, she wouldnt do

pianoman: and if we dont let her diego will get a stick up his ass and wont join either

pianoman: so thats three down so far

hawyee: april may is insane... dont even consider her

pianoman: maggey byrde?

yeehaw: on a triangle? oh please

pianoman: desiree skips school a lot

pianoman: we cant risk a member like that

hawyee: no offence, but viola cadaverini scares the shit out of me

hawyee: plus, a harp?

pianoman: yeah, she isnt right

imfine: iris fey is in the art club

imfine: she probably wont have time to play

imfine: same as with desiree, we cant have members like that

pianoman: alright... trucy on the harmonica?

imfine: yeah about that

imfine: truce cant even play the harmonica...

imfine: she just said it because she wanted to get into the band

yeehaw: your sister is wild

hawyee: says who

yeehaw: says my brother???

hawyee: dear jake, your brother is insane

yeehaw: YOURE MY BROTHER

hawyee: NO SHIT

pianoman: so who do we have left?

imfine: so far its...

>You, Electric Guitar and Vocals

>Jake Marshall, Drums

>Neill Marshall, Acoustic Guitar

>Franziska Von Karma, Violin

>Celeste Inpax, Viola and Double Bass

>Wocky Kitaki, Bass

>Machi Tobaye, Piano

>Juniper Woods, Vocals

yeehaw: thats a lot of sodium

yeehaw: welll, wocky kitaki is a must

hawyee: celeste's inresuments just dont seem right

hawyee: plus, we have a lot of people

hawyee: franziska von karma signed up?

pianoman: yeah, i was shocked too

pianoman: maybe its because were a band hidden behind the 'music club'

yeehw: true true

yeehaw: i mean, violin could add a nice spin on everything

imfine: machi tobaye? isnt he blind?

pianoman: so is diego armando, but he can play the saxophone

pianoman: for some reason???

imfine: yeah, but diego wears that mask thats let him see

imfine: machi is like...

imfine: legally blind

pianoman: VINES

yeehaw: YEE HAW YEE HAW

hawyee: HAW YEE HAW YEE

imfine: the marshall brother chants

pianoman: machi can play

pianoman: and i mean play

pianoman: the kind of talent you cant see in most adults

pianoman: as for vocals, we dont need juniper

pianoman: were fine as we are

imfine: but we only have one vocalist

pianoman: its fine, dont worry about it

pianoman: i have a plan :)))

yeehaw: alright, lets add the squad then

hawyee: woooo

 

_pianoman added Franziska, gangstafox and legallyblind_

 

yeehaw: welcome to the cult

yeehaw: you have been accepted

hawyee: JAKE HIS NAME IS LEGALLY BLIND

yeehaw: AAAAAAAAA

legallyblind: vines are my life force

yeehaw: can we keep him

Franziska: Hello

Franziska: Thank you for considering having me in the band...

Franziska: I know my instrument doesn't exactly fit your style...

Franziska: But I hope I can be of use.

pianoman: oh, so you know its a band

pianoman: you know, i was so impressed by your playing

pianoman: when did you start?

Franziska: I believe I was five.

Franziska: I had a private tutor for a few years, but then it became a minor hobby after a while.

Franziska: I want to take this opportunity to continue playing.

gangstafox: BIZZOYYYY

gangstafox: SUP HOMIES

gangstafox: MY GS IM SO HAPPY YOU ACCEPTED ME

gangstafox: I TRIED FOR THE BAND LAST YEAR BUT GOT LIKE

gangstafox: TOTALLY REJECTED, DUDES

imfine: i think i can see why...

legallyblind: sorry to interrupt, but i notice... something

legallyblind: this is... rock band, yes ?

legallyblind: why classical instrument?

pianoman: i want to try and mix styles this year

legallyblind: i see

legallyblind: apollo justice?

imfine: im just... a manager, you could say

imfine: dont treat me as a part of the band. i cant do anything.

legallyblind: ah

pianoman: come up to the music room and lets set things up for tommorow, ja?

Franziska: Sounds good.

yeehaw: hell yee

hawyee: hell haw

legallyblind: ill go there soon

gangstafox: omw homies

 

Groupchat: debate club

Members: 10

Description: the debate club... because we like to argue... professionally.

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Franziska Von Karma (Franziska)

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Thursday, 1:13 PM

 

boobitch: HELLOOOO DEBATE CLUB

simonsays: its too early for this shit

gobo: how dare you say that to my girlfriend

simonsays: ???

simonsays: overprotective boyfriend alert

gobo: at least she has a boyfriend

nicknackpattywack: OOF

boobitch: im so happy that so many people wanted to join

boobitch: i might cry

nicknackpattywack: youre THAT happy?

boobitch: no im just depressed

Miles: When will club meetings take place?

boobitch: every monday after school in room 7

Miles: Alright

boobitch: i think there were a few more people who wanted to join

gobo: there were

gobo: i texted you their names

boobitch: ahhhh why is there so many

nicknackpattywack: theres more????

boobitch: yee yee

boobitch: look

 

_boobitch added nailpolishpoison, floof, debesteboy, hawyee, and lanalane._

 

nicknackpattywack: THERES SO MANY OF THEM

sunshines: a lot of people want to argue proffesionaly

pianoman: kristoph...

nailpolishpoison: hello little brother :)

boobitch: the school made me accept everyone...

pianoman: the music club doesnt have to do that?

boobitch: well we do

nailpolishpoison: aw. ms fey and mr. armando not happy to have me in their little club?

boobitch: mr. gavin, with all due respect

boobitch: shut yo ass up and let me and my boyfriend run our club in peace

nailpolishpoison: whatever you say~

gobo: squiggly line

gobo: thats some gay shit

simonsays: (he is some gay shit)

gobo: (says simon blackquill)

simonsays: (no shame and you get game)

gobo: (says the man whos all shame and no game)

simonsays: (fair)

lanalane: hello mia

boobich: hi lanaaaaa :3

gobo: oh no the lesbians are at it again

lanalane: jelous?

lanalane: im about to be ms steal yo girl over here

gobo: please dont

gobo: all ill have left is spikey and i cant deal with that

nicknackpattywack: wHaT hAvE i EvEr DoNe To YoU

gobo: YOU POURED WATER ON MY HEAD LAST YEAR

nicknackpattywack: I DIDNT KNOW YOUR MASK WOULD BREAK

gobo: WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN WHEN YOU POURED WATER ON AN ELECTRONIC MASK YOU TWIT

nicknackpattywack: IM SORRY

floof: miles miles miles miles hey miles miles miles miles

Miles: Ray, please

floof: were in debateeee clubbbb

Miles: Yes. I noticed when I joined it.

floof: togetherrrrr

boobitch: you guys know each other?

floof: yeah but edgy wont admit ittttt

floof: we were tight last year, ye?

Miles: You have Kay now, don't you?

floof: yeah but listen to this:

floof: ray kay and miles

boobitch: ray and kay has a better ring to it

boobitch: maybe you dont need miles?

floof: but kay is annoying >:(

debesteboy: HEEEYYYYY

debesteboy: what about me? :(

debesteboy: i thought i was in on the squad..

floof: oh yeh

floof: you too, sebastian

debesteboy: :)))))

boobitch: this is becoming a mess fastttt

boobitch: we gotta set everything up in room 7 so if yall wanna come up

imfine: yeah you see

pianoman: were taking care of the music club

Franziska: Me too.

Miles: Music club?

Franziska: PC Later

boobitch: tea

boobitch: okay so everyone who can come up

boobitch: who cant just dont its fine

boobitch: we have a lot of people

 

Private Chat Between Franziska Von Karma (Franziska) And Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

 

Thursday, 1: 15 PM

 

Miles: So, you decided to join the band?

Franziska: yes

Miles: Hm

Miles: Is there a reason?

Franziska: extracurricular activities can raise my grades

Miles: Is that so?

Miles: Or is this related to your 'crush'?

Franziska: no

Franziska: its not

Miles: Really?

Franziska: even if it is, what's the difference?

Franziska: am i not allowed to be a teenager?

Miles: No

Miles: You are a Von Karma.

Miles: What you are allowed is perfection and perfection only.

Franziska: oh really

Franziska: whats with you and the von karma creed anyway?

Franziska: you didnt even take on our name when you were adopted

Franziska: why do you care so much?

Franziska: its not like you were worked like a slave from the moment you were born

Franziska: you missed out on the worst part

Franziska: you missed out on the lack of childhood

Franziska: you think you can go around teaching me whats right and whats wrong?

Miles: Whether I carry the name or not, I am still from the same house.

Franziska: bullshit!

Franziska: just let me live

Franziska: and stop telling everyone im your sister

Franziska: were not related

Franziska: you know nothing about me

Franziska: i hate you

Franziska: ever since you came to our house its all been worse

Franziska: stop pretending like you care about me

Franziska: go to hell

 

Thursday, 1:22 PM

 

Franziska: I'm sorry

Franziska: I didn't mean any of that

Miles: I know you didn't

Miles: I won't tell father anything

Franziska: Why not?

Franziska: I thought you were all about the 'perfect' Von Karma creed.

Miles: Don't start this again.

Franziska: Sorry

Miles: Look. Whatever you say you are my sister.

Miles: It's not like I like this. But if you don't follow these rules _he_ will care. And I don't want you to get hurt, alright?

Franziska: I know.

Franziska: I know that's what it is.

Franziska: I'm sorry.

Miles: It's fine.

Miles: Oh, and if you want to meet up with her this weekend... I can cover for you.

Franziska: really?

Miles: Yes. Really.

Franziska: thank you

Franziska: brother.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all I have for the binge-post...
> 
> Idk if I will update this. Depends on how it's received. 
> 
> I want to apologize to the fandom for this sin. I truly am sorry.


	12. big orange power man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gobo: I DID IT TO GANT
> 
> boobitch: WHAT
> 
> gobo: THE BIG ORANGE POWER MAN IS AFTER ME
> 
> boobitch: hes as good as dead
> 
> nicknackpattywack: double rip

Groupchat: ray, kay & miles (oh, and sebastian...)

Members: 4

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

 

Thursday, 1:23 PM

 

floof: come on edgyyyy

Miles: Is it that hard for you to understand, Ray?

Miles: You and me – That's the past.

Miles: Now leave me alone.

_Miles left the group._

 

floof: ah fuck this

stealyoshitgirl: whats the tea ray

floof: you dont know?

floof: me and him were best friends when we were little

floof: our dads worked together

debesteboy: so what happened?

floof: a few years before highschool something happened, and he left

floof: and when he came back, he wasnt the same

stealyoshitgirl: it had to be that murder, right?

floof: ???

stealyoshitgirl: the murder after the earthquake?

stealyoshitgirl: his father died in that

floof: oh

floof: OH SHIT

stealyoshitgirl: yep

stealyoshitgirl: his name was gregory, right?

debesteboy: my father told me about that...

debesteboy: so i guess miles just isnt the same anymore, huh?

floof: no no no

floof: deep inside hes the miles i knew

floof: im sure of it

floof: we just gotta draw it out of him...

stealyoshitgirl: OPERATION FIX THE EDGY

floof: HELL YEAH

debesteboy: we could work on the name...

debesteboy: BUT YEAH LETS DO IT

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Thursday, 1:45 PM

 

boobitch: no one panic

boobitch: but you know the thing where people go up to their teachers and call them by their name

boobitch: me and diego may or may not have done that

boobitch: and diego may or may not be hididng in the bathrooms from von douchebag

nicknackpattywack: oh my god

burgerqueen: why von douche tho????

gobo: BAMFRUD

boobitch: Banfrud Bon Barma

gobo: mia stop this isnt funny

gobo: im shaking

boobitch: lmao

burgerqueen: wait whats his real name?

boobitch: manfred but diego cant spell it right cuz hes shaking so much

gobo: HES HERE

gobo: I CAN HEAR HIM

gobo: HE JUST CAME IN Hwgd

nicknackpattywack: rip

boobitch: i went to aura and metis, who were cool with it

boobitch: but this idiot just had to go for the big leagues

gobo: im alive

gobo: i can still hear his cane outside

nicknackpattywack: F diego we never liked you anyway

gobo: >:(

boobitch: i also considered gant but then i remembered he is a big orange power man and he can beat the shit out of us

gobo: true

gobo: at least von karma is old and slow

gobo: but im like 90% i saw him carrying around a stun gun

gobo: so im scared

burgerqueen: is that even legal ???

gobo: who knows

nicknackpattywack: he looks like one of those homophobic boomers

burgerqueen: lets be honest he IS a homophobic boomer

gravyravy: isnt he gay???

boobitch: since when??????

gravyravy: since someone said that

gravyravy: idk

burgerqueen: then how did he have franziska????

burgerqueen: also she said she lived in germany with her MOTHER

gravyravy: so perhaps i am wrong

nicknackpattywack: hm

nicknackpattywack: why not bi

boobitch: O

boobitch: im pretty sure gays were invented last year and hes like 10000 years old tho

nicknackpattywack: lol true

boobitch: diego youre being awfully quiet for the little bitch that you are

gobo: I DID IT TO GANT

boobitch: WHAT

gobo: THE BIG ORANGE POWER MAN IS AFTER ME

boobitch: hes as good as dead

nicknackpattywack: double rip

 

Private Chat Between Franziska Von Karma (Franziska) And Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

Thursday, 2:02 PM

 

Franziska: maya?

burgerqueen: oh. franzy. whatsup?

Franziska: i had a lot of fun when we met up

Franziska: i was wondering if you wanted to do it again?

burgerqueen: hm

burgerqueen: yeah, sure!

burgerqueen: when?

Franziska: i was thinking... this weekend, maybe?

burgerqueen: oh

burgerqueen: im going to a sleepover

burgerqueen: stayin there all weekend i believe

Franziska: oh...

Franziska: thats... fine...

burgerqueen: no!

burgerqueen: wait

burgerqueen: the sleepover is like a new friend group thing

burgerqueen: im sure you can still join us!

burgerqueen: if you would like

Franziska: would that be okay?

burgerqueen: yeah!

burgerqueen: ill just ask the group. give me one second, okie?

Franziska: alright

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 11

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Thursday, 2:13 PM

 

burgerqueen: yall got one more spot for the sleepover

childofmagic: well, we DO live in a mansion.

childofmagic: who do you want to invite?

burgerqueen: franzy

sunshines: i ship it

gobo: maya is making moves mia are you seeing this

boobitch: oh, you got out of being lectured by von douche and orange man

gobo: ye lol

boobitch: pc

burgerqueen: so? can she come?

childofmagic: i guessssss polly what do you think?

imfine: no objections from me

childofmagic: oh! and ill add her to the group!

 

_childofmagic added Franziska._

 

Franziska: um

burgerqueen: hi franzy! this is the group of friends going to the sleepover!

burgerqueen: we decided to add you... uh...

burgerqueen: welcome to our friend group!

Franziska: he he

Franziska: im glad to be here

sunshines: hee hee

spaceboy: didnt remove any chocolate i just added vanilla

sunshines: is that an erb quote?

spaceboy: it is indeed

spaceboy: im surprised you got that

Franziska: um

Franziska: so...

burgerqueen: oh right!

burgerqueen: so the sleepover is at trucy's

burgerqueen: i can walk you there after school

burgerqueen: and were staying there from friday until sunday evening

Franziska: is it okay if i leave on saturday?

burgerqueen: sure

burgerqueen: whatever is good for you

burgerqueen: so, youre coming?

Franziska: ha ha, yeah!

burgerqueen: nice!

burgerqueen: hey, you can come sit us at lunch whenever you want, too

pianoman: its a shame to see fräuleins like you sitting with your brother and stuck up father

Franziska: is it really that obvious i dont like it?

pianoman: i also hate my bro and dad, so i kno how you feel

sunshines: (tea)

Franziska: its not like i hate them

Franziska: still, i wont be allowed, probably

Franziska: but ill come to the sleepover

boobitch: hey franziska

boobitch: you should change your username

Franziska: ?

gravyravy: yeah!

gravyravy: you dont have to use your name like that!

gravyravy: use a username like us!

Franziska: um..

Franziska: ok

Franziska: give me a minute

gravyravy: yay

gravyravy: we have converted someone he he

gobo: well this is a twist

gobo: twisty twist

pinecone: detective pikachu?

gobo: perhaps

littlemissperfect: hows this?

burgerqueen: wow !!! i love it !!!

littlemissperfect: ha ha

littlemissperfect: thank you, everyone

littlemissperfect: i cant wait for the sleepover!

 

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Mia Fey (boobitch)

 

Thursday, 2: 30 PM

 

boobitch: did they let you out yet?

gobo: yeah but i have to wait for my mom

gobo: she has to speak with the principal

boobitch: mr. judge huh?

gobo: he grilled me the least

gobo: lets be honest he is the nicest teacher around

boobitch: yeah

boobitch: actually, i wanted to say something

boobitch: you know i say all those things... like i hate you or whatever

boobitch: you know those are jokes, ye?

gobo: obvi

boobitch: i love youuuuu

boobitch: not as much as i love wendys tho

boobitch: but still love you

gobo:ha ha

boobitch: jk

boobitch: i love you more than anything

boobitch: ok?

gobo: roger

boobitch: you seem kinda out of it lately

boobitch: others didnt notice

boobitch: but i did

boobitch: is something wrong?

gobo: kind of

gobo: so i had the usual checkup two days ago

boobitch: is something wrong?

gobo: the doc says my eyes are getting worse

boobitch: what???

boobitch: but he said they were getting better last month!

gobo: yeah, but something changed

boobitch: uh

boobitch: ok

boobitch: what about everything else?

gobo: no improvements

gobo: im

gobo: im scared

gobo: a little

boobitch: no need to do tough guy around me

boobitch: i know what you really are like

gobo: fine

gobo: im horrified

gobo: because i dont want to get worse

gobo: just when i thought i was getting better, its all going downhill again

gobo: what if the mask isnt enough anymore?

boobitch: itll be fine

boobitch: the same thing happened last year

boobitch: things 'got worse' but then they got better again

gobo: yeah, but what if its not like that this time?

gobo: what if this time i go blind for good?

gobo: what if i get a coughing fit so bad i choke?

gobo: what if i have to be put in a hospital for weeks again?

boobitch: come on, dont say that

boobitch: you havent been hospitalized like that since last year

gobo: im just... scared, okay?

gobo: im scared ill go into a coma again

gobo: and ill loose contact with you, just like i did with simon

boobitch: right

boobitch: i forgot about you and keyes

gobo: we nerver talked again

boobitch: okay, one thing at a time

boobitch: how bad are things this time?

gobo: i need some operation apparently

gobo: but i dont know if my mom can afford it

gobo: and i dont want her to be weighed down by me again

gobo: she still hasnt payed off the debt from even keeping me alive after that accident

gobo: im just a bother for everyone

gobo: for her, for you, for our friends, for the school

gobo: would have been better for everyone if i just died in that car

boobitch: dont say that!

gobo: my dad didnt make it, the other driver didnt make it

gobo: so why did i?

boobitch: because thats life

boobitch: we dont choose what happens

boobitch: we just play with the cards were dealt

boobitch: now listen up you beautiful bastard

boobitch: first off, youll get better

boobitch: second off, we all love you

boobitch: everyone needs a mean guy like you in a group

boobitch: we all know you care deep inside

boobitch: and third, most important thing

boobitch: if you died, i would have never met you

boobitch: and i would have never gotten over... that...

gobo: i guess youre right

gobo: im just being dramatic tbh

boobitch: dont say that

boobitch: you know, i think it would be better if you told everyone

boobitch: about the accident

boobitch: about whats wrong with you

boobitch: about keyes

boobitch: everything

boobitch: if you tell more people youll feel better

gobo: maybe youre right

gobo: ill consider it

boobitch: you better

gobo: well my moms here

gobo: time to get grilled again

gobo: see you on the flipside

gobo: oh and i love you

gobo: i love you like so much

boobitch: just go, romeo

gobo: ;)

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Thursday, 3:32 PM

 

pianoman: hey

pianoman: herr forehead

imfine: whats up?

pianoman: i

pianoman: i

pianoman: can i come over to your house?

imfine: now?

imfine: what about the sleepover tmrw?

pianoman: yeah

pianoman: i

pianoman: can i just

imfine: klavier, did something happen?

pianoman: yes

pianoman: yes something did

pianoman: and i

pianoman: i need a place to stay

pianoman: please

pianoman: can i just come early?

imfine: what happened?

pianoman: ill tell you once im there

pianoman: can i just stay the night? and then stay the weekend?

imfine: i

imfine: fine

imfine: yeah

imfine: okay

imfine: ill just have to tell my mom. give me five seconds.

pianoman: thank you

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Thalassa Gramarye-Enigmar (lmaoir)

 

Thursday, 3:33 PM

 

imfine: hey mom

lmaoir: polly?

lmaoir: were in the middle of practice

lmaoir: is something wrong?

imfine: can uh

imfine: can my friend come over for the night

lmaoir: but

lmaoir: what about tmrw ?

lmaoir: arent your friends coming over?

imfine: yeah but

imfine: uh

imfine: how do i put this

imfine: he has it

imfine: rough at home, and needs a place to stay

lmaoir: well

lmaoir: you should have said that straight away

imfine: yeah i guess

imfine: thanks so much

lmaoir: its the right thing to do

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Thursday, 3:32 PM

 

imfine: you can come

pianoman: thank you

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some slight angst here... But I feel like some Klapollo is just around the corner, don't you?


	13. royal snacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dancingqueen: WHY ARE YOU RUNNING THE OTHER WAY
> 
> datzausername: THE ROYAL GUARD IS AFTER ME
> 
> dancingqueen: WHAT DID YOU DO
> 
> datzausername: I RAN INTO THE PALACE SCREAMING ABOUT THE ROYAL SNACKS
> 
> dancingqueen: JUST LET THEM ARREST YOU ILL HAVE YOU RELEASED
> 
> datzausername: I DONT TRUST YOU CROISSANT HEAD

 

Groupchat: best parents

Members: 7

Description: groupchat for the best of parents (the kind that are loved 3000 ONLY)

 

*Dhurke Sahdmadhi (daenerys)

*Metis Cykes (mamametis)

*Misty Fey (stabbedthroughtheheart)

*Thalassa Gramarye-Enigmar (lmaoir)

*Shadi Enigmar (shadiaf)

*Byrne Faraday (ihopethatyoubyrne)

*Drew Misham (davinci)

 

Thursday, 3:42 PM

 

daenerys: he he he

mamametis: oh no

mamametis: what have you done

daenerys: ha ha ha

stabbedthroughtheheart: why???

ihopethatyoubyrne: what is your username???

stabbedthroughtheheart: its a song i like

ihopethatyoubyrne: but it says “shot” not “stabbed”

stabbedthroughtheheart: well, i identify with stabbing more

shadiaf: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

lmaoir: AND YOURE TO BLAME

ihopethatyoubyrne: YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME

davinci: this was a mistake

davinci: why did you do this dhurke

daenerys: because nahyuta sepcifically told me not to

stabbedthroughtheheart: this is lacking some people...

daenerys: well, it is the BEST parents only, after all

daenerys: whoever didnt make it just aint good enough ;)

lmaoir: for the old and out of touch parents, there is a surprisingly large amount of pop culture references in this chat

ihopethatyoubyrne: kay made me have this name

ihopethatyoubyrne: apparently she loves hamilton

daenerys: endgame was a good movie what can i say

lmaoir: the description tho???

mamametis: wow

mamametis: you didnt strike me as a marvel fan

mamametis: but what _is_ the point of this???

daenerys: just so i can say

daenerys: my son is better than yours

 

_daenerys left._

 

lmaoir: oh hecks naw he aint getting away with that

 

_lmaoir added daenerys._

 

lmaoir: actually, mr ex-king

lmaoir: my son is so much better

lmaoir: he can sing like an angel

daenerys: well, my son got on student council, and its his first year here

lmaoir: well my son helped started a band!

daenerys: my son has a literal floating scarf

lmaoir: my son has horns???

shadiaf: tessa youre forgetting to say our son***

ihopethatyoubyrne: (soviet anthemn begins playing in the distance)

lmaoir: stfu magic boy dont get involved

shadiaf: alakazam stop being a ham

lmaoir: ???

shadiaf: idk i was trying to be like valant

daenerys: well, whatever, my daughter cant be beat

ihopethatyoubyrne: OH YOUVE DONE IT NOW

ihopethatyoubyrne: IS YOUR DAUGHTER THE MOST PURE AND ADORABLE THING ON THIS EARTH??? IS SHE ALSO FUNNY AND forsomereasonstealspeoplesocks????

daenerys: she is adorable and pure and to add to that, she is a great dancer

shadiaf: is your daughter a great magician? didnt think so

shadiaf: my daughter can wow a whole crowd

lmaoir: our daughter***

ihopethatyoubyrne: (sovietunionanthemn.mp4)

daenerys: who needs fake stage magic, when you can have have real magic !!!

daenerys: my daughter is practicing so she can channel spirits !!!

stabbedthroughtheheart: hahahahahahhaha

stabbedthroughtheheart: both of my daughters can already do that

daenerys: hmph

daenerys: well, my daughter is incredibly talented

davinci: well, you see...

davinci: must i say?

daenerys: you win this one

daenerys: BUT

daenerys: YALL CANT BEAT THIS

daenerys: MY DAUGHTER IS A LITERAL PRINCESS

mamametis: my daughter is a princess in my eyes

daenerys: you know what

daenerys: metis wins i cant fight such pureness

daenerys: but my son still best son heheheheh

lmaoir: OH YOU LITTLE

 

Groupchat: datz a groupchat

Members: 4

Description: 50% in america and 50% in khura'in

 

*Dhurke Sahdmadhi (daenerys)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Datz Are'bal (datzausername)

 

Thursday, 3:45 PM

 

daenerys: (screenshot.jpg)

daenerys: (screenshot.jpg)

daenerys: (screenshot.jpg)

daenerys: (screenshot.jpg)

daenerys: (screenshot.jpg)

daenerys: did i make you proud my children

elsa: why

elsa: father why

daenerys: because this is what i was born to do

dancingqueen: hmph

dancingqueen: id say we should be happy

dancingqueen: you truly fought viciously for my honour

dancingqueen: thank you, father

daenerys: see !!!

daenerys: rayfa loves me !!!

daenerys: rayfa youre my favorite child

dancingqueen: ha ha

elsa: i hate this fucking family

datzausername: datz a vine

elsa: im aware

elsa: which 'datz' joke this week is this?

daenerys: the 267th

daenerys: ive been counting

datzausername: datz just me

daenerys: 268

daenerys: please stop

daenerys: i beg

datzausername: okeeey :(

dancingqueen: evil man !!!

dancingqueen: have you packed for tommorow yet?

datzausername: uh

datzausername: (perhaps.jpg)

dancingqueen: what is that cow doing ???

dancingqueen: it looks like its in pain !!!

dancingqueen: where is it ???

dancingqueen: I MUST FIND THIS COW !!!

elsa: rayfa

elsa: relax

elsa: its a meme

dancingqueen: a meme ???

dancingqueen: is thats some weird american thing ???

dancingqueen: ill get nayna to explain this 'meme'

dancingqueen: i shall return shortly

elsa: oh no

datzausername: your sister is as good as dead

datzausername: knowing nayna she will sit her down and spend two days explaining the 'e'

datzausername: say goodbye

daenerys: breaking news: the next queen of khurain disappears for years to study memes

daenerys: returns a different woman

elsa: shes literally your daughter are you not a tad bit worried?

daenerys: memes aside

daenerys: datz if u miss the plane

daenerys: i will end you

datzausername: why do i have to be rayfas bodyguard tho

daenerys: because i want you to come over as well !!!

datzausername: O

datzausername: thats gay

elsa: mdhfjfn

elsa: datz NO

datzausername: datz a joke yuty relax

daenerys: 269

datzausername: ha ha 69

dancingqueen: MY GOD

dancingqueen: MEMES

elsa: there it is

dancingqueen: HOW HAVE I NOT BEEN AWARE OF THIS

dancingqueen: DATZ, COME OVER TO THE PALACE, NOW

dancingqueen: WERE GOING ON REDDIT

datzausername: why is it ME thats always doing things for you ??? like what about garan or inga??? do you not have like.... royal friends????

daenerys: i literally asked you to take care of her while im in america

datzausername: true, but

datzausername: 'taking care of' is not 'being best and only friend of'

dancingqueen: DATZ

dancingqueen: GET OVER HERE

dancingqueen: IMMEDIATELY

dancingqueen: IT IS AN ORDER FROM THE PRINCESS!

datzausername: hgngnggn

datzausername: fine

datzausername: just let me get snacks

dancingqueen: IF YOU HURRY YOU MAY HAVE THE ROYAL SNACKS

datzausername: IM COMING

elsa: rayfa truly speaks datz's language

denerys: i want to see garan's reaction when he comes running into the palace

elsa: ha ha ha

dancingqueen: WHY ARE YOU RUNNING THE OTHER WAY

datzausername: THE ROYAL GUARD IS AFTER ME

dancingqueen: WHAT DID YOU DO

datzausername: I RAN INTO THE PALACE SCREAMING ABOUT THE ROYAL SNACKS

dancingqueen: JUST LET THEM ARREST YOU ILL HAVE YOU RELEASED

datzausername: I DONT TRUST YOU CROISSANT HEAD

elsa: holy mother give me strenght

daenerys: well now im glad were in america

elsa: same here

 

Private Chat Between Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic) And Apollo Jutsice (imfine)

 

Thursday, 4:00 PM

 

childofmagic: hey, why is klavier here?

imfine: uhchil

imfine: hes just here for a visit

imfine: dont mind him

childofmagic: you cant even lie through text

imfine: well, thats why im not a magician like all of you

childofmagic: so why is he here, really?

imfine: something happened, apparently

imfine: i dont know why yet, but i have a theory

imfine: he came in, all shaken up

imfine: and there was a bruise on his face

childofmagic: oh

childofmagic: oh no

imfine: yeah

imfine: mom is taking care of him

imfine: shes putting ice on it or something

imfine: she made me get a bed ready for him

childofmagic: hes staying the night?

imfine: yeah

imfine: hey, can you hear that?

childofmagic: yeah

childofmagic: is that

childofmagic: singing???

imfine: theyre singing together

childofmagic: huh

childofmagic: wow

childofmagic: what the hell

childofmagic: klavier's voice????

imfine: ikr????

childofmagic: he he

childofmagic: imma go take a peek

imfine: truce

childofmagic: theyre singing together

childofmagic: i think shes trying to cheer him up

imfine: thats good

imfine: ill try to find out what happened later

childofmagic: hey polly?

imfine: yes?

childofmagic: dont push him too hard okay?

childofmagic: he looks... really, really bad

imfine: ill keep that in mind

imfine: thanks truce

childofmagic: always

 

Groupchat: ray, kay & miles (oh, and sebastian...)

Members: 3

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

 

Thursday, 4:02 PM

 

_simon says changed group name to 'fixing the edgy'_

 

debesteboy: i thought we were going to work on the name???

floof: sh

floof: i have found new members for the operation

stealyoshitgirl: well, add them then!

stealyoshitgirl: we cant waste time on such an important heist !!!

floof: heist?

stealyoshitgirl: YES!

stealyoshitgirl: WE ARE STEALING EDGY'S EDGINESS !!!

stealyoshitgirl: AND THEN WE YEET IT INTO THE OCEAN !!!

floof: uh

floof: okey???

floof: kay you gotta chill

 

_floof added owo, littlemissperfect and suedeshoes_

 

owo: hi bitches

suedeshoes: ???

littlemissperfect: im sorry, who am i talking to?

floof: hihihihihihi

floof: its me ray

floof: from your class

littlemissperfect: oh right

owo: ????

owo: whats going on????

floof: hi lang

owo: evening *tips fedora*

suedeshoes: whats going on???

stealyoshitgirl: so we have an idea

stealyoshitgirl: to fix miles

littlemissperfect: 'fix' ???

stealyoshitgirl: yes yes

stealyoshitgirl: so we want to make him like he was again

suedeshoes: aw pal

suedeshoes: sorry to disapoint, but miles has been like that for years now

owo: yeh

owo: how do you plan on fixing that?

owo: lang zhi says

stealyoshitgirl: yeah okay lang we get it

stealyoshitgirl: you like deep shit

stealyoshitgirl: what im saying is, we have a plant

debesteboy: we do???

floof: oh????

stealyoshitgirl: well, i have a plant

stealyoshitgirl: there is a single thing that can bring out the best in people

owo: and that this?

stealyoshitgirl: loveeeeee

owo: wow ok

owo: miles would never love anyone

littlemissperfect: actually...

littlemissperfect: something about him has been weird lately

littlemissperfect: hes been acting weird

littlemissperfect: im not saying its anything, but

littlemissperfect: when i told him i liked someone, he supported me to go for it

littlemissperfect: but hes never done that before....

stealyoshitgirl: yes!

stealyoshitgirl: franziska, could i trust you to try and find out who it is?

littlemissperfect: if it helps my brother... then yes

littlemissperfect: ill try

owo: what are we all here for then

suedeshoes: yeah pal :(

stealyoshitgirl: you two are kinda close with miles

stealyoshitgirl: lang you sit next to him in his classes

stealyoshitgirl: and gummy you follow him around on breaks

suedeshoes: oh ye

owo: i spose

stealyoshitgirl: so you can also help to find out about the crush

stealyoshitgirl: or whatever it is...

stealyoshitgirl: and me, ray and sebastian well try to become friends with him

stealyoshitgirl: try to use that soft crush spot

littlemissperfect: thanks kay

stealyoshitgirl: he he

stealyoshitgirl: its jus what the great truth burglar does !!!

stealyoshitgirl: we will save miles, dont worry!

owo: hell yeah

owo: lang zhi says 'all cubs help other cubs save their fellow cubs'

stealyoshitgirl: lang

stealyoshitgirl: is that guy even real

owo: uh

 

_owo left_

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Thursday, 10:31 PM

 

imfine: dhhfghfgf

imfine: guys help

imfine: help heLP HELP

spaceboy: its kinda late polly

pinecone: is something happening?

childofmagic: are you and klavier not asleep yet?

sunshines: wait, you and klavier?

childofmagic: something happened and he came over

childofmagic: hes staying the night and the weekend

sunshines: did something happen?

imfine: he told me but i dont want to say

imfine: BUT

imfine: theres something that i can say

imfine: and i have to say

imfine: im not sure what to do

spaceboy: sounds gay

imfine: well, funny you say that

imfine: let me explain

imfine: so you know how i helped him set up the band?

pinecone: yes, but you werent a part of it

imfine: well, he told me my plan for him

imfine: when we got coffee i told him about my dad

imfine: not shadi, my real dad, jove

imfine: and i told him how both him and my mom were musicians

imfine: and he said that he thinks i hav 'singing genes'

childofmagic: i heard you singing once !!!

childofmagic: i think youre amazing !!!

sunshines: yeah, kinda shocking you dont sing more pollo

imfine: well, anyway

imfine: he wanted to change topics to feel better

imfine: and

imfine: we talked about the band

imfine: and he told me that

imfine: and he asked me to sing

imfine: and

imfine: and uh

spaceboy: i like where this is going

sunshines: shhhh

sunshines: im listening

sunshines: well, reading

imfine: we kind of sat across from each other

imfine: and i sang some songs

imfine: and he was amazed

imfine: and even joined in

imfine: and it was great

imfine: and then

imfine: and

imfine: i

imfine: uh

pinecone: deep breaths polly

pinecone: relax and try again

imfine: okay

imfine: uh

imfine: i got really into it, and closed my eyes

imfine: and then suddenly

imfine: he

imfine: he

imfine: he kissed me

sunshines: wHAt

spaceboy: oh my

pinecone: o

pinecone: oh

childofmagic: YES

childofmagic: YES FINALLY

imfine: yeah and then we talked and

imfine: and he told me hes had a crush on me for over a year now

imfine: and i told him that it was the same for me

imfine: and im so happy but i dont think i should be???

spaceboy: YES YOU SHOULD

spaceboy: i mean i dated you i know one damn thing for sure and thats klav is lucky

sunshines: well??? i mean??? were you okay with it???

imfine: i guess???

imfine: it was sudden

imfine: i dont know

imfine: but i think were dating now???

sunshines: oh wow

sunshines: youre not even sure????

pinecone: they kissed and said they had crushes on each other

pinecone: that is a confession if ive ever heard one

imfine: then we went to sleep

imfine: and i decided to text all of you

imfine: and um

imfine: thats that

imfine: sorry, im all over the place right now

childofmagic: IM SO PROUD

childofmagic: BROTHER, SAY GOODBYE TO THESE VIRGINS AND ENTER THE TAKEN HEAVEN WITH ME

childofmagic: ALSO GAY

imfine: i better sleep now

imfine: i guess things will get sorted out tomorrow

spaceboy: alright you player

spaceboy: see you tmrw

pinecone: sleep tight polly !!!

pinecone: and i hope everything turns out well !!!

childofmagic: i already said gnight irl but might as well

childofmagic: gnight and good luck 

sunshines: night night 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been planning this Klapollo for a while, so I hope it's cute. 
> 
> And yes, they shall be pure boyfriends from now on. And yes, the angst will go down thanks to the fluff. He he. 
> 
> I wonder who Edgeworth has a crush on?


	14. we missed the plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dancingqueen: GET YOUR STUFF AND LETS GO  
> datzausername: but  
> dancingqueen: I BROUGHT SNACKS  
> datzausername: OMW

Private Chat Between Athena Cykes (sunshines) And Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Thursday, 10:32 PM

 

sunshines: hey

sunshines: good job kid

imfine: ha ha

imfine: thanks

sunshines: i guess

sunshines: good luck with you new boyfriend

imfine: i hope he wants to date

imfine: its just one kiss??? does it count???

sunshines: he said hes had a crush on you for over a year man

sunshines: hell yeah it counts

imfine: ha ha okay

imfine: gnight thena

sunshines: gnight polly

 

Private Chat Between Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison) And Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Thursday, 11:45 PM

 

nailpolishpoison: where the hell are you

pianoman: thats none of your buisness

nailpolishpoison: look, you can do your running away act tomorrow morning

nailpolishpoison: its getting late, and we have no idea where you are

pianoman: you say that as if you care

nailpolishpoison: maybe i dont

nailpolishpoison: but if u die out there the police will look into us

nailpolishpoison: and will figure out theres a problem

pianoman: i can go to the police myself, you know

nailpolishpoison: but you wont

nailpolishpoison: youre too scared

nailpolishpoison: and you dont want to cause trouble

pianoman: you dont know that

nailpolishpoison: then where are you?

nailpolishpoison: getting the police like a normal person would?

nailpolishpoison: or hiding out somewhere like the useless idiot you are?

pianoman: ...

nailpolishpoison: yeah, thats what i thought

nailpolishpoison: wherever you are, are you safe?

pianoman: you dont care

nailpolishpoison: are you?

pianoman: yes

nailpolishpoison: good

nailpolishpoison: see you tomorrow at school

nailpolishpoison: and youre coming home with me

pianoman: well see about that

nailpolishpoison: did it hurt?

pianoman: what?

nailpolishpoison: when he hit you

nailpolishpoison: did it hurt?

pianoman: yes

pianoman: a lot

pianoman: i have a bruise

nailpolishpoison: ...

nailpolishpoison: good

nailpolishpoison: you deserved that

nailpolishpoison: about time he put you in your place

 

Private Chat Between Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic) And Apollo Jutsice (imfine)

 

Friday, 0:21 AM

 

childofmagic: hey polly

childofmagic: i cant sleep :(

imfine: me neither

childofmagic: uh

childofmagic: can we talk about your boyfriend?

imfine: youre getting really into this

childofmagic: ha ha

childofmagic: i guess its just

childofmagic: my bro got a bf

childofmagic: i got the same when you got with clay !!!

imfine: and you were even more sad than me when we broke up

childofmagic: he he

childofmagic: i mean youve had a crush on him for so long !!!

childofmagic: its exciting !!!!

imfine: yeah, i guess it is

childofmagic: so?

childofmagic: give me some drama !!!

imfine: well, to be honest

imfine: when we 'went to sleep' he couldnt sleep either

imfine: so we talked a bit longer

childofmagic: ah

childofmagic: i thought that was heading somewhere else

imfine: TRUCY!

childofmagic: .....he he

imfine: jesus is watching

childofmagic: im sure he is polly

childofmagic: so?

imfine: well, i dunno

imfine: we just

imfine: tried to figure everything out

imfine: and he asked if we should date

childofmagic: and you better have said yes

imfine: i mean

imfine: duh

childofmagic: YES

childofmagic: POLLY YOU PLAYER

imfine: he he

imfine: but he also doesnt want too many people to know

imfine: he doesnt want it to reach his dad

childofmagic: ah

imfine: i told him i told you guys but you can be trusted and hes alright with it

imfine: just be quiet about it, okay?

childofmagic: ye ye

childofmagic: um

childofmagic: its okay if you dont want to say but

childofmagic: why was he here, anyway?

imfine: uh

imfine: ok

imfine: ill tell you, but dont tell anyone else

childofmagic: cross my heart

imfine: so, his father and kristoph are both dicks, that is the groundwork

imfine: and they both basically treat him like shit

imfine: and it has gotten especially bad since the matt engarde thing

childofmagic: ah

childofmagic: that thing

childofmagic: i thought that was over with

imfine: well

imfine: since we got the band together, his dad found out

imfine: and he got mad at him, since he didnt want to pay more for hospital bills

imfine: and dint want all that trouble with the police again

imfine: and he ended up hitting him

childofmagic: oh god

imfine: the thing is, his father doesnt even notice him most of the time

imfine: and the first time he did was because of this

childofmagic: i

childofmagic: i didnt know he had it so rough

imfine: now that we know....

imfine: weve gotta take care of him

imfine: he doesnt have a loving family

imfine: so lets give him one

childofmagic: YEAH!

childofmagic: i want him to hang out with us all the time now!

childofmagic: and when youre alone i want to see some cute boyfriends stuff!!!

imfine: hmghg

imfine: boyfriends

imfine: that still sounds unreal

childofmagic: aw stop being so adorable already

childofmagic: did ya kiss more than once

imfine: hmmmm maybe

childofmagic: he he he

childofmagic: kisses are fun arent they

imfine: yeah

imfine: yeah they are

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) And The Phantom (???)

 

Friday, 3:01 AM

 

kicknamestakeass: so?

kicknamestakeass: any progress?

???: patience, mr engarde

???: im a busy man

kicknamestakeass: fine

kicknamestakeass: any leads, then?

???: armando is helping him with the crush

???: so the crush exists

???: no solid proof yet

kicknamestakeass: well, thats something

kicknamestakeass: i had a question

???: im not here for chit-chat, engarde

kicknamestakeass: remember juan corrida's request?

???: i do - its what gave my services publicity, after all

kicknamestakeass: what did he ask for, specifically?

???: mr engarde, i dont have the time right now

kicknamestakeass: ill pay you

kicknamestakeass: the case is closed, so tell me

???: you know what happened

???: you broke up with celeste and two weeks later she takes a ton of pills and end up hospitalized

???: corrida wanted proof you pushed her to it

???: i found the texts, gave them to corrida

???: but before he could go public with it, you got involved

kicknamestakeass: ironic!

kicknamestakeass: you almost got me in a whole lot of trouble, and now im using your services!

???: yes

???: it is funny

???: but thats my job. i dont have a bias to my clients. i just do the job.

kicknamestakeass: remember how i got rid of the evidence?

???: you used the gaviners

???: you and daryan convinced klavier, jake and neil to completely tear down his reputation

???: but it backfired, he got his friends, a big fight broke out

???: everyone involved ended up in hospital

???: klavier aparently barely survived

???: needed expensive treatment

???: the band broke up

kicknamestakeass: very good!

kicknamestakeass: your memory is excellent!

???: is this relevant?

kicknamestakeass: nah

kicknamestakeass: just wanted to remind you how much of a monster you are

???: very funny

???: you know, i can stop our deal any moment

kicknamestakeass: nah

kicknamestakeass: you wont

kicknamestakeass: you wouldnt look into some innocent girl's suicide attempt and cause pain for so many people if you didnt need the money

kicknamestakeass: ill pay you more if you listen

???: ...

kicknamestakeass: you dont enjoy this, do you?

???: why would it? im not a psychopath

???: i do this because i need to

kicknamestakeass: ha ha

kicknamestakeass: alright

kicknamestakeass: thanks for another clue to your true idenity ;)

???: ...

???: i dont like you

kicknamestakeass: you dont have to

kicknamestakeass: get to work

kicknamestakeass: i dont pay you for nothing :)

 

Private Chat Between Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen) And Datz Are'bal (datzausername)

 

Friday, 5:31 AM

 

dancingqueen: WAKE UP

dancingqueen: WE HAVE A FLGHT TO CATCH

datzausername: wh

dancingqueen: DATZ

dancingqueen: ARE YOU NOT AWAKE YET

datzausername: um

datzausername: i am

dancingqueen: GET YOUR STUFF AND LETS GO

datzausername: but

dancingqueen: I BROUGHT SNACKS

datzausername: OMW

 

Friday, 9:31 AM

 

dancingqueen: did we really just miss the flight?

datzausername: i wont tell dhurke if you wont

dancingqueen: deal

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Friday, 9:37 AM

 

childofmagic: todays the day !!!

childofmagic: this is gonna be fun !!!

imfine: youre so excited truce...

childofmagic: i was wondering if we could figure the rooms out???

childofmagic: i was thinking 2 for each would be good

burgerqueen: you have 6 bedrooms????

childofmagic: of course not !!!

childofmagic: we have twice as much !!!

gravyravy: trucy's family is a very rich magician troupe!

gravyravy: dont be surprised maya....

burgerqueen: huh

childofmagic: so, can we try to pair up?

childofmagic: ill start

childofmagic: ill be with pearly

gravyravy: <3

boobitch: ill go with toaster man

gobo: >:(

boobitch: he he

childofmagic: ok!

pianoman: wanna go together herr forehead?

imfine: sure thing

burgerqueen: franzy? you wanna go with me?

littlemissperfect: that should be fine

sunshines: junie! lets go together!

piecone: yeah! ok!

spaceboy: so i gues all ive got left is nicky boy

childofmagic: i mean, we still have a few spare bedrooms

spaceboy: yeah no offence imma go private

nicknackpattywack: yeah i dont care anyway

childofmagic: ok, so thats

childofmagic: me and pearly

childofmagic: diego and mia

childofmagic: franzy and maya

childofmagic: klavier and apollo

childofmagic: junie and athena

childofmagic: and phoenix and clay will get their own rooms

childofmagic: is that good?

boobitch: looks good to me

imfine: eh, should be okay

burgerqueen: yep yep

gravyravy: cant wait already <3333

spaceboy: letssss doooo it

nicknackpattywack: i dont know why im going but should be fun

pinecone: this is gonna be so much fun !

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Friday, 9:54 AM

 

gobo: uh

gobo: okay so

gobo: i need to say something

boobitch: right now???

gobo: now or never

nicknackpattywack: whats going on?

gobo: so

gobo: i wanna tell you about my accident

gobo: and all that came with it

gobo: because mia made me

boobitch: i **suggested** it

gobo: okay okay

gobo: i guess its a good idea

gravyravy: you dont have to...

gobo: i wanna

gobo: so

gobo: at the end of freshman year, i went to a party

gobo: and i got drunk

gravyravy: in freshman year????

burgerqueen: how old were you?

gobo: too young

gobo: anyway, my dad had to pick me up

gobo: i got in the car, and boom

gobo: some guy, who was also drunk, hit us

gobo: and all i remember is crawling out of the car

gobo: and then being out cold for a year

nicknackpattywack: thats....

burgerqueen: awful....

boobitch: around that time, i just started freshman year

boobitch: everyone heard about that crash

boobitch: and a year later, he got held back a year and ended up in my class

boobitch: around this time i broke up with lana and was kinda going through a rough spot

burgerqueen: and since you both needed someone you got close to each other?

gobo: basically

gobo: the crash still has effects

gobo: and im getting worse

boobitch: dont worry them like that!

boobitch: you know damn well youll get better!

gobo: we dont know that, mia

boobitch: yes we do

boobitch: now shut up and tell them the rest

boobitch: tell them about you know who

gobo: i was hoping you would forget that part....

boobitch: if youre telling them the story

boobitch: just tell them the full story

burgerqueen: you dont have to!

gobo: no.

gobo: shes right.

gobo: so, obviously, i had friends in my old class

gobo: and i fell out of touch

gobo: but

gobo: i didnt have just friends, if you get what i mean

nicknackpattywack: so you mean you had a girlfriend before mia?

gobo: close

gobo: i uh

gobo: had a boyfriend

gravyravy: ohhhhh

nicknackpattywack: WAIT WHAT

burgerqueen: SKSKSKSKSKSKSKKSKSSSKSKSKK

boobitch: his name was simon keyes

boobitch: he left the school last year

nicknackpattywack: pause.

nicknackpattywack: keyes?

nicknackpattywack: the kid who would break windows, beat up people, shouted at teachers?

burgerqueen: the kid who threw parties every week?

gravyravy: the one who manipulated people to get what he wanted?

gobo: yeah

gobo: _that_ keyes

gobo: the party that night was actually one of his

nicknackpattywack: ???

nicknackpattywack: how???

gobo: look, im not gonna give you a detailed account on how we fell for each other

gobo: all i can say is we havent talked in like... three years

gobo: i dont think he ever really cared about me tho, so its fine

gobo: i have someone better now <3

boobitch: <333333

burgerqueen: wow

burgerqueen: thats

burgerqueen: a lot

gobo: yeah well

gobo: thats the emotional baggage i carry around everyday *finger guns*

nicknackpattywack: big oof

gobo: hey, at least now you can be sure i can help you get a bf

gobo: i mean

gobo: i have experiance

nicknackpattywack: are you... okay?

gobo: still dealing with it

gobo: but i gotta say, telling yall really helps

gobo: thanks for listening

burgerqueen: always

nicknackpattywack: thats what friends are for

gravyravy: anytime

 

Groupchat: fixing the edgy

Members: 6

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

 

Friday, 10:01 AM

 

floof: i have done some stalking

floof: and i have found an opening

floof: the debate club

stealyoshitgirl: duh

floof: no i mean

floof: in debate club, he doesnt have anyone apart from _us_

floof: the perfect time for CONVERTING him

stealyoshitgirl: i suppose

stealyoshitgirl: so you and franzy are there?

stealyoshitgirl: is that all?

floof: yeh

owo: i talked to him earlier today

owo: i told him about shih-na

owo: and i was like

owo: any girllllls

owo: and then i was like

owo: oh shit hes gay

stealyoshitgirl: lang?

owo: yes?

stealyoshitgirl: did you do anything that worked?

owo: uh

 

_owo left_

 

stealyoshitgirl: im not adding him back this time

stealyoshitgirl: this man is insane and needs help

floof: SAYS KAY FARADAY

stealyoshitgirl: SAYS RAYMOND FUCKING SHIELDS

floof: youve got a point theif girl

stealyoshitgirl: thanks afro man

littlemissperfect: i got it

stealyoshitgirl: wait wait wait

 

_stealyoshitgirl added owo_

 

stealyoshitgirl: ok now

littlemissperfect: okay

littlemissperfect: miles crush is phoenix wright

stealyoshitgirl: well shit

owo: ohohohohohoohohohooh

debesteboy: is it too late to cancel???

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Godot's and Klavier's/Engarde's/The Gaviners' backstories revealed!
> 
> Yes. I ship Godot with Simon and YOU CAN FITE ME.
> 
> And sorry this chapter isn't as "humorous". I had to do some character development but things should be back to the normal shit-postiness soon!


	15. perhaps.jpg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boobitch: BITCH WHATCHU JUST SAY
> 
> boobitch: THATS IT WERE DONE
> 
> boobitch: IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU ROBO BOY
> 
> gobo: no pls i need the coochie
> 
> boobitch: HOW DARE U SAY BIRDBOX IS BORING
> 
> nicknackpattywack: OH NO YOU FLIPPED HER BIRDBOX SWITCH
> 
> nicknackpattywack: QUICK SOMEONE ASK ABOUT SHREK 2

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

 

Friday, 10:12 AM

 

nicknackpattywack: hello

gobo: mornin

nicknackpattywack: just

nicknackpattywack: wanted to ask

nicknackpattywack: about the crash

gobo: i guess i might as well tell you everything

gobo: fire away

nicknackpattywack: so

nicknackpattywack: there was a single fatality

nicknackpattywack: thats what the news report said at least

gobo: yeah

gobo: there was

nicknackpattywack: you dont have to tell me

nicknackpattywack: but

gobo: read his name

nicknackpattywack: uh

nicknackpattywack: okay, one sec

nicknackpattywack: o

nicknackpattywack: oh

gobo: yeah

nicknackpattywack: oliver armando?

gobo: my

gobo: uh

gobo: my dad

nicknackpattywack: i

nicknackpattywack: i see

nicknackpattywack: im

nicknackpattywack: im sorry

gobo: its fine

gobo: now, everything clear?

nicknackpattywack: yeah

nicknackpattywack: i guess it is

nicknackpattywack: thanks for telling us

gobo: #blamemia

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Friday, 10:22 AM

 

childofmagic: what movie are we watching???

imfine: is this really necessary?

childofmagic: of course!

childofmagic: its a sleepover, we need to watch a movie!

pinecone: well, what are our choices?

childofmagic: anythin on netflix

spaceboy: lets binge lost in spaceeeee

imfine: what are you saying? doctor who is better!

boobitch: nah nah nah

boobitch: she said movie

boobitch: and there is only one superior movie

boobitch: birdbox

gobo: that movie is so boring tho....

boobitch: BITCH WHATCHU JUST SAY

boobitch: THATS IT WERE DONE

boobitch: IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU ROBO BOY

gobo: no pls i need the coochie

boobitch: HOW DARE U SAY BIRDBOX IS BORING

nicknackpattywack: OH NO YOU FLIPPED HER BIRDBOX SWITCH

nicknackpattywack: QUICK SOMEONE ASK ABOUT SHREK 2

boobitch: did someone say shrek 2??

boobitch: did you know i read my whole 100 page essay on youtube

boobitch: here

boobitch:  <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ>

childofmagic: my eyes have been opened 

pinecone: id love to see to all the boys ive loved before again...

sunshines: if its gotta be a romantic movie, we do the kissing booth

gravyravy: cant we watch a disney movie?

burgerqueen: oh come on

burgerqueen: if its movie night, were going all out

burgerqueen: lets binge some scary ass show and see who cant sleep

littlemissperfect: if it must be scary, i suggest american horror story

littlemissperfect: me and miles watched it together once

littlemissperfect: the fool couldnt sleep for two days

burgerqueen: mwahahahahahaha

burgerqueen: perrrrrrfect

nicknackpattywack: lets do it

nicknackpattywack: yall are pussies you cant handle this

gobo: says phoenix wright

spaceboy: i expect some good ass snacks

pinecone: i made cupcakes !!!

sunshines: junie youre lierralllyllylyly too good

imfine: r/ihadastroke

 

Private Chat Between Juniper Woods (pinecone) And Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Friday, 10:28 AM

 

spaceboy: hey, junie?

spaceboy: are you feeling okay?

pinecone: hm?

spaceboy: you seem a little out of it

spaceboy: is everything okay?

pinecone: yes

pinecone: i think

pinecone: im fine

spaceboy: i think i know whats wrong

pinecone: you... do???

spaceboy: its obvious you have a crush on polly

spaceboy: and now that hes got a boyfriend, youre bummed out

pinecone: i

pinecone: i wish you were right

pinecone: i really wish it were that simple

spaceboy: ???

spaceboy: what do you mean???

pinecone: i like apollo

pinecone: at least i thought i did

pinecone: but

pinecone: now that he has someone, i realized i dont actually mind

pinecone: and i realized something else

spaceboy: whats wrong?

pinecone: i _thought_ i liked apollo

pinecone: but theres someone i... like more

spaceboy: you can tell me if you want !

spaceboy: lemme in on the tea, come on sis

pinecone: he he he

pinecone: okay fine

pinecone: well

pinecone: its

pinecone: its athena

spaceboy: NO

spaceboy: WAY

spaceboy: JUNIE

pinecone: please dont be mad

spaceboy: NO NO NO

spaceboy: LISTEN

spaceboy: listen

spaceboy: ATHENA HAS HAD A CRUSH ON YOU FOR YEARS

spaceboy: IF YOU TELL HER RIGHT NOW

spaceboy: IT WILL LITERALLY CHANGE HER LIFE

pinecone: really???

spaceboy: yes

spaceboy: we never told you because we thought you liked apollo

spaceboy: but this

spaceboy: THIS IS TEA

pinecone: when should i tell her then???

pinecone: clay im scared

spaceboy: no no no

spaceboy: relax

spaceboy: deep breaths

spaceboy: how about this

spaceboy: ask her to talk to you privately at lunch

spaceboy: and then see how that works out?

pinecone: are you sure?

pinecone: this is so sudden

spaceboy: yes.

spaceboy: do it. become a soft lesbian.

pinecone: okay!

pinecone: um.... see you at lunch i guess!!! ill tell you how it went!!!

 

Groupchat: troupe gramarye !!! (and apollo...)

Members: 7

Description: THE GREATEST MAGICAL TROUPE! ....and apollo

 

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Shadi Enigmar (shadiaf)

*Thalassa Gramarye-Enigmar (lmaoir)

*Roger Rentiz (reducereusrecycle)

*Valant Gramarye (bananaman)

*Magnifi Gramarye (thecoolgrandpa)

 

Friday, 10:34 AM

 

lmaoir: were leaving in an hour

lmaoir: will you two be okay?

imfine: well be fine mom

shadiaf: dont do anything shadi

bananaman: whhehwhwhwhwh STOP

reducereusrecycle: this is why we cant have nice things

childofmagic: uncle roger

childofmagic: please dont burn the stage again

reducereusrecycle: i cant make promises trucy

childofmagic: grandpa dont let tigers loose at the audience again, ok?

thecoolgrandpa: as if i would do that

thecoolgrandpa: by accident

imfine: mom, dad, uncle valant

lmaoir: yes polly?

bananaman: oui?

shadiaf: shadi

imfine: please dont shoot yourself again

bananaman: BUT THATS OUR BEST TRICK!

lmaoir: it always works polly

lmaoir: weve done it many times

lmaoir: dont worry

imfine: whatever you say

imfine: just please, stay safe, ok?

imfine: i just

imfine: i dont want any of you to get hurt

bananaman: awe

imfine: apart from you, maybe

bananaman: :(

childofmagic: well try our best to not trash the house while youre gone

childofmagic: and well catch one of your shows and watch it with our friends!

shadiaf: im so proud T-T

childofmagic: he he he

childofmagic: have fun old people

imfine: yeah, have fun guys

lmaoir: thanks

lmaoir: and hey, polly

lmaoir: your friend can come over whenever he wants

imfine: thanks mom

 

Groupchat: datz a groupchat

Members: 4

Description: 50% in america and 50% in khura'in

 

*Dhurke Sahdmadhi (daenerys)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Datz Are'bal (datzausername)

 

Friday, 11:00 AM

 

daenerys: so, where are you?

daenerys: ive been standing out here for a good two hours now

daenerys: the plane landed already, so where are you?

dancingqueen: yeahhhh

datzausername: we got

dancingqueen: lost

datzausername: at the airport

dancingqueen: in america

datzausername: yes yes

daenerys: uh

daenerys: okay???

daenerys: well, im waiting in the parking lot

daenerys: i can go to arrivals if youre that lost

datzausername: NO NO NO

datzausername: ITS FINE

datzausername: WERE FINE

datzausername: JUST

datzausername: WAIT LIKE

datzausername: 4 MORE HOURS, OKAY???

daenerys: datz

datzausername: yes?

daenerys:: did u miss the plane

datzausername: WHAT

datzausername: NO

datzausername: NONONOONONONONOON

datzausername: OKAY BYE GOTTA GO FLIGHT MODE

daenerys: wow

 

Groupchat: Teachers

Members: 45

Description: All Themis Highschool Teachers

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Friday, 11:26 AM

 

Professor Von Karma: Is there any way we could kick out all of these troublemakers?

bigorangepowerman: aw manny

bigorangepowerman: are you worried?

Professor Von Karma: How is it that kids in this shool can go around breaking the rules and just get away with it?

bigorangepowerman: oh come on now!

bigorangepowerman: armando was just having a bit of fun!

bigorangepowerman: he was punished and is on his best behaviour now!

Professor Von Karma: This isn't the first time that either him or Mia have something like this.

Professor Von Karma: And it is surely not the last.

glados: let the kids have their fun party pooper

Professor Von Karma: This is a prestigious school, not a playground.

mamametis: we all know that these kids have been through a lot

Professor Von Karma: With all due respect, Doctor Cykes, you don't know much.

Professor Von Karma: Don't make me remind you it's your first year here.

daenerys: shes a psychology master

daenerys: she knows what shes saying

Professor Von Karma: Hmph

Professor Von Karma: I'm questioning her expertise

glados: OH YOUVE DONE IT NOW YOU PRUNE

glados: FIGHT ME

glados: NO ONE SAYS THAT TO MY WIFE

mamametis: wife????!?!!?!??!

glados: uh

glados: i mean

glados: shitititititshisjtithitshi

daenerys: my otp right here

Professor Von Karma: And I'm guessing you see yourself as a good teacher, Mr. Sahdmadhi?

daenerys: ?

Professor Von Karma: And yet you skip a day of teaching in the first week of school already.

Professor Von Karma: Who knows? Perhaps you will skip a whole month when it gets too hard?

daenerys: 1. i went to pick my DAUGHTER and MY BEST FRIEND from the airport, i dont see the problem with me taking one day off.

daenerys: 2. why are you coming after everyone like this???

glados: he thinks the kids are bad but hes acting like a kindergartener

daenerys: he he he

Professor Von Karma: This school needs good students and even better teachers.

Professor Von Karma: And so far all I'm seeing is no discipline and people making mockery of the art of teaching and passing on knowledge.

Professor Von Karma: Also, if my daughter were to arrive by plane, she would be able to take care of herself.

Professor Von Karma: I wouldn't need to pick her up.

daenerys: THIS is why youre not in the best parents groupchat...

daenerys: like come on!

daenerys: a little girl with jet lag, exhausted after a long flight!

daenerys: of course the first thing she would love to see would be her father!

Professor Von Karma: If your daughter if so dependant on you at the age of 14 clearly you are not the best of fathers.

daenerys: YOU DID NOT

Professor Von Karma: Using capital letters to show your frustration?

Professor Von Karma: Truly childish.

Professor Von Karma: But from your son's behaviour, I'd say your whole family is quite... Strange.

daenerys: fdjogehf98egfhe89

glados: dont let him get under your skin dhurke

daenerys: BUT HE IS HURTING MY CHILDREN

glados: dhurke, calm down

daenerys: A DRAGON NEVER YIELDS REEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Friday, 12:45 AM

 

childofmagic: wheres junie and thena?

spaceboy: they went to ms. courte i think

childofmagic: ah ok

gobo: i am having a stroke

boobitch: oh please get over yourself

childofmagic: whats happening?

boobitch: well, diego always has 5 thermal bottles with coffee in them

boobitch: but today, he forgot to pack two of them

boobitch: AKA he is mising his coffee dosage for the rest of the day

gobo: do you think ill get in trouble if i go to the staff lounge and make some

boobitch: yes

gobo: ok brb

nicknackpattywack: well there he goes

boobitch: nicky

boobitch: nicky boy

nicknackpattywack: yes?

boobitch: when debeate club is on next week you better talk to edgeworth

nicknackpattywack: hngngnngngn ok

burgerqueen: franzyyy come sit with us

littlemissperfect: sorry, i cant right now

burgerqueen: hmhhmmh ok

burgerqueen: ok ok ok ok

childofmagic: wheres apollo and klavier???

spaceboy: making out in the bathroom, probably

childofmagic: ohoohhmhmhmhmhm

burgerqueen: lol i ship it

burgerqueen: oh look theres thena and junie

childofmagic: they seem so happy !!!

childofmagic: theyre blushing and giggling and all !!!

childofmagic: COULD IT BE ?!?!?!??!

sunshines: IM GETTING LAID BITCHES

pinecone: thena pls

sunshines: I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

sunshines: A SOFT GORL ALL FOR MYSELF

pinecone: nhnhnhnnh stappppph

childofmagic: awwwww

childofmagic: clay are u behind this

spaceboy: (perhaps.jpg)

childofmagic: pearly, you know what this means, right?

childofmagic: soft lesbians

gravyravy: AH YES OF COURSE

gravyravy: get ready girlies

sunshines: im scared

pinecone: dhdhdhdh hold my hand

imfine: sorry were running late

imfine: we had something to take care of

pianoman: also, the longer im out of kristoph's sight, the better

spaceboy: what were you taking care of

imfine: what do you think, clay?

spaceboy: i have an idea but i dont wanna say because its not pg

pianoman: we were taking care of the gaviners

spaceboy: mhmmmm

spaceboy: ok ok ok

imfine: clay i will crucify you

spaceboy: tryyyy me

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 7

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Adrian Andrews (awkward)

*Celsete Inpax (motorcyclebabe)

 

Friday, 12:50 AM

 

gravyravy: *clears throat*

gravyravy: ladies

gravyravy: ladies

gravyravy: LADIES

 

_gravyravy added pinecone and sunshines_

 

gravyravy: these two are new to the world of having a soft lesbian girlfriend

gravyravy: please, introduce them to our world

sunshines: this is beautiful

pinecone: this is all happening so fastttt

sunshines: come here

sunshines: i can hold you in my arms without saying no homo this time

pinecone: UwU

burgerqueen: *raises hand*

burgerqueen: i dont have a gf

motorcyclebabe: well thats your own problem, BOTTOM

awkward: CELESTE

awkward: STOP BEING MEAN

motorcyclebabe: gmmgmgmgmgm

burgerqueen: he he he

burgerqueen: but not for long, my fellow americans/lesbians

burgerqueen: for i will go for it at the sleepover

irishgay: you go girl

irishgay: we support you

tumblrartist: yes... good luck maya !!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BACK
> 
> IT'S NOT DEAD
> 
> I'LL KEEP WRITING TILL I DIEEEEEEEE
> 
> also yes. junithena had to be done. and it had to be done FAST. 
> 
> the wrightworth is taking too long.... I MUST HURRY IT UP
> 
> also... rayfa is coming to america and yes she will wreck all of you


	16. MIIIIIINNEEEEEEE DIAAAAAAAAMOOONDSSSSSSSS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gobo: edgy***
> 
> gravyravy: like those hedgehogs
> 
> nicknackpattywack: excuse me while i go throw up
> 
> burgerqueen: ill go hold your hair
> 
> gobo: his spikes***
> 
> boobitch: like the hedgehogs
> 
> gravyravy: it all comes full circle
> 
> boobitch: this conversation is heading nowhere

Private Chat Between Juniper Woods (pinecone) And Athena Cykes (sunshines)

 

Friday, 1:01 AM

 

pinecone: hey thena

sunshines: yes?

pinecone: i love you

sunshines: he he he

sunshines: uno reverse card

pinecone: >-<

sunshines: is it true youve had this crush for a while?

pinecone: yes

pinecone: i didnt notice it at first

pinecone: but now i get it i guess

pinecone: and you?

sunshines: ever since middle school

pinecone: really???

pinecone: ah uhm

pinecone: sorry

sunshines: no !!!

sunshines: dont be !!!

sunshines: you have no reason to say sorry !!!

sunshines: im just glad were together now

pinecone: he he he

pinecone: okie

pinecone: i guess this explains a few things

sunshines: ?

pinecone: like, when you got flustered because we had to hold hands in that once scene in the school play... i think it was 6th grade

sunshines: oh

sunshines: that

sunshines: yeah, i told simon all about it and then cried for like two hours

pinecone: really????

sunshines: it was so stupid

sunshines: i remember saying 'her hands were so soft' a good ten times before putting another spoonful of ice cream in my mouth

pinecone: hahahahahah

pinecone: thats so precious

sunshines: simon metis and aura thought that it passed when highschool started

sunshines: but when simon and aura moved here and aura and metis started working at this school for some reason i decided it would be a good idea to start going wild about it again

sunshines: just two days ago i told taka all about your gorgeous eyes so that bird might be looking at you weird next time you visit

pinecone: i love taka

pinecone: hes great

sunshines: i know you do

sunshines: me you and simon are the only people he doesnt want to turn into confetti

pinecone: truth is

pinecone: i felt a little weird too, last year and this summer

pinecone: so i talked to my granny about it

pinecone: and she told me that i probably had a crush

pinecone: at the time, i thought she was being silly

pinecone: i guess its since weve been friends for so long, i didnt think we could fall for each other, because we already would have, you know?

sunshines: he he

sunshines: i get you

sunshines: im just glad we finally got here

sunshines: remember that time you made me a little cute stuffed bunny

pinecone: ah, i remember that!

pinecone: you were so happy i thought you would cry!

sunshines: yeah

sunshines: i brought it to show it to simon and taka tried to take it from me

sunshines: i got so angry i knocked over taka's little stand

sunshines: simon was so angry at me....

pinecone: simon is like a brother to you, isnt he?

sunshines: i guess

sunshines: we grew up together, and hes always protected me

sunshines: he might seem rough, but hes like family to me

pinecone: i see

pinecone: how is he doing anyway?

sunshines: honestly, i dont know...

sunshines: i wonder

 

Groupchat: the good the better and the pretty

Members: 3

Description: nahyuta looks like elsa and if you disagree you can PERISH

 

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Friday, 1:15 AM

 

simonsays: IM NOT OKAY

elsa: simon, where are you?

injusticewetrust: are you okay ?! do you need the help of justice?!

simonsays: i just need help ok

simonsays: im panicking i dont know what to do

simonsays: I DONT NORMALLY PANIC

elsa: ...at the disco

simonsays: TIME AND PLACE NAHYUTA

elsa: whats going on?

simonsays: come to the rooftop

simonsays: you have to see this for yourself

injusticewetrust: sorry! im a little busy right now!

elsa: ill be there in a minute

simonsays: ok thanks

simonsays: ah

simonsays: im gonna die

simonsays: help me

injusticewetrust: whats happening?

injusticewetrust: is somethig wrong !? oh no !!!

elsa: (selfie.jpg)

injusticewetrust: IS THAT SIMON'S HAWK

injusticewetrust: WHY IS IT AT THE SCHOOL ROOFTOP

simonsays: NAHYUYA STOP TAKING SELFIES WITH MY BIRD

elsa: but its a bird

elsa: and i have a phone

elsa: i must

simonsays: GHFDHFH

injusticewetrust: why

injusticewetrust: is your bird

injusticewetrust: at the rooftop

simonsays: your guess is as good as mine

simonsays: i guess i left the window open ???

simonsays: he wont listen to me and i cant just leave him here

injusticewetrust: why dont you call your sister?

injusticewetrust: im sure she could skip a class or two to get him home

simonsays: yeah except he hates her and will tear her eyes out if she tries to touch him

injusticewetrust: ah

injusticewetrust: well go with her then?

injusticewetrust: leave early?

simonsays: i guess?????

injusticewetrust: why do you have a hawk anyway?

injusticewetrust: how did you get your hands on one?

simonsays: it doesnt matter

simonsays: ill call aura

elsa: im sending this pic to rayfa

elsa: see you around

simonsays: wow thanks princey

injusticewetrust: if hes princey then youre virgil !!!

elsa: SANDERS SIDES???

injusticewetrust: YESSSSS

elsa: if im roman and simon is virgil...

elsa: then youre patton

injusticewetrust: yay !!!

elsa: me and simon are gonna stay here taking care of taka

elsa: dont wait up

injusticewetrust: sure thing !!!

 

Private Chat Between Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen) And Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Friday, 1:23 PM

 

elsa: (selfie.jpg)

dancingqueen: is this whats its like living in america ???

elsa: yes

dancingqueen: can i move here ???

elsa: no

elsa: but you can probably meet the bird

dancingqueen: I CAN?!?!?!?!?

dancingqueen: PLEASE

dancingqueen: PLEASE

dancingqueen: PLEASE

dancingqueen: I WANNA SEE IT

elsa: simon wont be happy

elsa: and thats a good thing

elsa: ill get you a date with the bird

dancingqueen: HA HA!

dancingqueen: YES!

dancingqueen: BIRD!

elsa: ive made a mistake

 

Groupchat: fixing the edgy

Members: 6

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

 

Friday, 2:12 AM

 

floof: DID U SEE THAT

stealyoshitgirl: ???

stealyoshitgirl: whats going on???

stealyoshitgirl: IM NOT IN YOUR CLASS RAY WHATS GOING ON

littlemissperfect: could it be were on the right track?

owo: hoohohoohohohohooho

suedeshoes: those are sparks if ive ever seen any pals

stealyoshitgirl: CAN SOMEONE FILL ME IN

debesteboy: ...ditto

floof: pikachu

owo: charmander

suedeshoes: eevee

stealyoshitgirl: IM SERIOUS

debesteboy: please

debesteboy: shes sitting next to me

debesteboy: shes about to hit me

debesteboy: please just tell her

debesteboy: please

debesteboy: i beg

floof: basically

floof: were in english yeah

floof: and we were supposed to do debating

floof: in pairs

floof: AND THE TEACHER PAIRED MILES UP WITH PHOENIX

stealyoshitgirl: OH MY GOD

floof: I KNOW RIGHT

owo: kay and ray together is way too much chaotic energy

suedeshoes: miles and phoenix raised so many good points, and it was like they had a script!

littlemissperfect: they knew exactly what to say, like they had this... telephatical connection

littlemissperfect: it was... strange

debesteboy: so they make a good team???

littlemissperfect: foolish fool!

littlemissperfect: it wasnt just a platonic bond!

littlemissperfect: those were some sparks!

littlemissperfect: ones ive never seen before!

floof: and the way he smiled

floof: this must be it

floof: weve struck gold, now weve gotta MINE IT

owo: MIIIIIINNEEEEEEE DIAAAAAAAAMOOONDSSSSSSSS

owo: cough cough

owo: excuse me

owo: continue

stealyoshitgirl: anyyyywayyy

stealyoshitgirl: that sounds like just what we need!

floof: exaclty

floof: they have a clear connection over debating

floof: i think they both just really enjoy it

floof: so

floof: LISTEN UP

floof: me, franzy and sebastian, we need to ensure they work together as much as possible!

littlemissperfect: sure

debesteboy: i dont really have a choice do i?

stealyoshitgirl: DONT BACK OUT SEBASTIAN '

stealyoshitgirl: WE NEED YOU

debesteboy: ok ok ok

debesteboy: we can do it guys !!!

littlemissperfect: indeed we can

stealyoshitgirl: HELL YEAH

owo: AWWWW YEAHHHH

suedeshoes: hahahahha yeah pals !!!

floof: he he he

floof: operation fix the edgy

debesteboy: wait wait wait

 

_debesteboy changed the group name to 'operation: remove the edge from edgeworth'_

 

debesteboy: now we can go !!!

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Friday, 2:15 PM

 

burgerqueen: WHOOOOO BOYYYYYY

burgerqueen: EVERYONE BE GETTING THE GOOD STUFF THIS WEEK DAMNNN

gobo: ???

boobitch: whats going on this time????

nicknackpattywack: maya please dont

nicknackpattywack: im already shook enough as it is

gravyravy: whats happening maya?

boobitch: yeah let me in on the tea

boobitch: i thought id get some entertainment when diego got coffee from the staff room

boobitch: but metis was there and ended up just letting him fill his thermal bottles

boobitch: all three of them

boobitch: HE CAME OUT WITH BONUS COFFEE INSTEAD OF GETTING HIS ASS BEAT

gobo: metis just knows i like coffee and is cool with it???

boobitch: you got lucky this time

gravyravy: why do you like coffee so much anyway?

gobo: my mom runs a coffee shop

gobo: just been around the smell ever since i was little i guess

gobo: it makes me feel safe or whatever

gobo: also me and simon used to get coffee together a lot

gravyravy: oh

boobitch: come on maya, whats going on?

burgerqueen: nick got partnered up with miles in english

burgerqueen: a debating thing in pairs

burgerqueen: (i got to be with franzy and it was lovely but that doesnt matter)

burgerqueen: what does matter, is the SPARKS

burgerqueen: OH BOY THEY FLEW

burgerqueen: THEY FLEWWWWWWW I TELL YOU

boobitch: ohohoohohohoho

gobo: didnt even need to use my tips

gobo: but you could still introduce him to us

gobo: seems like a chill guy

boobitch: if by 'chill' you mean chilling then yes, he is quite chill

nicknackpattywack: ughhggnngn

nicknackpattywack: i feel weird

gravyravy: butterflies?

nicknackpattywack: more like ten hedhehogs seeing who can get stuck on the walls of my stomach for the longest

gobo: thats

gobo: a mental imige and a half

nicknackpattywack: he was

nicknackpattywack: so nice to me

nicknackpattywack: and im pretty sure he winked at me

nicknackpattywack: ghhgghghhghg

boobitch: ha ha ha

boobitch: all the children are falling in love

gobo: dont end up in a car crash because of it

boobitch: wow

boobitch: dark

gobo: edgy***

gravyravy: like those hedgehogs

nicknackpattywack: excuse me while i go throw up

burgerqueen: ill go hold your hair

gobo: his spikes***

boobitch: like the hedgehogs

gravyravy: it all comes full circle

boobitch: this conversation is heading nowhere

 

Private Chat Between Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa) And Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Friday, 3:41 PM

 

simonsays: hey

simonsays: can we talk?

elsa: thats anxiety in text form

elsa: whats up?

simonsays: its bobby

simonsays: i dont know if youve noticed, but hes acting really weird

elsa: thought that was the norm

simonsays: no i mean

simonsays: he looks really tired, like hes not sleeping

simonsays: he never spends lunch with us, is always looking around

simonsays: rarely listens when we talk, he listens in on other people

simonsays: he seems either really nosy or really paranoid

elsa: hm

elsa: i noticed too

elsa: i thought it was just a normal thing for him

elsa: but i guess it is strange

elsa: id say its the latter

simonsays: paranoia?

simonsays: why?

simonsays: you think hes scared of somehting?

simonsays: someone?

elsa: well, he goes high alert around wright and his crew

elsa: hes even been talking to them a bit

elsa: you think one of them hurt him?

simonsays: mia maya and pearl arent the type

simonsays: phoenix is a bit rough at first, but he wouldnt hurt a fly

simonsays: all i can think of is armando, but he doesnt just hurt people

simonsays: he may be a mean guy, but hes not a bully

simonsays: he doesnt just go and mess with people cuz he feels like it

elsa: so maybe...

elsa: he is snooping around?

simonsays: why would he though?

elsa: information?

elsa: its a good currency

elsa: especially in a school like this, fueled by gossip

simonsays: i guess youre right but...

simonsays: bobby isnt the type to sell information

elsa: perhaps he needs to sell information?

elsa: any reason you could think of?

simonsays: he doesnt talk about himself much

simonsays: all i know is that hes an only child

simonsays: lives with his mom and dad

elsa: hm

elsa: someone blackmailing him?

elsa: a 'pay up or i do this' situation?

elsa: and he has to get info on people?

simonsays: seems plausible

simonsays: but...

simonsays: i cant shake this feeling...

elsa: hm?

simonsays: have u heard of.. the phantom?

elsa: do you think...?

simonsays: no

simonsays: no way

simonsays: it was just a stupid theory anyway

simonsays: the phantom doesnt really exist from what i know

elsa: true

elsa: should we ask him about this?

simonsays: maybe, but id be better in person

simonsays: lets meet up on tmrw, ok?

simonsays: ill tell you details on the groupchat

elsa: sure

elsa: oh, could my sister come?

simonsays: huh?

elsa: i may or may not have told her she can see taka...

simonsays: NAHYUTA

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Friday, 3:52 PM

 

childofmagic: is everyone coming?

gobo: me and mia just had to get some stuff

nicknackpattywack: im with them

nicknackpattywack: well be there soon

sunshines: me junie and clay are on our way !!!

littlemissperfect: me and maya shall arrive shortly

childofmagic: and everyone else came with us already...

childofmagic: ok!!! this is gonna be so fun !!!

 

Private Chat Between Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack) And Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

 

Friday, 4:00 PM

 

Miles: Here are the files you'll need for Monday:

Miles: (debating.docx)

nicknackpattywack: thanks

nicknackpattywack: hey, you were amazing today

nicknackpattywack: where did you learn that?

Miles: From my father

nicknackpattywack: von karma?

Miles: He isn't my father

nicknackpattywack: i thought he adopted you?

Miles: This is irrelevant

nicknackpattywack: hey, um

nicknackpattywack: you know how we talked a lot last year?

Miles: Yes, and?

Miles: We happened to be partners in a lot of activities and talked outside of class from time to time

Miles: What of it?

nicknackpattywack: i

nicknackpattywack: i thought we were friends

nicknackpattywack: remember me you and larry when we were little?

Miles: You know the work you have to do on the weekend, yes?

nicknackpattywack: yeah

nicknackpattywack: miles, listen to me

nicknackpattywack: what happened?

Miles: We can share what we got done Saturday Evening

nicknackpattywack: miles!

Miles: Have a good weekend

Miles: I'll see you on Monday

nicknackpattywack: please, lets talk

Miles: There's nothing more to talk about. Goodbye.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about doing something called 'spiky twink extras'.
> 
> This would be a collection of stories taken from this universe, but written out in normal text, and not chat fic style. I had an idea to write out the scene where Klavier kisses Apollo or maybe where Juniper confesses to Athena. The type of stuff I can't really show through the style that this fic is written in. 
> 
> What do you think about that? Would you read it if I did do something of the sort? Please comment down below! And hey, maybe give me a suggestion of what scene I could write out! 
> 
> For now that's all, thank you for reading and all the nice comments I've been getting!
> 
> Also shout out to vivi for the comment "#letsremovetheedgefromedgeworth", which inspired the new chat name!


	17. thicco the fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boobitch: no one present at this sleepover is straight
> 
> imfine: but diego tho?
> 
> gobo: nope
> 
> spaceboy: (dontdothatdontgivemehope.jpg)
> 
> gobo: WHAT
> 
> spaceboy: just a joke hermano
> 
> imfine: clay can you stop being horny for ONE FUCKING SECOND
> 
> spaceboy: (perhaps.jpg)

Private Chat Between Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison) And Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Friday, 4:21 PM

 

nailpolishpoison: did you avoid me all day on purpose?

pianoman: and what if i did?

nailpolishpoison: i told you you had to come home

nailpolishpoison: i cant believe youre so childish

pianoman: what do you care ?

pianoman: its not like me sitting in that house changes anything !

pianoman: i dont exist to the two of you!

nailpolishpoison: is that what you think?

nailpolishpoison: you think we dont care about you?

nailpolishpoison: all father wants is the best for you

pianoman: as if

pianoman: making me someone im not and abusing me is wanting the best for me?

nailpolishpoison: yes

nailpolishpoison: he wants to get those unrealistic dreams out of your head

nailpolishpoison: as for me, im just like this because i dont want you to get hurt

pianoman: oh wow

pianoman: i thought just yesterday i was 'useless' and 'deserved it'

nailpolishpoison: if you dont listen to him, he will hurt you

nailpolishpoison: im just making sure you follow his rules

pianoman: dont play that manipulating game on me

pianoman: it wont work

nailpolishpoison: hmph

nailpolishpoison: i heard you got with apollo justice

pianoman: go on, tell father

pianoman: im not coming home anyway, so if he wants to hit something he can hit you

nailpolishpoison: i wont

nailpolishpoison: just watch yourself

pianoman: wow, thanks for that little bit of brotherly love

pianoman: didnt know you could even manage it

nailpolishpoison: just shut up

nailpolishpoison: ill see you monday

 

Groupchat: the good the better and the pretty

Members: 3

Description: nahyuta looks like elsa and if you disagree you can PERISH

 

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Friday, 5:09 PM

 

simonsays: do the two of you want to meet up tommorow?

elsa: i suppose

elsa: but ill probably have to bring rayfa

simonsays: eh

simonsays: i dont care

simonsays: as long as she isnt a brat

elsa: shes a spoiled princess

elsa: what do you think

injusticewetrust: id love to come over!

injusticewetrust: would we go to your house?

simonsays: yeah

simonsays: athena metis and aura will all be out

simonsays: so it should be fine

simonsays: we can throw a party

elsa: ew

simonsays: yeah i was hoping you would say that

simonsays: were the weird nerdy kids we dont do 'parties'

injusticewetrust: you arent wrong my emo friend

simonsays: am i just emo because i wear black ???

elsa: honey you wore an mcr shirt to school today

injusticewetrust: and you wear eyeshadow and paint your nails black...

elsa: and you have a hawk !!!

elsa: A HAWK !!!

simonsays: ok ok i get it

simonsays: im emo

simonsays: doesnt change the fact that nahyuta is a koreabo

elsa: ????????

elsa: no???????

simonsays: sorry youre an army

elsa: jfjfjfjf

elsa: theres no winning with you

elsa: emo

simonsays: ?????!?!??!?!?!?

simonsays: ok ok anyway

simonsays: you two know where i live right?

simonsays: just come over at

simonsays: lets say 1 pm

simonsays: you can bring rayfa i guess

simonsays: i dont care

elsa: shell try to hug taka

simonsays: hell rip her throat out

elsa: i wont let her hug taka

simonsays: right answer

injusticewetrust: why dont you tell us how you got taka?

simonsays: well hes not mine, technically

simonsays: hes my dads

simonsays: but he left him with aura when he died

simonsays: and i kind of started training him when i got older

simonsays: for some reason he hates her and loves me

injusticewetrust: oh

simonsays: hey bobby, you never really talk about yourself

simonsays: your family, anything?

injusticewetrust: theres

injusticewetrust: just me my dad and my mom

injusticewetrust: an very small and cozy family

injusticewetrust: nothing more than that

simonsays: ah

simonsays: i see

simonsays: alright, well, see you two tommorow

injusticewetrust: have a good day !!!

elsa: see you

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Friday, 6:11 PM

 

anactualdemon: so?

kicknamestakeass: so what?

anactualdemon: are any of you making any progress?

anactualdemon: by this point were forgetting what our plan actually is

kicknamestakeass: the phantom guy is taking his sweet time, thats for sure

anactualdemon: cant you look into him and threaten him a bit?

anactualdemon: im sure you could get his identity easily if you tried

kicknamestakeass: i cant

kicknamestakeass: i have an acting gig this weekend

rockboi: oooh

rockboi: look at mr movie star

kicknamestakeass: shut up

kicknamestakeass: at least im doing something

kicknamestakeass: unlike you

kicknamestakeass: mr. failed rockstar

rockboi: yeah, about that

rockboi: alita why did your puppet boyfriend get into the new band and i didnt?

battleangel: because theyre desperate for members

battleangel: wocky is a useless little piece of trash

battleangel: they wouldnt accept him in for 'him'

battleangel: they just need more instruments

anactualdemon: kristoph, any input?

nailpolishpoison: what am i supposed to say?

nailpolishpoison: by this point our whole plan fell apart

nailpolishpoison: we need a new one

nailpolishpoison: and lets state it clearly this time: what is it exactly we want

anactualdemon: influance

anactualdemon: but it seems too late for franziska von karma

nailpolishpoison: who can give us infulance?

anactualdemon: the band the newspaper or the council

anactualdemon: two of which we already cant be in

anactualdemon: but we could still get into the paper

nailpolishpoison: now – how?

anactualdemon: i dont know

anactualdemon: why is it me always coming up with ideas?

anactualdemon: ask mr. acting gig

kicknamestakeass: i can stil cancel the blackmail on phoenix

kicknamestakeass: change the request, but it might take another week

anactualdemon: no, phoenix is at the centre of a pretty popular group of people

anactualdemon: he could be useful

anactualdemon: im pretty sure we could get into the paper without anything like that

battleangel: i can get in

anactualdemon: how so?

battleangel: i have a lot of experiance with getting information

battleangel: if i bring them something theyll like i could even replace their writer

battleangel: and of course, you would get your hands on all the info way before the articles come out

anactualdemon: ahhh

anactualdemon: alright, do your thing alita

anactualdemon: ok, another thing

anactualdemon: how can we use the blackmail on wright?

rockboi: well, getting phoenix in your grasp alone wont do much

rockboi: his little friends will get it sorted out straight away

anactualdemon: okay, then can we use the blackmail on anyone else?

kicknamestakeass: or could we... not use the blackmail...

kicknamestakeass: but instead, take this opportunity to find out something juicy

anactualdemon: stop being cryptic and cough it up engarde

kicknamestakeass: the phantom

kicknamestakeass: can you imagine what we could do if we knew his true identity?

anactualdemon: go on...

kicknamestakeass: we know what hes looking for and who hes looking into

kicknamestakeass: we can easily figure out who he is

kicknamestakeass: just pay attention to whos..... how do i say this....

kicknamestakeass: a little more alert around mr. wright.

anactualdemon: youre probably making a really smug face right now

anactualdemon: and i hate it

anactualdemon: but i guess its a good idea

anactualdemon: thats our plan for next week

anactualdemon: this weekend, alita, get into the paper

battleangel: easy

kicknamestakeass: thats our new plan then

kicknamestakeass: whoever this phantom is...

kicknamestakeass: he wont stay annonymous for long

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Friday, 8:42 PM

 

childofmagic: EVERYONE COME DOWN TO THE LIVING ROOM

childofmagic: WERE WATCHING AHS

imfine: ok ok calm down !!!

imfine: everyone is still changing !!!

burgerqueen: yeah!

burgerqueen: how did you change so fast???

childofmagic: i know all the techniques!

childofmagic: one of my magic tricks requires me to change in ten seconds!

childofmagic: i guess ill just wait here!

childofmagic: but whoever makes it first gets to sit on the couch or one of the armchairs!!!

childofmagic: theres only two of them !!!

pinecone: you said youd put pillows and blankets on the floor !!!

pinecone: so i dont mind sitting there...

sunshines: can i borrow a shirt from you truce?

childofmagic: why???

sunshines: i got water on mine

childofmagic: how?!?!?!?

sunshines: your fish

sunshines: you have a fishtank in one of the bathrooms

childofmagic: did you break the tank???

sunshines: no

sunshines: one of the fish jumped and splooshed me

boobitch: how did a fish do that???

sunshines: its a giant fish

childofmagic: ah it must be thicco!!!

sunshines: ???

imfine: its our biggest fish

imfine: his name is rico tho idk why she calls him thicco

childofmagic: because hes thicc

childofmagic: so hes thicco

imfine: thats not his name

childofmagic: thicco the fish

imfine: no one else calls him that

childofmagic: uncle valant does !!!

imfine: hes a weirdo he doesnt count

childofmagic: well anyway !!!

childofmagic: just go to my room pick out anything you like thena !!!

sunshines: cheers <33333

gobo: why is there so many tophats in this room????

childofmagic: ah, you must have found the closet!

childofmagic: thats where apollo spent most of his life!

boobitch: BIG FUCKING YIKES

nicknackpattywack: honestly same

spaceboy: sameeeee

burgerqueen: me tho

boobitch: all of you children are pussies

boobitch: we real ones dont do 'coming out'

boobitch: we just go out and get some

burgerqueen: EASY FOR YOU TO SAY HETERO

boobitch: ???

boobitch: no one present at this sleepover is straight

imfine: but diego tho?

gobo: nope

spaceboy: ([dontdothatdontgivemehope.jpg](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/030/019/dont.jpg))

gobo: WHAT

spaceboy: just a joke hermano

imfine: clay can you stop being horny for ONE FUCKING SECOND

spaceboy: ([perhaps.jpg](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/398/111/d5a))

gobo: anyways, you say its a closet

gobo: but its all tophats?????

childofmagic: its the tophat closet!

burgerqueen: youre so rich you have a closet just for tophats???

childofmagic: were magicians!

childofmagic: tophats are very important!!!

gravyravy: von douchebag always makes you take yours off in his class tho...

gravyravy: he says its 'inappropiate'

childofmagic: yeah, and then my hair is all messy!

childofmagic: i hateeee it!!!!

gravyravy: you look good no matter what love <3

boobitch: phoenix how is it that a 14 year old is more romantic than you?

nicknackpattywack: shes a girl

boobitch: ???

nicknackpattywack: shes a little lesbian

nicknackpattywack: im an old bi bitch

boobitch: old????

boobitch: YOU ARE 17 YEARS OLD

boobitch: the only person whos old here is diego

gobo: oi

boobitch: youre the oldest here get over yourself

gobo: but its not my fault i skipped a year of my life >:(((((

boobitch: lol

boobitch: anyway, we should really get this show on the road

childofmagic: i agree with boobs lady!

boobitch: djfhfjhf

boobitch: but

boobitch: ok

boobitch: if we are to describe me by my biggest body part

boobitch: then we will do it for everyone

boobitch: now ass, get your ass down here

childofmagic: i dont know who youre talking about but i agree

boobitch: i wont tell

boobitch: you know who you are ass

childofmagic: THREE SPACES LEFT ON THE COUCH!

childofmagic: ANYONE WHO DOESNT MAKE IT DIESSSS

sunshines: and may the odds be ever in your favour

gravyravy: trucyyyyy do you want fluffy socks

childofmagic: i love you so much you know me so well and please never leave me

gravyravy: so thats a yes then

pianoman: herr forehead are u coming?

imfine: im in the kitchen getting snacks and drinks ready

imfine: truce come help me

childofmagic: oki doki

sunshines: DOKI DOKI

spaceboy: EVERY DAY I IMAGINE A FUTURE WHERE I CAN BE WITH YOU

littlemissperfect: would you like me to help?

imfine: youre a guest

imfine: dont worry about it

imfine: just make yourself comfortable

littlemissperfect: alright

littlemissperfect: thank you for your hospitality

imfine: no worries

imfine: thanks for coming

littlemissperfect: its all thanks to maya, really

burgerqueen: aw stopppp

childofmagic: pearly could you come over

childofmagic: i cant grab all these mugs

gravyravy: sureeeee

spaceboy: well, this is gonna be fun

sunshines: hell yeah!

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Friday, 9:45 PM

 

burgerqueen: okay okay i didnt wanna make a big deal out of this on the main chat

burgerqueen: or whisper cuz im scraed they would hear

burgerqueen: BUT LOOK AT HOW THENA IS HOLDING JUNIE

burgerqueen: AH THEYRE SO ADORABLE MY HEARTTTT

burgerqueen: I NEED A GF NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

boobitch: well, franziska is right here

boobitch: shes leaving tommorow, so shoot your shot maya

burgerqueen: you think she likes me?

boobitch: of course!

boobitch: also

boobitch: is klavier holding apollo's hand?

gobo: i think so????

gobo: thats tea tho

nicknackpattywack: are they dating?

boobitch: we probably shouldnt get involed

boobitch: some people like to be low key abotu that sort of stuff

nicknackpattywack: fair.

nicknackpattywack: athena is holding junie

nicknackpattywack: diego got your arm around you and all

nicknackpattywack: klavier and apollo holding hands like that...

nicknackpattywack: everyone has partners and im just here like T-T

boobitch: well, how are you and edgeworth doing?

nicknackpattywack: eh

nicknackpattywack: not good

nicknackpattywack: not bad

nicknackpattywack: look this is getting interesting so

boobitch: dont ignore me spike boy

nicknackpattywack: were not doing anything

nicknackpattywack: we havent even talked once

burgerqueen: aw

burgerqueen: well i hope youd0wpkd

nicknackpattywack: maya???

burgerqueen: i just realized franzy fell asleep on my shoulder WHAT DO I DO

nicknackpattywack: awwww

burgerqueen: wait

burgerqueen: wait shes not asleep

burgerqueen: SHE HAS HER HEAD ON MY SHOULDER ON PURPOSE

burgerqueen: DODIODDDO

boobitch: earlier you asked if she liked you

boobitch: well there you go

boobitch: go get em tiger

nicknackpattywack: yeah! we better see some conffesions TONIGHT

gobo: THERES TOO MANY LESBIANS IN THIS PLACE

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 5

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

 

Friday, 9:51 PM

 

_spaceboy added pianoman_

 

spaceboy: welcome to the cult man

spaceboy: anyway

spaceboy: wagwan lads lets chat shit about the other group

sunshines: well first off mia and diego are a power couple

spaceboy: Y E S

spaceboy: theyre so cute and just???

spaceboy: support each other and ????

spaceboy: my otp

pinecone: look at how franziska put her head on maya's shoulder !!!

pinecone: ahhhh

pinecone: im just... ah....

imfine: klav we could be like this but you playin

pianoman: if i do that to you your nose will start bleeding

imfine: fair.

spaceboy: HAHAHAHAHHA

spaceboy: CALLED. OUT.

sunshines: but pearly and truce

imfine: ikrrrrr

sunshines: also??? diego just like took his mask off and fell asleep????

spaceboy: MOOD

pinecone: gmmgmgm

pinecone: im tired too...

pinecone: im drifting off...

sunshines: here come sleep on my lap

pinecone: gmgmgmgmg i love you

sunshines: i luv u too <3

childofmagic: GUYS! PAY ATTENTION AND WATCH!

childofmagic: YALL ON YOUR PHONES COME ON!!!!

sunshines: ahhhh okay dont hit me

imfine: hahahahah owned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPIKY TWINK EXTRAS IS OFFICIALLY HERE!!!
> 
> >>> https://archiveofourown.org/works/19441150/chapters/46270858 <<<
> 
> THE FIRST STORY IS ALREADY WRITTEN AND I'M OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS !!!
> 
> It took some time because I got busy watching Minecraft Mondays, trying to figure out why Vikk and Techno are so damn good, ha ha.  
> #teamsparklez for life, in case you're wondering.


	18. heckidy heckin tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> childofmagic: clay let her out
> 
> childofmagic: she needs to be with her girlfriend
> 
> spaceboy: fine
> 
> spaceboy: just because i believe in soft lesbians
> 
> spaceboy: but watch yourself mccoy
> 
> burgerqueen: r/unexpectedmulaney
> 
> nicknackpattywack: thats a real sub???
> 
> burgerqueen: yep

Private Chat Between Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect) And Miles Edgeworth (Miles)

 

Friday, 9:59 PM

 

Miles: So, how are you?

littlemissperfect: okay

littlemissperfect: they are being very nice to me...

littlemissperfect: its a little overwhelming

Miles: When are you coming back?

littlemissperfect: tommorow morning

littlemissperfect: did father say anything?

Miles: No

Miles: I told him you went somewhere to study and then stayed over because the person lived far away. He was a bit annoyed but nothing out of the ordinary

littlemissperfect: alright...

littlemissperfect: thank you

littlemissperfect: and you know, i never meant those foolish things

littlemissperfect: you really are my brother

Miles: I know. I know.

Miles: Just... Go and have fun

Miles: I'll see you tommorow.

littlemissperfect: alright

littlemissperfect: thank you again

Miles: Just go

Miles: It's nothing.

Miles: Really.

littlemissperfect: see you, i guess

littlemissperfect: oh, and phoenix is here

littlemissperfect: he was talking about you to his friends..

Miles: Expected as much. Don't worry about it. Have a good night.

littlemissperfect: good night.

 

Private Chat Between Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl) And Ema Skye (skyence)

 

Friday, 10:01 PM

 

stealyoshitgirl: hey m&m

skyence: hi kk

skyence: its been a while

stealyoshitgirl: yeah

stealyoshitgirl: but im in your school now!

skyence: too bad were a year apart, huh?

stealyoshitgirl: yep

stealyoshitgirl: so, how have you been?

stealyoshitgirl: we havent talked since you left our middle school

skyence: yeah, sorry about that

skyence: guess going to different schools was enought to pull us apart, huh?

stealyoshitgirl: yep

stealyoshitgirl: well?

skyence: if im to be honest

skyence: im not doing so good

skyence: i dont have a lot of friends in my class...

skyence: lana keeps telling me i need to talk to people more, but i just dont wanna

stealyoshitgirl: guess no one can replace me, huh?

skyence: haha, yeah

stealyoshitgirl: well youve got some nice people in your class, right?

skyence: as if

skyence: wocky kitaki, alita tiala, daryan cresend

skyence: i guess theres apollo, athena, juniper and clay, but theyve got their own little thing

skyence: everyone here is in cliques. and i just cant find my place in any of them.

stealyoshitgirl: thats...

stealyoshitgirl: not good

stealyoshitgirl: are you alright?

skyence: meh

skyence: its not like i need friends

skyence: they dissapoint me

stealyoshitgirl: lol, nice vine there

stealyoshitgirl: but for real ema

stealyoshitgirl: are you alright with that?

skyence: would anyone be alright with being so lonely?

skyence: here, let me ask you

skyence: have you got any friends?

stealyoshitgirl: well... theres ray

stealyoshitgirl: we talked and he introduced me to gummy, lang and franzy

stealyoshitgirl: and i met this boy

stealyoshitgirl: sebastian

stealyoshitgirl: hes nice... but his self esteem is way down there

stealyoshitgirl: i guess i just want to help him, thats why im friends with im

skyence: sebastian as in sebastian debeste?

stealyoshitgirl: yep

stealyoshitgirl: mr debeste's son

skyence: i see

skyence: well

skyence: hope it works out for all of you

skyence: glad to see youre doing well

skyence: my freshman year was awful

stealyoshitgirl: how so?

skyence: well

skyence: it

skyence: it doesnt matter

skyence: i just

skyence: i studied a lot

skyence: and

skyence: i didnt even realize when i missed my chance to make friends

skyence: and now its too late

skyence: im an outcast

stealyoshitgirl: does anyone bother you about it?

skyence: nah

skyence: theres a difference between being a freak and being invisible

skyence: people wont bully you for not existing

skyence: no friends means no enemies

skyence: im just

skyence: there

stealyoshitgirl: you...

stealyoshitgirl: you dont seem to be okay

skyence: i guess

skyence: again

skyence: lana keeps telling me to talk to people

skyence: easy for her to say, shes in senior year

skyence: everyone there is an adult. they know what theyre doing. theyre grown up enough to know how people act and how to make friends.

skyence: they dont have 'popular' and 'outcast'

skyence: they just are

skyence: i wish we could be like that

skyence: but ill have to deal with being alone for now.

stealyoshitgirl: how are you and lana doing, anyway?

skyence: ...

skyence: you know what kind of person lana is, right?

stealyoshitgirl: a little rough around the edges, but still a kind person?

skyence: thats what she used to be

skyence: but ever since her and mia broke up, shes been...

skyence: sour

skyence: cold

skyence: i barely recognize her

skyence: but thats fine

skyence: and i noticed her rubbing off on me

skyence: when people actually try to be nice to me...

skyence: i snap back, im grumpy, angry all the time

skyence: i just scare people away

skyence: i just feel so

skyence: tired all the time, you know?

skyence: so tired and sad and i dont get why

stealyoshitgirl: do you think you might be..?

skyence: no, no way

skyence: i dunno

skyence: guess im just overworked

skyence: dont wanna weigh you down with my problems

skyence: dont worry about it

stealyoshitgirl: ema?

skyence: yeah?

stealyoshitgirl: lets talk more. i miss you.

skyence: how can i argue with that?

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Friday, 10:32 PM

 

childofmagic: hello contestants

childofmagic: would you like to play a game?

nicknackpattywack: ???

childofmagic: as you can see, 5 of the people present have fallen asleep

childofmagic: LETS DRAW DICKS ON THEIR FACES

imfine: trucy, no

childofmagic: TRUCY YES

sunshines: touch my soft girl and ill burn you

boobitch: cant we just watch this episode till the end and go to sleep???

childofmagic: come on, we gotta draw on someone!

sunshines: well, if we must

sunshines: i vote clay

imfine: yep

sunshines: oh for sure

boobitch: totally

childofmagic: just be quiet and let me do my thing

childofmagic: ill go get markers

burgerqueen: you are an evil, evil woman trucy

childofmagic: mweheheheheh

childofmagic: thank you

childofmagic: ok ok im coming back

childofmagic: here i go

childofmagic: everyone be quiet dont say anything

childofmagic: (clayfeatthedicks.jpg)

imfine: ooooh we can use this

childofmagic: indeed we can

childofmagic: but mia is right

childofmagic: lets finish this episode and go to bed

childofmagic: also when clay wakes up NO ONE TELL HIM

 

Friday, 10:27 PM

 

spaceboy: WHAT THE FUCK

childofmagic: HE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR EVERYONE RUNNNN

childofmagic: GO AND HIDE QUICKKKKKK

imfine: JESUS CHRIST HE GOT ATHENA

childofmagic: SAVE YOURSELF POLLY

childofmagic: SHES DEAD

childofmagic: clay step AWAY FROM THE BODY

childofmagic: OR I SHALL USE MY SECRET WEAPON

childofmagic: (clayfeatthedicks.jpg)

spaceboy: ([deletthis.jpg](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/178/842/ed4.png))

gobo: is that todd howard

nicknackpattywack: look who woke up

gobo: not for long

gobo: im going right back to sleep

gobo: im just switching from the couch to the bed

sunshines: mood

childofmagic: THENA YOURE ALIVE

sunshines: hiding in the tophat closet but yes

sunshines: im alive

childofmagic: clay let her out

childofmagic: she needs to be with her girlfriend

spaceboy: fine

spaceboy: just because i believe in soft lesbians

spaceboy: but watch yourself mccoy

burgerqueen: r/unexpectedmulaney

nicknackpattywack: thats a real sub???

burgerqueen: yep

spaceboy: welp im tired as heckidy heck

spaceboy: goodnight everyone

childofmagic: are you gonna wash the dicks off?

spaceboy: cant be bothered

spaceboy: ill do it in the morning

sunshines: imma sleep too

sunshines: nigth peeps

 

Private Chat Between Maya Fey (burgerqueen) And Mia Fey (boobitch)

 

Friday, 11:42 PM

 

burgequeen: just saw you walk down to the kitchen

burgequeen: whats going on???

boobitch: nothin

boobitch: im just getting water

boobitch: you arent asleep yet?

burgequeen: no

burgequeen: ive been thinking

boobitch: about?

burgequeen: well, i did what i said i would do

burgequeen: i told franzy how i felt

boobitch: and?

burgequeen: well, at first i thought it was good

burgequeen: she said she liked me too, and

burgequeen: i was so happy, you know?

burgequeen: i was gonna tell you but then

burgequeen: i noticed she wasn't saying anything else

burgequeen: so i asked her if she was okay

burgequeen: and i asked her what we should do next

burgequeen: and she sort of

burgequeen: went silent for a while

burgequeen: and then

burgequeen: she started crying

boobitch: ?

burgequeen: she told me she was scared of being in a relationship

boobitch: im guessing von douche is a homophobic piece of shit?

burgequeen: thats what i thought

burgequeen: but she told me that he didnt care about that

burgequeen: the thing is he doesnt want her in ANY relationship

burgequeen: because its 'distracting'

boobitch: thats bullshit

burgequeen: yeah so i just

burgequeen: kind of hugged her

burgequeen: told her it would be okay

burgequeen: she doesnt want to stop hanging out but we cant be open about it

burgequeen: so dont tell anyone, ok?

burgequeen: not even mom, or nick, or pearly, no one at all, ok?

boobitch: guess this is a sister secret

burgequeen: james charles much?

boobitch: ha ha

boobitch: dont worry about it. i can keep a secret

boobitch: so, are you dating now or what?

burgequeen: i dunno but i she fell asleep while i was hugging her and now i have my arm around her

boobitch: sounds pretty gay to me

burgequeen: no kidding... well see how it goes

burgequeen: but, it a secret, ok?

boobitch: okay, no one will know. promise.

burgequeen: thanks mia

boobitch: anything for you sis

 

Groupchat: we are lesbians (we thought we were AMERICANS???)

Members: 9

Description: we must get maya a girlfriend

 

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Iris Fey (irishgay)

*Vera Misham (tumblrartist)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Adrian Andrews (awkward)

*Celsete Inpax (motorcyclebabe)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

 

Saturday, 1:32 AM

 

irishgay: does anyone want to meet up tmrw?

irishgay: well, today i guess

tumblrartist: id love to!

motorcyclebabe: same here

awkward: it would be fun

burgerqueen: why is this chat always the most active at night?

childofmagic: dont you know maya?

childofmagic: freaks come out at night

gravyravy: how did your thing with franzy go?

burgerqueen: well

burgerqueen: um

burgerqueen: not so good

burgerqueen: were gonna stay friends

pinecone: aw...

sunshines: thats too bad

sunshines: dont worry about it, though.

tumblrartist: lots of fish in the sea, maya

burgerqueen: yeah

burgerqueen: i know

burgerqueen: dont worry, im not sad

burgerqueen: i didnt really have a chance in the first place, haha

awkward: dont say that!

childofmagic: well, girls

childofmagic: lets leave her to it

irishgay: yeah...

irishgay: and whoever wants, come to my house at 2 tmrw!

irishgay: goodnight all <3

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) And The Phantom (???)

 

Saturday, 3:01 AM

 

kicknamestakeass: how do you do

???: hello, mr engarde

kicknamestakeass: hope youre working hard

???: im very close to discovering something important

???: just give me a few more days

kicknamestakeass: you said youd have something by this point...

???: well, i dont

???: this isnt exactly the kind of thing i can just hurry up

???: plus, some people are getting suspicious

???: i need more time

kicknamestakeass: yeah yeah

kicknamestakeass: alright

kicknamestakeass: im busy this weekend anyway

kicknamestakeass: have fun

???: i assure you, i wont

kicknamestakeass: hahahahaha

kicknamestakeass: why do you need the money, anyway?

kicknamestakeass: family member in hospital?

kicknamestakeass: debt?

kicknamestakeass: something in your past that has to be taken care of?

kicknamestakeass: ah, the things people will do for money...

kicknamestakeass: this is why i love show biz

kicknamestakeass: everyone will do what you need if you just sprinkle some dollars on top

kicknamestakeass: something my dad taught me

???: i dont care

kicknamestakeass: oh i know you dont

kicknamestakeass: but youll listen

kicknamestakeass: you dont want me to cancel the request, after all

kicknamestakeass: once im an actor, ill be able to do anything at all...

kicknamestakeass: so, what do you need the money for?

???: goodnight, mr engarde

kicknamestakeass: whatever it is... i could pay in full

kicknamestakeass: if you gave me your identity

???: im need money, yes

???: but i dont need it that badly

???: now, let me work

kicknamestakeass: sure sure

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) And Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

 

Saturday, 3:21 AM

 

anactualdemon: anything new?

kicknamestakeass: all i know is hes desperate for money

kicknamestakeass: probably one of those cliche reasons

kicknamestakeass: paying off your mother's debt... a little brother in hospital

kicknamestakeass: something of that sort

anactualdemon: figured as much

anactualdemon: if we could get what year hes in, we could easily pin him down

anactualdemon: look into everyone's backgrounds

kicknamestakeass: whats most likely?

anactualdemon: well, a lot of the seniors have sappy stories and family problems

kicknamestakeass: examples?

anactualdemon: well, diego armando for one

anactualdemon: his mother is in debt because of his operation 3 years ago

anactualdemon: lana apparently has to pay for..... someone

anactualdemon: i dont know the details, all i know is shes balancing school and part time

anactualdemon: could be her sister, dont know what shes paying for, tho

anactualdemon: simon blackquill only has his sister left

anactualdemon: they barely get by from what ive heard

anactualdemon: senior year is just full of sappy backstories

kicknamestakeass: huh

kicknamestakeass: then lets say its senior year

kicknamestakeass: whos most likely?

anactualdemon: id say lana skye and diego armando are our best picks.

kicknamestakeass: well lets look into them then

kicknamestakeass: night dollie

anactualdemon: night

anactualdemon: oh, and have fun at your acting gig or... whatever

kicknamestakeass: wow, dahlia hawthorne is being nice

anactualdemon: stfu before i change my mind

kicknamestakeass: its not like its something fun

kicknamestakeass: just some advert

kicknamestakeass: well, better that than nothing

kicknamestakeass: dad wants to build up my cv so i can go straight into movies when i graduated

anactualdemon: i see

anactualdemon: well, once again... have a goonight

kicknamestakeass: ill try

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support on this fic! 
> 
> Also thanks for the support on the Extras! I didn't think they would be liked as much as they were!
> 
> A new chapter has been posted there already, so go and check it out if you're interested.
> 
> Also, random, but, for anyone keeping up with Minecraft Mondays: Who's streams do you like the most? I've been watching PewDiePie (in week 2, at least), WillNE and Captain Sparklez, but was also considering DanTDM. I also heard Vikk's are good, but idk. Suggestions?


	19. some very special ice cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sunshines: come on guys! were all equally gay!
> 
> sunshines: even diego!
> 
> gobo: *chokes*
> 
> gobo: i feel so vALID
> 
> pianoman: WERE ALL VALID AND GAY
> 
> sunshines: YES

Private Chat Between Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen) And Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Saturday, 5:06 AM

 

dancingqueen: nahyuta

dancingqueen: NAHYUTA

dancingqueen: BRAID HEAD

elsa: rayfa ITS 5 AM

dancingqueen: so?

dancingqueen: i wake up like this normally

elsa: youre on vacation

elsa: come on, have a lay-in

dancingqueen: LISTEN TO ME

dancingqueen: im trying to take a shower

dancingqueen: BUT I DONT KNOW HOW THE SHOWER WORKS

elsa: cant you leave it until the morning?

dancingqueen: but it IS morning brother

elsa: no rayfa

elsa: its 5 AM

elsa: on a saturday

dancingqueen: yeah!

dancingqueen: thats morning!

elsa: not on a saturday morning its not

elsa: ive had the most tiring week of my life

elsa: i beg

elsa: let me sleep

dancingqueen: pleaseeeee yuty

dancingqueen: i need to take a shower

elsa: cant you ask dad for help

dancingqueen: no because him and datz fell asleep next to each other and i dont wanna disturb that

elsa: i see your point

elsa: fine, ill help you

elsa: just dont make fun of my hair

dancingqueen: sure sure

 

Saturday, 6:01 AM

 

elsa: RAYFA I WILL END YOU

dancingqueen: AHAHAHHAAHAHAHHA

elsa: OPEN THE DOOR

dancingqueen: OHHHHHHHH

dancingqueen: BIG BROTHER JUST GOT OWNEDDDDD

dancingqueen: AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

elsa: its not like you can do anything with that picture

dancingqueen: of course i can!

dancingqueen: when i 'borrowed' your phone yesterday

dancingqueen: I TOOK DOWN YOUR FRIENDS' NUMBERS

elsa: I TRUSTED YOU

dancingqueen: YOUVE MADE A MISTAKE BIG BROTHER

dancingqueen: HERE I GOOOOOO

elsa: nononononoonononono

elsa: FUCK

 

Groupchat: TBD

Members: 3

Description: TBD

 

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

 

Saturday, 6:02 AM

 

dancingqueen: (nahyutasbadhairday1.jpg)

dancingqueen: (nahyutasbadhairday2.jpg)

dancingqueen: (nahyutasbadhairday3.jpg)

dancingqueen: (nahyutasbadhairday4.jpg)

dancingqueen: (nahyutasbadhairday5.jpg)

dancingqueen: enjoy bois

simonsays: i dont know who you are

simonsays: but thank you for this

injusticewetrust: i love how he starts chasing her as the pics progress

simonsays: her???

injusticewetrust: this is obviosuly his sister

dancingqueen: princess rayfa reporting for duty!

simonsays: huh

simonsays: guess that makes sense

simonsays: im just too tired to think

dancingqueen: mwehehehe

simonsays: i didnt know yuty's hair was THAT messy in the mornings

dancingqueen: actually, today its quite average

dancingqueen: but it is to be expected, with the amount of hair he has

simonsays: hold on hold on

 

_simonsays added elsa_

 

simonsays: nahyuta why dont you donate your hair to kids with cancer

elsa: wh

elsa: what

simonsays: cut your hair

elsa: no

simonsays: why

elsa: i dont wanna

simonsays: so you dont care about kids with cancer???

elsa: simon its 6 in the morning

injusticewetrust: YUTY!

injusticewetrust: THATS SO MEAN!

elsa: wh

elsa: what kindof sin did i commit to deserve this

dancingqueen: he he he he he !!!!!!

dancingqueen: this is the curse of having A LITTLE SISTER

elsa: mmgggggg save me

elsa: i didnt ask for this

simonsays: hahahaha

simonsays: weak

 

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 8:31

 

boobitch: a yo where you at

gobo: i didnt think youd wake up this early

gobo: im downstairs

boobitch: making coffee?

gobo: no

gobo: tea

gobo: what kind of beverage do you think I could be getting in the morning

boobitch: damn bitch okay

boobitch: you want some salt with that salt?

gobo: sorry

gobo: im just really tired

gobo: i didnt get any sleep last night

boobitch: i know you didnt

boobitch: you never do

boobitch: eh, anyway

boobitch: do you know what were doing today?

gobo: i met trucy downstairs

gobo: she said were all going to the mall

boobitch: i can already tell this is gonna be a mess

gobo: no joke

gobo: and probably most of our school will be there

gobo: i mean its saturday...

boobitch: duh

boobitch: anyways, did you even sleep a little bit last night?

gobo: a little

gobo: the headache didnt go away

boobitch: hm

boobitch: im sorry

gobo: dont worry about it

gobo: thanks for getting me water btw

boobitch: no prob

boobitch: hey

boobitch: you know how phoenix has been asking about us?

gobo: yeah, and?

boobitch: it got me thinking

boobitch: remember how we met?

gobo: of course

boobitch: no

boobitch: i mean, met _met_

gobo: as in...

gobo: first week of sophmore year, wednesday?

boobitch: oh wow

boobitch: you remember it better than i do

gobo: yeah

gobo: simon and his little goons were laughing at you because of the whole dl-6 thing

gobo: talking about your mother and all

boobitch: and you scared them off

boobitch: and you got me ice cream to make me feel better

gobo: it was strawberry

boobitch: yeah

boobitch: i know

boobitch: i remember

boobitch: but...

boobitch: it was only a month after you woke up, right?

boobitch: so... you still treated simon as...

gobo: wanna know the truth?

gobo: i woke up and my mom was there

gobo: but as soon as she left first thing i did was text him

gobo: and he never replied

boobitch: why not?

gobo: i...

gobo: i dont know

gobo: and when i saw him, that time... it was the first time since before the accident

gobo: so when he didnt even say a single word...

gobo: i guess it was like a silent agreement

gobo: an agreement that all that was between us was in the past

gobo: and then he called his goons off, but...

gobo: he walked away too...

boobitch: you didnt have to help me then

gobo: i guess

gobo: but theres a reason i did

gobo: before the accident, i was like simon

gobo: going around, intimidating everyone

gobo: scaring people

gobo: going to parties, getting in fights

gobo: but my dad... when he...

gobo: i dont know

gobo: i guess it was a wake-up call

gobo: and in that moment, i thought to myself,

gobo: 'if i want to change, i have to start somewhere'

boobitch: well

boobitch: im glad you made that choice

gobo: ha ha

boobitch: so...

boobitch: simon never spoke to you again?

gobo: ...

gobo: i woke up in the middle of summer and spent all that time trying to get back into things

gobo: first week or two was just trying to start functioning normally

gobo: then going all sorts of places, eating all sorts of foods...

gobo: working at the coffee shop so i could interact with people

gobo: those were... busy, messy days

gobo: and despite this

gobo: every day

gobo: 'please lets talk' 'please come visit me' 'hey, its diego, im awake, lets talk'

gobo: and nothing

boobitch: do you know why?

gobo: no

gobo: so when i saw him then

gobo: i was angry

gobo: i guess...

gobo: i just thought, if i helped you

gobo: and went against him..

gobo: it would be like pay back

boobitch: i see

boobitch: and then, after we met?

boobitch: nothing?

gobo: he wouldnt even look at me

gobo: wouldnt be nice to me, or mean

gobo: nothing

gobo: like i didnt exist

boobitch: im

boobitch: im sorry

gobo: but there was one time

boobitch: ?

gobo: on the senior graduation day

gobo: remember, you, me, phoenix and pearl were standing around in front of the school?

gobo: we were waiting for pearl's mom, and she was waiting for valerie?

boobitch: yeah

gobo: well you four went off to talk to misty...

gobo: and he...

gobo: he came up to me

boobitch: he did?

boobitch: you never told me this...

gobo: i...

gobo: i know, im sorry

gobo: anyway...

gobo: he didnt say anything

gobo: he just...

gobo: he gave me something

boobitch: what was it?

gobo: a ring

gobo: we got matching rings once

gobo: i payed for them

gobo: and he gave it to me, and said

gobo: 'found this in my trash. figured youd want it back'

gobo: and that was it...

boobitch: so that ring you wear...?

gobo: i dont know why i kept it

gobo: i

gobo: whatever

gobo: when he gave me back that ring, i guess i just knew for sure

gobo: i just wish hed done it earlier

gobo: to be honest, when i first started dating you

gobo: i was still worried

gobo: that he would come back, and want to rekindle that flame

gobo: but this time i was sure

boobitch: sorry for asking...

gobo: well, you already knew the rest of the story

gobo: its better if i just tell you everything in full

gobo: and hey, that day, when we met

boobitch: it was simon, valerie and redd

gobo: oh

gobo: how did they find out about your mother?

boobitch: ....

boobitch: i dont... know...

boobitch: but im sure it was white with that rich dad of his

boobitch: doesnt matter

boobitch: that was a good 3 years ago

boobitch: i only associate good things with that memory now

gobo: well, what sort of things?

boobitch: hmmm

boobitch: lets see here...

boobitch: well, there was you

boobitch: coming in, standing up for me

boobitch: you went 1 against 3... you looked badass

boobitch: there was sitting on the stairs and bawling my eyes out

boobitch: trying to speak coherently to you, and failing

boobitch: and...

boobitch: the ice cream

boobitch: the strawberry ice cream

boobitch: it had sprinkles on it...

boobitch: and a little piece of chocolate stuck into it

boobitch: we were sitting in the ice cream palor by the school

boobitch: the one near the coffee shop

boobitch: we sat at the third outside table from the door

boobitch: the lady serving us was ginger

boobitch: blue eyes, freckles

boobitch: her name was annie

gobo: wow.

gobo: you really did enjoy that ice cream.

boobitch: no kidding.

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 10:11 AM

 

childofmagic: OK EVERYONE COME DOWN FOR BREAKFAST AND THEN WERE GOING TO THE MALL GO GO GO

burgerqueen: jesus relax

burgerqueen: whats for brekkies?

childofmagic: pankies

childofmagic: a classic

imfine: aka pancakes, with maple syrup or chocolate if you want and coffee/cocoa or tea

burgerqueen: ew who drinks tea for breakfast

littlemissperfect: i do...

burgerqueen: nevermind

burgerqueen: drinking tea for breakfast is valid

nicknackpattywack: i drink tea for breakfast

burgerqueen: unless youre nick then no

nicknackpattywack: why am i always the punching bag

spaceboy: no more dicks on my face

spaceboy: not ones drawn in marker, at least, youknowhwatimsayingggg

sunshines: clay THINK OF THE CHILDREN

gravyravy: im pure and have been ruined by this

childofmagic: CLAY IF YOU TREAT MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THIS YOU WILL GET MORE OF THOSE DICKS ON YOUR FACE

spaceboy: please

gobo: chaotic

pianoman: you act a lot like remus from sanders sides

pinecone: why does everyone like this 'sanders sides' so much?

pianoman: watch it and youll understand

pianoman: its basically gay culture

pinecone: but im bi...

pianoman: gurl thats 50% gay still dont worry bout it

childofmagic: what if youre pan???

pianoman: uh

pianoman: well

pianoman: id say like

pianoman: 0.1% gay?

childofmagic: but most genders are other genders

pianoman: that depends if you see gay as liking opposite gender or just different gender in general

pianoman: because if the latter pan is 99.9% gay

sunshines: come on guys! were all equally gay!

sunshines: even diego!

gobo: *chokes*

gobo: i feel so vALID

pianoman: WERE ALL VALID AND GAY

sunshines: YES

childofmagic: anyyyway

childofmagic: back to our scheduled programming

childofmagic: were hitting up the mall today

childofmagic: any of yall got any plans?

childofmagic: obviously were not gonna walk around in a big lump, so well split up into groups

pinecone: i need to get my granny a birthday gift

pinecone: would anyone like to come with me?

sunshines: you dont even have to ask babe

spaceboy: i guess ill go too

pianoman: i need to get some things for the band

pianoman: herr forehead youre coming with me

imfine: sureeee

childofmagic: im gonna go try on really neon clothes!

gobo: why?!?!?!?

childofmagic: because i have that sort of power

gravyravy: i wanna do that too!

littlemissperfect: ill be heading home after breakfast, if thats okay...

childofmagic: thats fine

childofmagic: dont worry about it babes

littlemissperfect: you guys have fun, though

childofmagic: OKAY OKAY

childofmagic: EVERYONE DOWN FOR BREAKFAST NOW

childofmagic: WE ONLY HAVE ONE BOTTLE OF MAPLE SYRUP LEFT

burgerqueen: get out of my way MY CANADIAN IS KICKING IN

 

Groupchat: TBD

Members: 4

Description: TBD

 

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Saturday, 11:45 AM

 

_dancingqueen changed group name to 'nahyuta's very bad, t errible, horrible, no good, very bad day'_

 

_ dancingqueen changed group description to 'im in america and WILL ruin my brothe's life' _

 

dancingqueen: hello, hello

dancingqueen: nahyuta's friends

dancingqueen: i heard you are spending the day together

injusticewetrust: yep

simonsays: we are

dancingqueen: well, surprise!

dancingqueen: im coming along, and were going to the mall!

elsa: just play along

elsa: shes only here for a week, let her have her fun

simonsays: oooohohohoho no dont worry yuty

simonsays: i am VERY excited about this

simonsays: yeah rayfa, lets go to the mall

dancingqueen: YAYYYY!!!!

dancingqueen: WERE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN !!!

elsa: youve made a mistake bird boy

simonsays: oh i know braid head

injusticewetrust: this sounds unjust.... but i love it >:)

 

Private Chat Between Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl) And Ema Skye (skyence)

 

Friday, 12:01 AM

 

stealyoshitgirl: morning m&m

stealyoshitgirl: me and my friends are going to the mall today

stealyoshitgirl: wanna join us?

skyence: i dunno...

skyence: i wouldnt want to be a bother...

stealyoshitgirl: oh, dont say that!

stealyoshitgirl: please, come along!

stealyoshitgirl: theyll love you!

skyence: ha ha

skyence: okay, one second

 

Friday, 12:05 AM

 

skyence: lana said i can go, so... see you soon, i guess!

stealyoshitgirl: see you soon! just like the old days!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is going to the mall at the same time because... Plot! And yes, Bobby, Simon and Nahyuta will be babysitting Rayfa for a week. And no, they're not okay with it.
> 
> I always say the most random things in these notes so time for another one!
> 
> I've been playing a lot of Stardew Valley. Mainly to rack up points for the Steam Summer Sale, but also because it's a wholesome and relaxing game !!! 10/10 can finally live out my lesbian farmer fantasies. Abigail is best girl and I'm trying to date her, but I've only got 4 hearts send chocolate cakes and amethysts QUICK-
> 
> Yeah. Life's good these days. Actually leaving my house tomorrow so there may be no chapter. Sowwy >-<
> 
> I don't know when these became a daily thing but here we are.
> 
> As always, thanks for the support and nice comments! I've talked too much so off I go!


	20. cuz i aint no hollaback girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> simonsays: OMG LOOK AT THAT BITCH GETTING DRAGGED OUT AHHAHAHAHAHH
> 
> dancingqueen: bitch?
> 
> dancingqueen: BITCH
> 
> elsa: SIMON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
> 
> elsa: GARAN WILL MURDER ME
> 
> dancingqueen: BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH

Private Chat Between Maya Fey (burgerqueen) And Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

 

Saturday, 1:21 PM

 

burgerqueen: thanks for coming along

burgerqueen: hope you had funnnn

littlemissperfect: it was nothing

littlemissperfect: thank you for inviting me

burgerqueen: hey franzy

littlemissperfect: ?

burgerqueen: its gon be ok

burgerqueen: i promise

burgerqueen: well figure this out

littlemissperfect: i sure hope so

littlemissperfect: have a good time at the mall

burgerqueen: i will

burgerqueen: should i throw an ice cream at nick

littlemissperfect: ha ha ha

littlemissperfect: do whatever you want to do may may

burgerqueen: okiiii

burgerqueen: well bai bai

littlemissperfect: see you

 

Private Chat Between Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack) And Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 1:32 PM

 

gobo: right then, are you ready?

nicknackpattywack: ready?

nicknackpattywack: ready for what?

gobo: what do you mean?

gobo: were going to the mall, you gotta get him a gift

nicknackpattywack: him?

gobo: why do i even bother

gobo: FOR MILES YA DINGUS

gobo: you want love, youre gonna have to get him something nice

nicknackpattywack: but i dont even know what????

gobo: thats why im coming with you spikey

gobo: were gonna get a gift for edgeworth TOGETHER

nicknackpattywack: no

nicknackpattywack: no pls

nicknackpattywack: not with you

gobo: how much money you got?

nicknackpattywack: i dunno

nicknackpattywack: i brought like $20

gobo: ok yes

gobo: that should work

nicknackpattywack: but

nicknackpattywack: ???

nicknackpattywack: what do i even get him??

gobo: RELAXXXX

gobo: i know how to do this

gobo: just trust me

gobo: what do you know about him?

nicknackpattywack: uhhh

nicknackpattywack: well, he loved debating

nicknackpattywack: likes english and history

nicknackpattywack: spends a lot of his time studying

nicknackpattywack: and he wants to be a prosecutor from what i heard

gobo: hahahahaha

gobo: boring

gobo: i mean, who would want to be a prosecutor?

gobo: not me, thats for sure

nicknackpattywack: hey!

gobo: come on, there must be something

nicknackpattywack: well...

nicknackpattywack: we were friends when we were kids, for a little

nicknackpattywack: and...

nicknackpattywack: he always liked the steel samurai

gobo: THERE YA GO

gobo: THATS THE KIND OF JUICE IM LOOKING FOR

gobo: NOW

gobo: what can you get him relating to that?

nicknackpattywack: i dunno... like... a keychain?

gobo: YES

gobo: ok

gobo: ok ok ok

gobo: thats a plan

nicknackpattywack: ughhhhh

nicknackpattywack: this is NOT a good idea

gobo: :)

nicknackpattywack: i hate you so much

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 1:45 PM

 

boobitch: so

boobitch: what are we doing bois

nicknackpattywack: immmm

nicknackpattywack: going to go do something

nicknackpattywack: sorry

boobitch: wow

boobitch: ok

boobitch: diego?

gobo: im doing something as well

boobitch: WOW

boobitch: DITCHED BY MY OWN BF

boobitch: ok, my lovely cousin, will you do something with me?

gravyravy: im gonna go try on clothes with truce...

boobitch: WILL MY SISTER

boobitch: DO SOMETHING WITH ME

burgerqueen: uh

burgerqueen: wanna get burgers and chat shit about strangers

boobitch: hell yeah

boobitch: lets go

gobo: pls dont cheat on me

boobitch: you too

nicknackpattywack: i dont understand your relationship

 

Groupchat: operation: remove the edge from edgeworth

Members: 6

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

 

Saturday, 1:59 PM

 

_stealyoshitgirl added skyence_

 

stealyoshitgirl: everyone say hello to ema shes a part of the squad now

suedeshoes: hello !!!

floof: sup

debesteboy: hi hi hi

littlemissperfect: hello

owo: hewo

stealyoshitgirl: lang

stealyoshitgirl: stop being a FUCKING FURRY for a SINGLE SECOND

owo: owo okie faraday-senpai uwu

 

_stealyoshitgirl removed owo_

 

stealyoshitgirl: im so sorry about him

skyence: ha ha, its fine

stealyoshitgirl: shes gonna come to the mall with us

skyence: what are we doing?

suedeshoes: well, you see, pal

suedeshoes: apparently, miles has to buy somethning for school, and he will be there

floof: and maya fey gave me insight that phoenix is gonna be at the mall, too!

debesteboy: were gonna try to set them up, somehow!!!

skyence: youre going in without a plan?

floof: pretty much, yeah

skyence: come on now!

skyence: we need to know what were doing!

skyence: here

 

_skyence added owo_

 

skyence: how do you want to set them up?

stealyoshitgirl: give them an opportunity to talk, face to face

skyence: okay, well

skyence: we need someone tracking both miles' and phoenix's movements

skyence: and see if we could do anything to have them bump into each other

stealyoshitgirl: okay, well...

stealyoshitgirl: the food court is over everything

stealyoshitgirl: you can see it all from there

stealyoshitgirl: me and sebastian can go up there and 'eat'

stealyoshitgirl: and watch everything

debesteboy: can we... actually eat...?

stealyoshitgirl: HELL YE

skyence: good

skyence: now, ray and gumshoe, you can do groundwork

skyence: get us as much info on why theyre here and for how long

floof: eh, guess i can do that

suedeshoes: yes!!!!

skyence: lang

owo: ????

skyence: you and me will take care of the set up

skyence: well do whatever we can to have them come to one spot

owo: ALRIGHT!

skyence: franziska?

skyence: are you coming to the mall?

littlemissperfect: actually...

littlemissperfect: miles said he has to bring me along...

littlemissperfect: father's request

skyence: YES!

skyence: YOU CAN DRAG HIM TO THE RIGHT SPOTS!

littlemissperfect: well...

littlemissperfect: i guess i can

skyence: then me and lang can just focus on phoenix

stealyoshitgirl: wow

stealyoshitgirl: ema, youre great at planning!

skyence: ha ha

skyence: thanks

skyence: so, we doing this?

stealyoshitgirl: hell yeah!

stealyoshitgirl: see you there squad!!!

stealyoshitgirl: OPERATION REMOVE THE EDGE FROM EDGEWORTH

stealyoshitgirl: HERE WE GOOOOOOO

debesteboy: yes !!!!!

littlemissperfect: ha ha, alright, lets do this....

skyence: here we gooooo

floof: wow now im hype

suedeshoes: sksskskksksksks YES PALS

owo: wooohoooooooooo

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 2:01 PM

 

pinecone: uhhhh

sunshines: come on junie

sunshines: lets just go

imfine: whats happening this time?

pinecone: well, clay saw a voltron figurine in a lego store

pinecone: and ended up taking pictures with it

sunshines: and then, he bought three of them and put them together

sunshines: RIGHT THERE

sunshines: ON THE FLOOR

pinecone: and now, hollaback girl is playing and hes dancing along with the figurines

sunshines: one in each hand and one on his head

pinecone: (claystop.mp4)

imfine: wh

imfine: why

boobitch: id like to clarify that when i say 'my sleep paralysis' demon

boobitch: THATS what i mean

burgerqueen: why did we ever agree to this outing

childofmagic: GUYS LOOK

childofmagic: (ohshitohshit.jpg)

gobo: oh, great

boobitch: what are dahlia and the gang doing here?

nicknackpattywack: even better

nicknackpattywack: why are there two kids watching me from mcdonalds upstairs

boobitch: wait what

boobitch: lemme

boobitch: just

boobitch: oh wow its kay faraday and sebastian debeste

gobo: oh no

gravyravy: is this a bad time to mention these four:

gravyravy: (hottopic&co.jpg)

spaceboy: nahyuta, simon, and bobby

spaceboy: whos the little girl tho?

gravyravy: i duno

gravyravy: but theyre buying her stuff

gravyravy: this is suss

gobo: *angry chris hansen noises*

spaceboy: ([chrishansen.jpg](https://images.complex.com/complex/image/upload/c_limit,dpr_auto,q_90,w_720/fl_lossy,pg_1/dzk3ngtj85ts1jwwfmd3.jpg))

gobo: “youve been bamboozled”

childofmagic: why is literally EVERYONE here?

pianoman: its SATURDAY and were TEENAGERS

pianoman: what do you think?

burgerqueen: i think i just saw franzy????

littlemissperfect: oh yeah... surprise, i guess

littlemissperfect: miles had to bring me along

littlemissperfect: but dont worry about it, were just here for a minute

littlemissperfect: dont mind me

burgerqueen: well, ok

burgerqueen: have fun i guess

littlemissperfect: i promise i wont

littlemissperfect: not with this fool, anyway

nicknackpattywack: ok but can we adress PEOPLE WATCHING ME

gobo: no spikey

gobo: what we SHOULD adress

gobo: is how miles is here

nicknackpattywack: no

nicknackpattywack: no way

nicknackpattywack: youre crazy

gobo: im just sayinnn

pianoman: shit

pianoman: shit shit shit

imfine: ?

pianoman: i think kristoph just saw me

pianoman: hes gonna make me go home and i

imfine: hey hey

imfine: relax

imfine: relax

imfine: we cant leave the store if hes standing there

gobo: ill take care of this

boobitch: thats ominous damn

gobo: spikey just wait for me

nicknackpattywack: ugh

nicknackpattywack: this is getting out of hand

 

Groupchat: nahyuta's very bad, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Members: 4

Description: im in america and WILL ruin my brothe's life

 

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Saturday, 2:03 PM

 

dancingqueen: im soooo hungryyyy

elsa: cant you wait 5 more minutes

elsa: im getting the food

dancingqueen: im bored tooooo

elsa: simon, entertain her

elsa: QUICK

simonsays: rayfa do you want to see my hawk KILL EVERYONE HERE

dancingqueen: YES

elsa: NOT LIKE THAT

simonsays: ok do you want to see him severly injure everyone here

dancingqueen: hm

dancingqueen: not as good, but ill take it

injusticewetrust: rayfa why are you such a little psychopath anyway

dancingqueen: i dunno

elsa: our uncle inga, whos like a father to her, is a big fan of executing poeple

elsa: dont ask

elsa: khura'in...

elsa: is strange

dancingqueen: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT OUR COUNTRY BROTHER

elsa: am i wrong tho

dancingqueen: well..

dancingqueen: no, quite right, actually

simonsays: oooooof

simonsays: i just saw kristoph punch diego

injusticewetrust: oh no !!! is he okay !!!!????

simonsays: that guy has been through hell

simonsays: i think one little punch wont knock him down

simonsays: OMG LOOK AT THAT BITCH GETTING DRAGGED OUT AHHAHAHAHAHH

dancingqueen: bitch?

dancingqueen: BITCH

elsa: SIMON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

elsa: GARAN WILL MURDER ME

dancingqueen: BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH

 

Groupchat: operation: remove the edge from edgeworth

Members: 6

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

 

Saturday, 2:04 AM

 

stealyoshitgirl: THIS IS IT THIS IS IT

stealyoshitgirl: PHOENIX IS ALONE I REPEAT PHOENIX IS ALONE

stealyoshitgirl: FRANZISKA, GET MILES INTO GAMESTOP

stealyoshitgirl: NOW

littlemissperfect: alright

littlemissperfect: ill tell him im going to the bathroom and will have him wait there

littlemissperfect: just give me a sign when its safe to go back

stealyoshitgirl: YES!!!!

stealyoshitgirl: lets do this !!!!

debesteboy: i feel like james bond skskksks

debesteboy: ALSO WHY IS THERE A HAWK GOING WILD IN HERE

stealyoshitgirl: dont ask questions just keep your head low

stealyoshitgirl: at least you can, HAVE YOU SEEN MY PONYTAIL????

debesteboy: take it down???

stealyoshitgirl: my hair looks awful d0OWIHDNIOWDGUB

stealyoshitgirl: HWIDGBWUIDKJ

debesteboy: IT GRABBED HER

 

Saturday, 2:12 AM

 

skyence: theyre talking!

stealyoshitgirl: your plan worked!

stealyoshitgirl: youre amazing ema!!!

skyence: ha ha, dont thank me yet

skyence: we dont know what theyre talking about

skyence: but they seem happy...

owo: anyways, now that thats done...

owo: im starving

skyence: you can go

skyence: ill stay here and do some snooping until theyre done

littlemissperfect: tell me when i can go back

littlemissperfect: anyway, do you think this will do something?

skyence: hell yeah!

skyence: these two have some SERIOUS chemistry!

stealyoshitgirl: ha ha youre amazing ema!!!

skyence: thanks....

floof: OH WILL YOU TWO JUST KISS ALREADY

stealyoshitgirl: RAY-

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Cresend (rockboi)

 

Saturday, 2:15 PM

 

anactualdemon: *clap clap*

anactualdemon: well

anactualdemon: fucking

anactualdemon: done

nailpolishpoison: yeah yeah, go on, be condescending

nailpolishpoison: its not my fault he was so annoying

battleangel: all he did was tell you to leave your little brother alone

battleangel: and you lost your temper

battleangel: and like the child you are, you punched him

nailpolishpoison: why does that blind piece of shit care about me and klavier anyway

nailpolishpoison: oh, ill have a chat with him when i get the chance

rockboi: well, you already got kicked out

rockboi: so theres nothing else to do

nailpolishpoison: im going home

anactualdemon: boo hoo

anactualdemon: go cry to daddy

anactualdemon: youre a manchild, kristoph

nailpolishpoison: yeah, well youre a bitch

anactualdemon: love you too~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, hello!
> 
> I've been gone for a while, I started working on a personal project and a few other things!  
> But I'll try to update this story more again! He he!
> 
> Anyway... I wrote a 3 part short story about Godot and Simon K, so if you want to see it, go over and read the Extras! I'm very proud of how it turned out!
> 
> And as per tradition, random thought of the day: Stranger Things Season 3! Have any of you watched it? It's frikkkkkn amazing! But all my faves died so .o. Anyone who watched it, did you enjoy it? Give me a comment!
> 
> For now that's all, and off I go!


	21. fey clan fitness life hacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dancingqueen: but ughhh now i have to deal with datz's and dad's unbearable sexual tension
> 
> simonsays: HOLUP
> 
> simonsays: SO SHE CAN SAY SEXUAL TENSION
> 
> simonsays: BUT NOT BITCH???
> 
> simonsays: WHAT KIND OF RULES DOES THIS CHILD RUN BY????
> 
> elsa: garan's
> 
> simonsays: who's????
> 
> elsa: the queen's
> 
> simonsays: oh-

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 2:22 PM

 

burgerqueen: miles and phoenix are talking, diego got punched by kristoph, and theres a hawk loose in the food court

burgerqueen: which level of limbo are we on

spaceboy: the last one

spaceboy: what even happened

spaceboy: can anyone summorize?

boobitch: basically, phoenix and diego were doing god knows what in gamestop

boobitch: and then, klavier said kristoph saw him and wasnt letting him and apollo out of the store they were in

boobitch: so my GENIUS BOYFRIEND thought it would be a good idea to go down there and talk to him, and he ended up getting himself punched

boobitch: then, kristoph was kicked out and diego was sent to some side room to get himself checked out and im here with him now

burgerqueen: ([butwaittheresmore.jpg](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aap9P2Yeeeg/maxresdefault.jpg))

burgerqueen: when diego left MILES CAME UP TO PHOENIX AND TALKED TO HIM

burgerqueen: LIKE

burgerqueen: thats tea

burgerqueen: franzy, are you behind this?

littlemissperfect: ([perhaps.jpg](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/398/111/d5a))

burgerqueen: she used A MEME

burgerqueen: IM SO PROUD

littlemissperfect: :3

pinecone: is diego okay?

boobitch: hes fine

boobitch: just incredibly STUPID

spaceboy: what about the hawk???

sunshines: it might be simon's

sunshines: does it have a cute little scarf?

burgerqueen: i wouldn say 'cute'

sunshines: hey!

burgerqueen: but it does have a scarf

sunshines: yeah, its simon's

sunshines: i mean its not like anyone else in the area has a pet hawk

sunshines: also it just attacked kay

sunshines: lemme go help her

burgerqueen: why are kay and sebastian here

boobitch: because theyre teens at a mall?

boobitch: i dunno

boobitch: they could ask the same question about you

burgerqueen: yeah but they seem hella shady

burgerqueen: they keep looking around and all

burgerqueen: i dunno

boobitch: just let them be

boobitch: anyway, klavier, apollo, how are the two of you doing?

imfine: were fine

pianoman: thank diego for me

boobitch: oh i assure you

boobitch: i wont

boobitch: the last thing this little child needs right now is more compliment to fuel his MASSIVE EVER GROWING EGO

burgerqueen: youre an angry one today

burgerqueen: shit r u on your period or something

boobitch: dont

boobitch: even

boobitch: START

boobitch: is it so hard to not get yourself hurt?

boobitch: avoid trouble for A SINGLE DAY

pinecone: deep breaths mia

pinecone: just try to relax

boobitch: hmmgnfnn

pinecone: dont shout, itll make you more stressed

pinecone: try to... hit something, or squeeze something

boobitch: can i hit HIM

pinecone: NO mia DONT ABUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND

boobitch: hmmmmmmmmg

boobitch: youre right thats bad

spaceboy: abuse bad

spaceboy: well done sherlock

boobitch: stfu

boobitch: im gonna punch the wall real quick

burgerqueen: nick!

nicknackpattywack: yes?

burgerqueen: YOU TALKED TO MILES !!!

nicknackpattywack: ugh yes i did

burgerqueen: PC NOWWWWW

boobitch: screenshots pls

 

Private Chat Between Maya Fey (burgerqueen) And Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

 

Saturday, 2:24 PM

 

burgerqueen: soooo

burgerqueen: whats the tea?

nicknackpattywack: well, im now learning we were set up to talk

nicknackpattywack: and we did

burgerqueen: aaaaaand?

nicknackpattywack: well, it was hard to get there, but we had a chat about some things

nicknackpattywack: our childhoods together and all

burgerqueen: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand?

nicknackpattywack: he didnt want to talk to me

nicknackpattywack: like at all

nicknackpattywack: but i managed to somehow force a conversation out of him

nicknackpattywack: and we

nicknackpattywack: may have set up a thing

nicknackpattywack: to meet up tommorow

burgerqueen: YES YOU FUCKING LEGEND

burgerqueen: YOU GOT A DATE

nicknackpattywack: its not a date maya

nicknackpattywack: its a

nicknackpattywack: meeting???

nicknackpattywack: i dont know what it is

burgerqueen: well at least tell me what youre doing!!!

nicknackpattywack: were going to the movies?

burgerqueen: NICK

burgerqueen: THATS A DATE

nicknackpattywack: wait!

nicknackpattywack: do you think he thinks its a date???

nicknackpattywack: I dont think its a date

nicknackpattywack: but what if he thinks and its awkward?

burgerqueen: OH MY GOD

burgerqueen: youre a BI DISASTER sweetie

nicknackpattywack: says the lesbian disaster

burgerqueen: you have a point

burgerqueen: you need to ask mia or diego for help theyre bi disasters too

nicknackpattywack: nah theyre functional bis

burgerqueen: good point good point

burgerqueen: iris?

nicknackpattywack: also functional bi

nicknackpattywack: and also MY EX MAYA

nicknackpattywack: IM NOT GONNA SK MY EX FOR DATING ADVICE

burgerqueen: you called it dating advice

nicknackpattywack: wait no

nicknackpattywack: no no no

nicknackpattywack: NO

burgerqueen: ahahahahha

burgerqueen: oh this is TOO GOOD

nicknackpattywack: pls stop laughing at me

nicknackpattywack: for real

nicknackpattywack: do you think he thinks its a date?

burgerqueen: why would i know?

burgerqueen: probably not

burgerqueen: you just go and have fun, ok?

nicknackpattywack: fine

nicknackpattywack: how are you and franziska doing

burgerqueen: eh...

burgerqueen: its complicated

nicknackpattywack: how so?

burgerqueen: i

burgerqueen: i cant tell you

nicknackpattywack: why not?

burgerqueen: wait a second

 

Private Chat Between Maya Fey (burgerqueen) And Mia Fey (boobitch)

 

Saturday, 2:25 PM

 

burgerqueen: MIA

burgerqueen: NICK IS ASKING ABOUT FRANZISKA

burgerqueen: WHAT DO I TELL HIM

boobitch: well, if you dont want to say what really happened...

boobitch: make up a lie

boobitch: like, she said no, or something like that?

burgerqueen: im not good at lying

burgerqueen: but ok ill try

burgerqueen: oof oof here i go

 

Private Chat Between Maya Fey (burgerqueen) And Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

 

Saturday, 2:26 PM

 

nicknackpattywack: maya?

burgerqueen: yeah sorry im back

burgerqueen: uh

burgerqueen: yeah, its not going well

burgerqueen: she

burgerqueen: uh

nicknackpattywack: ???

burgerqueen: she doesnt like girls !!!

burgerqueen: there !!!

burgerqueen: shes as straight as a stick !!!

nicknackpattywack: oh

nicknackpattywack: that

burgerqueen: WELL OKAY GOTTA GO YOU KNOW HAWK LOOSE IN THE FOOD COURT AND ALL SEE YA SOON LOVE YA BYE BYE

nicknackpattywack: maya

nicknackpattywack: how can one be so bad at lying they cant even do it over text?

 

Groupchat: operation: remove the edge from edgeworth

Members: 7

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

*Ema Skye (skyence)

 

Saturday, 2:45 AM

 

littlemissperfect: ive just been told by maya that our plan work

littlemissperfect: miles and phoenix are going to the movies tommorow !!!

skyence: BOOM!

skyence: thats what happens when you PLAN, children

stealyoshitgirl: good one ema!!!

stealyoshitgirl: well this was fun but i think ill get going

stealyoshitgirl: i promised dad id help him with something

skyence: yeah, ive got something ive got to do

debesteboy: father will be real mad if i stay out any longer

debesteboy: ill get going too

owo: i mean if everyone is going i aint stayin here

suedeshoes: today was fun pals !!!

suedeshoes: see you monday ?

floof: yep

floof: see ya squad

 

Private Chat Between Ema Skye (skyence) And Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

 

Saturday, 2:59 AM

 

skyence: thanks for today kk

skyence: first time ive had this much fun since

skyence: well, since middle school

stealyoshitgirl: you do seem a little bummed out m&m

stealyoshitgirl: im guessing youre not getting much sleep?

skyence: yeah...

skyence: i just feel sad and tired all the time

skyence: i dunno whats wrong with me ha ha

stealyoshitgirl: ema

stealyoshitgirl: are you...

stealyoshitgirl: okay?

stealyoshitgirl: like, for real for real?

skyence: you know what?

skyence: no

skyence: no i dont think i am

stealyoshitgirl: are you...?

skyence: depressed?

skyence: the thing is im....

skyence: i dont want to bother you

skyence: its just hard to state it for sure

skyence: its hard to just say it

stealyoshitgirl: have you considered getting help?

skyence: i

skyence: i have, actually

skyence: gotten help, i mean

skyence: lana made me go to a therapist and i take medication

skyence: but its just getting worse

stealyoshitgirl: you know, sometimes

stealyoshitgirl: some of those things dont work for everyone

stealyoshitgirl: maybe you need to try out some new medicine, try a new therapist?

skyence: yeah but

skyence: i

skyence: ive already caused lana so much trouble

skyence: she can barely make enough to pay for all of the things i need

skyence: what if whatever i actually DO need is even more expensive?

stealyoshitgirl: ema...

stealyoshitgirl: please, just...

stealyoshitgirl: ask her about it, okay?

stealyoshitgirl: tell her its not working, im sure shell understand

stealyoshitgirl: shes your sister

stealyoshitgirl: she loves you

skyence: i know she does...

skyence: and...

skyence: youre right kk

skyence: maybe ill talk to her about it

stealyoshitgirl: please

stealyoshitgirl: do it for me

skyence: wow

skyence: i didnt plan on telling you about this

stealyoshitgirl: well, shit happens, we move on

stealyoshitgirl: how long has it been a problem?

skyence: ever since the start of highschool, so like a year

stealyoshitgirl: hey

stealyoshitgirl: im here now

stealyoshitgirl: ok?

stealyoshitgirl: if you ever need anything, just talk to me

stealyoshitgirl: im not a proffesional, but ive been told im a good listener!

skyence: thanks kk

skyence: ill talk to lana about that

skyence: but, uh... who told you that?

stealyoshitgirl: oh!

stealyoshitgirl: sebastian did

stealyoshitgirl: he tells me a lot of things that bother him

skyence: he seems so scared all the time

stealyoshitgirl: yeah, well

stealyoshitgirl: its his dad

stealyoshitgirl: treats him like trash

stealyoshitgirl: but its not my place to tell you

skyence: i see

skyence: well

skyence: thanks kk

stealyoshitgirl: no problem

stealyoshitgirl: promise you talk to lana?

skyence: promise

skyence: thank you

skyence: i love you

skyence: youre the best friend ive ever had

stealyoshitgirl: ([unoreverse.jpg](https://66.media.tumblr.com/2567a666c2a6e26e4c9d56d02c7ca133/tumblr_pr5ldnraky1vewaqs_540.jpg))

stealyoshitgirl: stay strong m&m

stealyoshitgirl: ill get you through this! thief's honor !!!

skyence: i know you will... thanks

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 3:12 PM

 

childofmagic: weve been here for a while eh

childofmagic: yall wanna do something all together

gobo: hell yeah

childofmagic: oh!

childofmagic: youre alive!

gobo: barely

gobo: mia is a very scary woman ok

boobitch: dont even

boobitch: that was stupid, and you know it

imfine: were good to go if anyone asks

childofmagic: what can we do with a group OH MY GOD

imfine: WHAT

childofmagic: LETS ORDER LIKE 5 PIZZAS AND EAT THEM FOR DINNER

burgerqueen: YESSSSSS

burgerqueen: CAN WE GET DOMINOS THEY HAVE REALLY GOD CHICKEN WINGS

nicknackpattywack: surprised you didnt want burgers

burgerqueen: ive already eaten 6 big macs nick

burgerqueen: ive reached my limit for the next 3 hours

nicknackpattywack: ONLY 3 hours ????

spaceboy: HOW

spaceboy: DO YOU STAY THAT THIN

spaceboy: I NEED THAT LIFE HACK RN

burgerqueen: try 'severe spirit medium training under freezing cold water'

burgerqueen: it makes ya extra T H I N N

boobitch: (but also kills your soul and bones and everything)

gravyravy: (and if you do it wrong my mother will usually scream at you)

spaceboy: i want to be an astronaut do you really think i care about how i treat my body

childofmagic: OK OK EVERYONE SHUT UP

childofmagic: were gonna go home and were gonna order SO MUCH FAST FOOD YALL

sunshines: how can i say no to that?

littlemissperfect: have fun guys

littlemissperfect: ill be heading home

burgerqueen: ILL EAT A WHOLE PIZZA IN YOUR HONOR FRANZY

nicknackpattywack: MAYA NO

burgerqueen: MAYA YES

 

Groupchat: nahyuta's very bad, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Members: 4

Description: im in america and WILL ruin my brothe's life

 

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Bobby Fulbright (injusticewetrust)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

 

Saturday, 3:33 PM

 

simonsays: well taka injured at least 20 innocent people

simonsays: id call this a good day for me

dancingqueen: and me!

dancingqueen: that was fun! i like you bird head!

simonsays: bird head???

elsa: dont ask, she does that for everyone

elsa: rayfa were gonna go to simon's house

elsa: can you make it back to dad's place by yourself?

dancingqueen: sure !

dancingqueen: i had fun making your life hell today !

dancingqueen: but ughhh now i have to deal with datz's and dad's unbearable sexual tension

simonsays: HOLUP

simonsays: SO SHE CAN SAY SEXUAL TENSION

simonsays: BUT NOT BITCH???

simonsays: WHAT KIND OF RULES DOES THIS CHILD RUN BY????

elsa: garan's

simonsays: who's????

elsa: the queen's

simonsays: oh-

dancingqueen: THATS HER EMINENCE TO YOU

dancingqueen: HOW DARE YOU SHOW SUCH DISRESPECT?

elsa: idk cuz im in america

dancingqueen: eh, fair enough

simonsays: she forgets things very easily, too...

elsa: what can i say

elsa: its a weird child

dancingqueen: IM

dancingqueen: STILL

dancingqueen: HERE!

elsa: i know sis

elsa: youre hard to miss

elsa: VERY hard to miss

injusticewetrust: ha ha ha !!!

injusticewetrust: i like you a lot ms. khura'in !!!

injusticewetrust: youre very fun to be around !!!

dancingqueen: YOU TOO SPIKE HEAD !!!

injusticewetrust: s

injusticewetrust: spike head????

simonsays: bobby dont cry its a compliment in her book

simonsays: i think.

injusticewetrust: ha ha !!!

injusticewetrust: okay !!!

injusticewetrust: well, im tired !!!

injusticewetrust: lets head home !!!

simonsays: yeah...

simonsays: lets...

simonsays: weve got something important to ask you once we get there

injusticewetrust: oh?

simonsays: dont worry about it

simonsays: lets get going

 

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Simon Keyes (keyestomyheart)

 

Saturday, 3:45 PM

 

keyestomyheart: hey its me

keyestomyheart: simon keyes

keyestomyheart: i dont know if you remember me

keyestomyheart: but i wanna talk

keyestomyheart: reply whenever youre free, yeah?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a cliffhanger, huh? I wonder what that message means... 
> 
> Quite a bit of angst in this one. God, I really hurt these innocent babs a lot, huh? I SHALL NEVER STOP MWEHEHEHEHHEHEHE !!!!
> 
> Anyway..... MC Mondays week 4! ....Kinda sucked. I mean, it was cool, but Vikk and Preston completely SWEEPED. Techno has finally found a worthy opponent, huh? Let's hope next week is more balanced !!! Also more peeps next week cuz everyone is back from VidCon !!!


	22. assorting your dominance with the t-pose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dancingqueen: jesus
> 
> dancingqueen: you old men need to kiss already
> 
> datzausername: i mean i agree
> 
> daenerys: what
> 
> datzausername: what

 

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Simon Keyes (keyestomyheart)

 

Saturday, 4:01 PM

 

keyestomyheart: leaving me on read?

keyestomyheart: classy

keyestomyheart: just text me when you stop being moody, yeah?

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 4:22 PM

 

childofmagic: the food is on its way !!!

childofmagic: everyone, go and get changed into more comfy things !!!

childofmagic: we can watch something or play a game !!!

gravyravy: sounds good babe

childofmagic: <3

sunshines: im gonna change far away from the thicc fish

pinecone: good idea

burgerqueen: its best if we all stay away from the thicc fish

pianoman: why do you people even have this fish?

imfine: trucy insisted

childofmagic: and daddy, uncle valant, uncle roger and grandpa agreed !!!

imfine: me and mom seem to be the only rational people in this family

burgerqueen: mia are you still not talking to diego?

boobitch: of course not !

boobitch: he did something incredibly stupid !!!

boobitch: i mean, how many times can you get yourself hurt before youve had enough???

boobitch: im just looking out for my boyfriend !

pianoman: he DID help me and herr forehead a lot

pianoman: so im thankful

boobitch: where is he anyway???

burgerqueen: dunno

burgerqueen: changing right the rest of us?

burgerqueen: maybe downstairs already?

childofmagic: nope, hes not down here

nicknackpattywack: well im sure a guy like him wont get lost in someones house

childofmagic: people DID get lost in here before

pinecone: i saw him go into one of the upstairs bathrooms and he hasnt left yet, so im sure hes fine

boobitch: dont get too worked up guys

boobitch: hes not the kind to get himself hurt...

boobitch: ...without announcing he will do it first

spaceboy: saltyyyyyyy

boobitch: clay terran

spaceboy: yes?

boobitch: run

gravyravy: i just heard a high pitched scream and loud steps heading down the stairs

gravyravy: what just happened????

childofmagic: mia just chased clay into the kitchen and is now t posing on him in the corner

childofmagic: im not sure what to do

childofmagic: oh nevermind shes fortnite defult dancing now

burgerqueen: i expect nothing else from my sister

littlemissperfect: at least you guys get to do fun things...

littlemissperfect: papa is making me study

burgerqueen: study on the first weekend in the whole year???

burgerqueen: there isnt even an exam coming up???

littlemissperfect: at school, no

littlemissperfect: but hes gonna test us at home

imfine: thats bullshit

littlemissperfect: well, you get used to it

littlemissperfect: hope you guys have fun

littlemissperfect: doing whatever

burgerqueen: ill keep texting you so you dont get too bored <3333

littlemissperfect: haha, okay, thanks

littlemissperfect: see you around guys

littlemissperfect: ill be turning my phone off for a while

burgerqueen: see you !!!

 

Private Chat Between Myriam Scutlebutt (scuttlemybutts) And Alita Tiala (batteangel)

 

Saturday, 4:25 PM

 

battleangel: hello

scuttlemybutts: well, if it isnt wocky's juliet

scuttlemybutts: i already said, i dont do spying services anymore...

scuttlemybutts: i work on the paper now

scuttlemybutts: if you want tea, read the paper, or commision the phantom

battleangel: well, arent you a pleasant one

battleangel: i want to ask about said paper

scuttlemybutts: new articles every tuesday and thursday, at 10 am

scuttlemybutts: its all in the first article...

scuttlemybutts: and yes, were hard at work on reasearch.... totally not slacking...

battleangel: i think i have the key to spicing this paper up

battleangel: you want to make it all about drama, right?

battleangel: well clay terran is your worst mistake

scuttlemybutts: is that so?

battleangel: hes a goodie two shoes

battleangel: everyone else on that group, oh yes

battleangel: they dont care about peoples feelings, or personal space

battleangel: theyll do it all to cause a stir

battleangel: but clay?

battleangel: no no

battleangel: he will just slow you down

scuttlemybutts: what are you suggesting, alita?

scuttlemybutts: everyone in the school knows your little gang is a problem

scuttlemybutts: why would i risk assiociating myself with you?

battleangel: because you know you want to

battleangel: i can get you drama so good...

battleangel: you wont believe it

battleangel: ill have fresh gossip brought right to you every day

battleangel: all you have to do is kick clay out

battleangel: and make me the main writer

battleangel: you know you want it

battleangel: you know WE have the sort of info you want

battleangel: after all... weve got the phantom under our control

scuttlemybutts: youre bluffing

scuttlemybutts: but i like your attitude

scuttlemybutts: ill do it

scuttlemybutts: give me a moment

 

Private Chat Between Clay Terran (spaceboy) And Myriam Scutlebutt (scuttlemybutts)

 

Saturday, 4:26 PM

 

scuttlemybutts: blah blah blah

scuttlemybutts: after some consideration weve decided to let you go

scuttlemybutts: blah blah blah

scuttlemybutts: dont like you

scuttlemybutts: removing you from the paper

scuttlemybutts: see ya

scuttlemybutts: oh, and dont ask why

scuttlemybutts: actually, here

 

_scuttlemybutts blocked spaceboy_

 

Groupchat: themis highschool newspaper, bitches!

Members: 5

Description: read back on the damn chat if you dont know whats going on, chap!

 

*Myriam Scuttlebutt (scuttlemybutts)

*Lotta Hart (lottahair)

*Angel Starr (coughupqueen)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

*Betty de Famme (theeviltwin)

 

Saturday, 4:26 PM

 

_scuttlemybutts removed spaceboy_

 

_scuttlemybutts added battleangel_

 

scuttlemybutts: shes the new writer

scuttlemybutts: dont ask questions

scuttlemybutts: if you do, youre out

scuttlemybutts: capiche?

coughupqueen: none asked

lottahair: uh, sure whatever

theeviltwin: id say alita is an upgrade

battleangel: thank you, myriam

battleangel: this will be the start of a wonderful friendship

scuttlemybutts: i sure hope so....

battleangel: :)

 

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 4:27 PM

 

gobo: mia

gobo: mia

gobo: mia

boobitch: what????

boobitch: im busy asserting my dominance over clay

boobitch: also, im still kinda mad you did something stupid like that

gobo: i need your help

boobitch: well, maybe consider being a bit less STUPID next time

gobo: mia please

gobo: outside of the joke

gobo: serious stuff

gobo: need help

gobo: right now

boobitch: you sound serious

boobitch: whats wrong?

boobitch: are you okay?

boobitch: what happened?

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

boobitch: what the fuck

boobitch: does that little shit

boobitch: want with you?

gobo: i dont know

gobo: this is the first time hes contacted me in 3 years

gobo: why now?

gobo: what does he want?

boobitch: okay, relax

boobitch: just breathe

boobitch: ill be with you in a minute, ok?

boobitch: just hang in there

gobo: okay

gobo: just please hurry up

gobo: and uh

gobo: bring a cup of coffee?

boobitch: of course

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 4:30 PM

 

spaceboy: uh

spaceboy: mia?

spaceboy: is mia okay???

pinecone: strange of you to ask after she just did that ritual to you

spaceboy: she suddenly looked at her phone, frantically made a cup of coffee while texting and then ran upstairs with her eyes wide

spaceboy: is she ok?

childofmagic: yeah, i saw that too

nicknackpattywack: and i saw her shut herself in one of the rooms

spaceboy: also, i just got kicked off the school paper

childofmagic: oh no, why ????

spaceboy: i dunno

spaceboy: myriam told me not to ask and then blocked me

spaceboy: honestly i dont care

spaceboy: i kind of knew they were a little shady

spaceboy: i just went along thinking i could stop them from saying bad things about you guys

childofmagic: awww

childofmagic: dont worry about it

spaceboy: i dont really care

spaceboy: right now im more worried about mia

burgerqueen: im sure shes okay

burgerqueen: sister senses and all that tellin me its nothing too bad

burgerqueen: ill ask her about it later

sunshines: i thought only twins had that sort of thing?

gravyravy: dahlia and iris dont have it

spaceboy: neither do bonny and betty

burgerqueen: eh

burgerqueen: did the doorbell just ring????

childofmagic: THE FOOD !!!!!!!!

 

Private Chat Between Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa) And Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

 

Saturday, 4:32 PM

 

simonsays: he is definitely hiding something

esla: oh, for sure

elsa: the way he tensed up when we mentioned snooping around

simonsays: so he is doing that

simonsays: but why

simonsays: do you think he could really be...?

elsa: but bobby wouldnt do that!

elsa: youve seen him, hes a sweetheart

elsa: he would never hurt a fly, nevermind help start fights like the one this summer

simonsays: what if he has to do it?

elsa: ?

simonsays: what if he needs the money or something?

simonsays: like, debt, bills

simonsays: that sort of thing?

elsa: sounds plausible

elsa: look at him, but dont make it obvious

elsa: now that weve asked him, he seems really upset

simonsays: yeah, dont think ive ever seen him this quiet while watching brooklyn 9-9

elsa: you tell me

elsa: normally when we watch it hes louder than the tv

simonsays: i think weve hit something

elsa: lets not press on it too much

elsa: he seems really, really sad

elsa: and tired

simonsays: hey, ill ask him to stay the night

simonsays: wanna stay too?

simonsays: metis and aura will get back in the morning but im sure they wont mind

simonsays: hell theyll be glad i made friends

elsa: should be good

elsa: honestly the longer i am away from rayfa the better

simonsays: lets try to ask him some things tommorow, ok?

elsa: sounds good

elsa: lets just talk random things to cheer him up

simonsays: good idea

simonsays: see ya on the other side partner

elsa: bai

 

Groupchat: datz a groupchat

Members: 4

Description: 50% in america and 50% in khura'in

 

*Dhurke Sahdmadhi (daenerys)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Datz Are'bal (datzausername)

 

Saturday, 4:46 PM

 

dancingqueen: UGHHHH DADDDDD DATZZZZZ

dancingqueen: LETS DO SOMETHING !!!

dancingqueen: IM SO BORED WITHOUT YUTY HEREEEEE

daenerys: child why

datzausername: cant we just ??? lie around all day ???

dancingqueen: WERE GOING BACK HOME ON WEDNESDAY !!!

dancingqueen: WE NEED TO DO LOTS OF THINGS BEFORE THEN !!!

datzausername: but

dancingqueen: please :((((

dancingqueen: i really like america and i dont get to be here often

datzausername: idc i wanna sleep and eat

dancingqueen: im sure uncle inga would have something to say about this...

datzausername: YOU KNOW WHAT RAYFA DO YOU WANNA GET STARBUCKS

datzausername: THATS AMERICAN RIGHT????

dancingqueen: its a start !

dancingqueen: lets go !

daenerys: ill go with you

daenerys: my other child has abandoned me

daenerys: DRAGON FAMILY LETS GO

datzausername: goddamit dhurke thats not wHAT WERE CALLED

daenerys: WE COULD BE BUT YOU PLAYIN

dancingqueen: jesus

dancingqueen: you old men need to kiss already

datzausername: i mean i agree

daenerys: what

datzausername: what

 

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 4:52 PM

 

boobitch: are you sure youll be fine?

gobo: yeah

gobo: just go downstairs, tell them im sick or something

gobo: and ill talk to him

gobo: i just need to do it in private

boobitch: okay, sure

boobitch: ill make sure they leave some food for you

gobo: thanks kitten

gobo: love you

boobitch: love you to

boobitch: and if that asshole tries anything come right to me

boobitch: ok?

gobo: yeah

gobo: itll only be a few minutes

boobitch: as i said

boobitch: therell be food waiting for you

boobitch: good luck

 

Private Chat Between Diego Armando (gobo) And Simon Keyes (keyestomyheart)

 

Saturday, 4:53 PM

 

gobo: what do you want?

keyestomyheart: wow, what a pleasant opening

keyestomyheart: what do you think?

keyestomyheart: i said i want to talk

keyestomyheart: stop being such a drama queen

gobo: are you serious?

gobo: you ghost me for three years and then tell me to 'not be a drama queen'?

gobo: what the hell is your problem?

keyestomyheart: okay, okay, relax

keyestomyheart: you know i have a habit of of saying kinda rude things

keyestomyheart: ive been working on that

keyestomyheart: college proffesors aint as gracieous as the teachers at themis

gobo: wow, you actually made it into a college

gobo: but

gobo: stop beating around the bush

gobo: what

gobo: do

gobo: you

gobo: want

keyestomyheart: i want to explain myself

keyestomyheart: and

keyestomyheart: maybe talk a bit

gobo: after all youve done?

gobo: you want me to just what, welcome you back with open arms?

gobo: hey, you want the ring from your trash back?

gobo: maybe want to invite me to another party?

keyestomyheart: R E L A X

keyestomyheart: i understand youre angry

keyestomyheart: but lets talk

keyestomyheart: communication is the key to solving these issues were having

gobo: fine

gobo: how about you start why after waking up from a year long coma my lovely 'boyfriend' wasnt there to support me?

keyestomyheart: because...

gobo: oh, come on

gobo: i hoped you at least PREPARED a lie

gobo: but youre gonna make me sit here and wait until you make one up?

keyestomyheart: because i felt bad, okay?

gobo: oh, thats a good one

keyestomyheart: that accident, was... sorta my fault

gobo: no shit sherlock

keyestomyheart: and when you were gone, i had some time to think

keyestomyheart: to realize something

gobo: is that so?

keyestomyheart: i never deserved a guy like you

keyestomyheart: never deserved someone so nice so compassionate

keyestomyheart: that accident was a wake up call

keyestomyheart: for me to realize i was corrupting you and tearing your life to pieces for no reason

keyestomyheart: just because i lived like that

keyestomyheart: i was selfish and thought i could make anyone be like me

keyestomyheart: i was wrong

keyestomyheart: it was wrong

keyestomyheart: i see that now

keyestomyheart: i didnt want to hurt you more

keyestomyheart: so i just

keyestomyheart: left it like that

keyestomyheart: im sorry, ok?

keyestomyheart: its been tearing me up for the past three years

keyestomyheart: and my senior year was so awful

keyestomyheart: and then i thought, when i started college, everything would fade

keyestomyheart: be left behind me in that school

keyestomyheart: but it just got worse

keyestomyheart: and worse, and worse, and worse

keyestomyheart: and finally, i wanted to explain myself

gobo: you took your sweet time

gobo: if only you told me that the first day of sophmore year

gobo: that would have been enough

gobo: that would have been all i needed

gobo: everything would have been fine

gobo: i wouldnt have... stressed about this for so many years

gobo: just..

keyestomyheart: youve got no reason to forgive me

keyestomyheart: but lets at least try to leave that past behind

keyestomyheart: start over?

gobo: the best i can do is NOT bash your skull in next time i see you

gobo: pretend i dont know who you are

keyestomyheart: that sounds like it would be enough

keyestomyheart: can i ask at least... are things better now?

keyestomyheart: for you?

gobo: lets see...

gobo: my mother barely gets by because shes all by herself and has a crappy low paid job...

gobo: the accident still takes its toll on me, im blind and my condition seems to be getting worse...

gobo: and this little shitstain from my past decided to get in conatct with me

gobo: id say my life is a mess right now

gobo: thanks for nothing

keyestomyheart: but

keyestomyheart: theres gotta be something, right?

keyestomyheart: something thats good?

gobo: yes

gobo: there is

keyestomyheart: and whats that?

gobo: mia

gobo: shes the only thing thats ever made me happy

gobo: shes amazing, she loves me, and cares about me

gobo: shes everything you were supposed to be, but failed

gobo: she would do anything for me

gobo: and shes the only reason i can keep going

gobo: even after the state youve left me in

keyestomyheart: well

keyestomyheart: im happy for you

gobo: dont play the good guy card

keyestomyheart: gosh, fine

keyestomyheart: you want me to say, what?

keyestomyheart: i still hate you

keyestomyheart: i never loved you

keyestomyheart: i never cared about you

keyestomyheart: im glad you got into that crash and lost everything

keyestomyheart: im glad you were held back a year and all your friends left you in the dust

keyestomyheart: im glad i ignored you for three years because i was too scared to face my mistakes?

gobo: yes

gobo: thats what i expected you to say

keyestomyheart: well, i would be lying

keyestomyheart: every single thing there is not true

keyestomyheart: ive been feeling so bad

keyestomyheart: its been the worst thing

keyestomyheart: and im sorry

keyestomyheart: im sorry

keyestomyheart: im sorry

keyestomyheart: ok?

gobo: fine

gobo: i guess

gobo: but that doesnt mean we can be friends again

keyestomyheart: i didnt expect that

keyestomyheart: thanks... for giving me a chance to talk

gobo: i only did it because i needed an explanation

keyestomyheart: well, i hope youre satisfied

keyestomyheart: once more im sorry... and i guess all i can say for now is goodbye

gobo: goodbye

gobo: and i guess... thanks for finally telling me

gobo: see you never

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of more angsty than normally, but I hope you can forgive me !!! Hurting these babs is just in my nature !!! And we need that C H A R A C T E R D E V E L O P M E N T !!!
> 
> Rayfa is the number one Datz/Dhurke shipper. And that is pure FAX.
> 
> Working on some Extras, too. Watch out for that!
> 
> For now, I'll see you around!


	23. never have i ever...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rockboi: MY FUCKING GUITAR FELL OUT THE WINDOW
> 
> battleangel: ???
> 
> battleangel: dude
> 
> battleangel: how
> 
> rockboi: so like
> 
> rockboi: i was playing it
> 
> rockboi: and
> 
> rockboi: it fell
> 
> battleangel: out the window?
> 
> rockboi: uh
> 
> rockboi: yes
> 
> battleangel: just say you threw it at klavier
> 
> rockboi: ok fine i threw my guitar at klavier

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 4:59 PM

 

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

gobo: (screenshot.jpg)

boobitch: awwww

boobitch: do you really think all those things?

boobitch: i didnt know you cared about me that much...

gobo: i mean duh

boobitch: surely im not the only reason you keep goining, though

gobo: i mean...

gobo: that day we met, was probably the lowest point of my life

gobo: so i dont know what would have happened if i didnt meet you

gobo: thank you

gobo: for everything

boobitch: well, at least keyes explained everything

boobitch: shitty explanation, sure

boobitch: we can talk about it more later...

boobitch: for now...

boobitch: just get down here

boobitch: the pizza is still kinda warm

boobitch: i didnt even need to save you food weve got SO MUCH left over

gobo: i say how much i appriciate you and all you can talk about is food

gobo: this is why were dating

boobitch: exactly

boobitch: now come get the food

gobo: cant argue with that....

 

Groupchat: themis highschool newspaper, bitches!

Members: 5

Description: read back on the damn chat if you dont know whats going on, chap!

 

*Myriam Scuttlebutt (scuttlemybutts)

*Lotta Hart (lottahair)

*Angel Starr (coughupqueen)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Betty de Famme (theeviltwin)

 

Saturday, 5:01 PM

 

battleangel: 1. nahyuta is a pricne

battleangel: sources:

battleangel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khura'in_Royal_Family

battleangel: https://www.royal.khura'in

battleangel: https://www.buzzfeed.com/annabethhart/khura'in-princess-in-america

battleangel: the wiki page, the official royal family page and an buzzfeed article that just reported on the princess (nahyuta's sis) coming to america or something

lottahair: hey that article was made by my cousin !!!

lottahair: annabeth hart !!!

coughupqueen: guess the need for drama runs in the family...

battleangel: 2. kristoph gavin got dragged out of the mall for punching diego armando

battleangel: (video.mp4)

battleangel: (video.mp4)

battleangel: (video.mp4)

battleangel: lotta pick out some nice screenshots from that

battleangel: 3. debsating club was established... and its a pretty big thing... some of the most popular kids in school are in it...

battleangel: (debateclub.jpg)

battleangel: (debateclub.jpg)

battleangel: (debateclub.jpg)

battleangel: (debateclub.jpg)

battleangel: those are from the school's website

battleangel: 4. klavier's band got back together i guess??? not that interesting but a nice continuation to thursday's article... maybe could be like an extra note at the end?

battleangel: guess thats for the box lady in charge to decide

battleangel: thats all the info i have for starters...

scuttlemybutts: well, youre already doing twice the work of everyone here

scuttlemybutts: im impressed

scuttlemybutts: well team, get to work

scuttlemybutts: lotta, i want some more pics for these topic

lottahair: aye aye!

scuttlemybutts: betty, get us an interview with nahyuta, or the leaders of debate club

theeviltwin: can do~~

scuttlemybutts: angel, you can start writing up some drafts

coughupqueen: i guess i could

scuttlemybutts: and me and alita...

scuttlemybutts: lets get some more gossip, huh girl?

battleangel: that would be ideal :)

 

Groupchat: feels good to be bad

Members: 5

Description: matt if you take my chipotle again i will end you – dollie <3

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Crescend (rockboi)

 

Saturday, 5:11 PM

 

battleangel: im in

anactualdemon: newspaper?

battleangel: yep

battleangel: gave them some good things

battleangel: got clay kicked out in seconds

battleangel: myriam is so naive

battleangel: anyway, how are your weekends?

rockboi: MY FUCKING GUITAR FELL OUT THE WINDOW

battleangel: ???

battleangel: dude

battleangel: how

rockboi: so like

rockboi: i was playing it

rockboi: and

rockboi: it fell

battleangel: out the window?

rockboi: uh

rockboi: yes

battleangel: just say you threw it at klavier

rockboi: ok fine i threw my guitar at klavier

battleangel: there you go

nailpolishpoison: i was kicked out of a mall and then spent all day on tumblr

anactualdemon: thats somehow iconic

anactualdemon: ive just been doing the usual

anactualdemon: manipulating men

anactualdemon: catching pedos on discord for fun

kicknamestakeass: my weekend sucks

kicknamestakeass: i dont get any free time anymore

anactualdemon: MR MOVIE STAR IS BACK

kicknamestakeass: oh shut up

anactualdemon: nah nah nah

anactualdemon: i need juice

anactualdemon: pc

kicknamestakeass: fine

 

Private Chat Between Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass) And Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

 

Saturday, 5:13 PM

 

anactualdemon: how was your audition?

kicknamestakeass: surprised you actually care

anactualdemon: nah im just bored

anactualdemon: so?

anactualdemon: how was it?

kicknamestakeass: i got the role

anactualdemon: yay?

kicknamestakeass: no

kicknamestakeass: its a minor role anyway

kicknamestakeass: in some random movie

kicknamestakeass: and ill have to work on it every day after school for like a month

kicknamestakeass: so thats great

anactualdemon: why do you sign up for these if you dont like them?

kicknamestakeass: because my dad made me

kicknamestakeass: god

kicknamestakeass: wish i could just decide something for myself sometimes

anactualdemon: just dont go

kicknamestakeass: no

kicknamestakeass: i guess it gives me a future or something

anactualdemon: do you even wanna be an actor?

kicknamestakeass: do you even care?

kicknamestakeass: or are you just 'bored'?

anactualdemon: dude

anactualdemon: were friends, right?

kicknamestakeass: idk if this whole thing can be called friendship

kicknamestakeass: its just toxic shit

anactualdemon: you really think that?

kicknamestakeass: idk

kicknamestakeass: im gonna go sleep

kicknamestakeass: im exhausted

anactualdemon: k whatever you say

anactualdemon: see ya around

kicknamestakeass: see you

 

Groupchat: engarde protection squad

Members: 4

Description: im tired

 

*Dahlia Hawthorne (anactualdemon)

*Kristoph Gavin (nailpolishpoison)

*Alita Tiala (battleangel)

*Daryan Crescend (rockboi)

 

Saturday, 5:14 PM

 

rockboi: whats this group???

anactualdemon: ill explain in a minute but first

anactualdemon: question

anactualdemon: are we all friends

battleangel: i sure hope so

rockboi: uh... i guess?

nailpolishpoison: define 'friend'?

anactualdemon: like

anactualdemon: we do stuff

anactualdemon: but were friends

anactualdemon: right?

rockboi: do you want to borrow something?

anactualdemon: no

anactualdemon: just

anactualdemon: look:

anactualdemon: (screenshot.jpg)

anactualdemon: (screenshot.jpg)

anactualdemon: (screenshot.jpg)

rockboi: wow

rockboi: that kid has feelings?

battleangel: o

battleangel: well, thats weird

anactualdemon: got me thinking

anactualdemon: are we friends

anactualdemon: or are we all just assholes who use each other to do more harm to others

nailpolishpoison: id say...

nailpolishpoison: were friends who are assholes that hurt others... together?

rockboi: that sounds class

battleangel: yeah guess thats about right

anactualdemon: well, then

anactualdemon: i dont really care about it that much

rockboi: tsuundere much?

anactualdemon: shut up

anactualdemon: but

anactualdemon: i think we should like

anactualdemon: cheer him up or something

battleangel: ooooooooh

rockboi: I

rockboi: SHIP

rockboi: IT

nailpolishpoison: dahlia hawthorne showing affection.

nailpolishpoison: who would have thunk?

anactualdemon: oh shut up

anactualdemon: i just think

anactualdemon: hes had a rough couple of days

anactualdemon: lets

anactualdemon: make juan's life horrible, or beat up adrian

anactualdemon: idc what it is, just something to make him feel better

rockboi: okay romeo calm down

anactualdemon: romeo poisoned himself and thats a pussy way to go

battleangel: fine juliet

anactualdemon: juliet stabbed herself, which is slightly better, but still, pussy

nailpolishpoison: fine mercucio

anactualdemon: guess i can go with dying in a duel for my incredibly horny friend

anactualdemon: anyway, lets think of something

nailpolishpoison: maybe

nailpolishpoison: i need to take care of klavier first

battleangel: cant you just leave him?

battleangel: no one cares

nailpolishpoison: i do

nailpolishpoison: im gonna go do evil things

nailpolishpoison: cya

rockboi: by evil things you mean paint your nails and listen to ajr

nailpolishpoison: i said cya

nailpolishpoison: stop talking to me

battleangel: why is everyone in our friend group so disconected from their feelings

rockboi: says alita tiala

battleangel: you know what?

battleangel: imma go too

rockboi: ill think of something

rockboi: but first, snacks

rockboi: brb for like 2 hours

anactualdemon: wow

anactualdemon: thanks, friends

anactualdemon: ill think of something myself

anactualdemon: but you have to help me by defult

battleangel: k whatever you say sweetheart

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 5:34 PM

 

childofmagic: lets play never have i ever !!!

imfine: trucy half of us are too full to move from our rooms

childofmagic: YEAH SO LETS PLAY IT HERE ON THE CHAT !!!

imfine: that-

imfine: im not even going to try to argue with you

pianoman: im all for it

burgerqueen: yeah! sounds fun!

nicknackpattywack: pretty bored just sitting around so sure

sunshines: yes yes yes !!!

littlemissperfect: i just finished with some things...

littlemissperfect: would you guys mind if i joined in?

pinecone: of course !!! the more the merrier !!!

childofmagic: ok

childofmagic: so here are the rules:

childofmagic: well do it so that each person does one thing

childofmagic: and if youve done it, you say:

childofmagic: i have (1)

childofmagic: and each time you say i have, you add a number

childofmagic: if youve never done it, you say

childofmagic: i have never (0)

childofmagic: and dont add a number

childofmagic: very simple

childofmagic: by the end whoever has the least points wins

imfine: that is

imfine: surprisinlgy organized, seeing it was made by trucy enigmar, of all poeple

childofmagic: he he

childofmagic: i can be profesional when i have to !

childofmagic: its a part of the trade !

boobitch: alright then bitch boys

boobitch: lets play this game

boobitch: one question each, right?

childofmagic: yep!

childofmagic: ill start!

childofmagic: never have i ever... kissed a boy (0)

imfine: youre just targetting the gays and the bis!!!

imfine: i am ashamed to call you my sister

childofmagic: he he

imfine: ugh... i have (1)

pianoman: i have (1)

spaceboy: i have (1)

childofmagic: (its funny because both of the above have kissed apollo)

imfine: trucy-

gobo: i have (1)

gobo: no fruther comments

boobitch: i mean my boyfriend is right here so (1)

gravyravy: power of lesbians !!!

gravyravy: i have never (0)

pinecone: i have never, even though i wish... (0)

sunshines: neither have i !!! (0)

burgerqueen: the lesbians have all the power... of never kissing males (0)

littlemissperfect: he he he... i agree with the above (0)

nicknackpattywack: i have an even stronger power...

nicknackpattywack: THE POWER OF THE VIRGIN

nicknackpattywack: i have never (0)

childofmagic: ok polly, youre next !!!

imfine: alright sis.

imfine: two can play at this game.

imfine: never have i ever... kissed a girl (1)

pianoman: ahahahahahha

pianoman: the gay is with us on this one

pianoman: i have never (1)

spaceboy: i have neverrrrrr boissssss (1)

nicknackpattywack: .-. (1)

pianoman: tea?

nicknackpattywack: dated iris fey for a year

pianoman: o

boobitch: I FEEL VERY TARGETED (2)

gobo: ....same (2)

burgerqueen: i kissed a girl and i liked it~~~~ (1)

littlemissperfect: and so have i... and i liked it, too (1)

pianoman: that low-key flirting tho....

gravyravy: i have.... and shes the most amazing girl in the universe <3 (1)

childofmagic: <3 (1)

sunshines: i did it and it was enlightening (1)

pinecone: <333333 (1)

childofmagic: ok, next !!!

childofmagic: pearly !!!

gravyravy: hm....

gravyravy: never have i ever...

gravyravy: ...broken a bone (1)

gobo: I AM

gobo: L I V I D (3)

boobitch: not doing so good huh coffee boy (2)

sunshines: ive broken like

sunshines: every bone in my body

sunshines: i run around a lot....

sunshines: so.... (2)

pinecone: luckily, i have never (1)

pianoman: i have....

pianoman: this summer, actually (2)

imfine: oof

imfine: well, i have never (1)

littlemissperfect: i have never ! (1) a von karma is perfect in every way !

burgerqueen: nick im sure you remember the salami incident (2)

nicknackpattywack: oh i remember the salami incident (2)

spaceboy: what the FUCK is the salami incident????

spaceboy: and why did both of your numbers GO UP

gravyravy: you dont want to know...

gobo: it was a dark day

boobitch: may queen cheesestacks rest in peace

spaceboy: i am so curious

spaceboy: but also so scared

spaceboy: anyway.... fell down the stairs once oops (2)

childofmagic: being a magician is one dangerous job ! (2)

childofmagic: now... klavier !

pianoman: never have i ever... pissed off von douchebag (2)

gobo: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (4)

boobitch: why is it that we do most of these things together? (3)

burgerqueen: its hard not to (3)

nicknackpattywack: i just wanted to borrow a pen T-T (3)

childofmagic: nope nope nope! (2)

gravyravy: guess he doesnt pick on us younglings as much (1)

imfine: all you have to do is pay attention in class and you wont... (1)

spaceboy: none of the teachers like me .-. (3)

sunshines: be nice and youll be fine ! (2)

pinecone: yes ! (1)

littlemissperfect: i mean... do i even have to explain? (2)

childofmagic: clay !

spaceboy: never have i ever.... stalked someone here on their socials (3)

gobo: no explanation will be provided (5)

boobitch: of course not (3)

gravyravy: nope (1)

childofmagic: youre just so pretty pearly i couldnt help myself T-T (3)

burgerqueen: well.... you see.... (4)

littlemisspefect: ... (3)

sunshines: yall are weird (2)

pinecone: agreed... (1)

imfine: gnngngngnn (2)

pianoman: perhaps.... (3)

nicknackpattywack: i have never (4)

nicknackpattywack: not the people in this group, at least

childofmagic: nick?

nicknackpattywack: never have i ever had an emo phase (4)

burgerqueen: morgan would never let us (4)

gravyravy: yep (1)

boobitch: that woman is very scary (3)

gobo: uhhhhhh dont ask please (6)

imfine: ....thalassa has pictures (3)

childofmagic: yep.... she sure does

childofmagic: not of me tho !!! (3)

sunshines: simon influanced me ok (3)

pinecone: i have never (1)

spaceboy: it wasnt even that long ago... (4)

littlemissperfect: father wouldnt have it (3)

pianoman: kristoph wouldnt have it (3)

childofmagic: mia !!!

boobitch: never have i ever been a hispanic dude named diego (3)

gobo: what did i do to deserve this (7)

nicknackpattywack: (4)

burgerqueen: (4)

gravyravy: (1)

sunshines: (3)

pinecone: (1)

spaceboy: (4)

childofmagic: (3)

imfine: (6)

littlemisspefect: (3)

pianoman: (3)

gobo: wont even say anything

gobo: you people have no dignity

childofmagic: well, diego, youre next !!!

gobo: fine

gobo: you people wanna play like this

gobo: never have i ever

gobo: BEEN WHITE (7)

childofmagic: OH NO

childofmagic: HE DID THE UNO REVERSE

childofmagic: well good thing im biracial muahahahahahahahhahahhaha (3)

imfine: THIS IS WHY I HATE THAT WERE ONLY HALF SIBLINGS (7)

burgerqueen: weve all been bamboozled... (5)

gravravy: this is the ultimate power move (2)

boobitch: im so proud (4)

nicknackpattywack: the pain is real (5)

sunshines: come to think of it a lot of white people here huh (4)

pinecone: yep (2)

littlemissperfect: when being european doesnt change your overwhleming whiteness (4)

pianoman: we german white people have been bamboozled as well (4)

spaceboy: .-. (5)

childofmagic: after that horrible fiasco

childofmagic: thena?

sunshines: never have i ever...

sunshines: wanted to stop this game because we all know junie will win anyway (5)

boobitch: (5)

gobo: (8)

nicknackpattywack: (6)

burgerqueen: (6)

gravyravy: (3)

spaceboy: (6)

childofmagic: (4)

imfine: (8)

littlemisspefect: (5)

pianoman: (5)

pinecone: (2)

pinecone: i guess i win then :3

sunshines: you deserve it babe <3

childofmagic: awwwww

childofmagic: how can i object to these soft gorls?

childofmagic: well that was fun!

childofmagic: hey, i think one of the troupe's shows is live on tv right now !!!

childofmagic: guys come down !!!!!!! lets watch it !!!!!!

imfine: ok ok relax !!!

pianoman: were coming !!!!!!

burgerqueen: guess i could go for a magic show rn 

nicknackpattywack: sounds good 

gravyravy: yaaaayyyyy !!!!

spaceboy: hereth we goeth 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of this chapter is a game of never have I ever... But it's fun !!!
> 
> And some more life and character to the evil bois... Their only trait isn't 'evil', ya know !
> 
> There's a new short little fluffy extra in the extras story, so go check it out if it interests you!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed !!!!


	24. datz = execution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> owo: its shi-long
> 
> owo: its not rocket science
> 
> stealyoshitgirl: ok SHLONG
> 
> owo: STOP CALLING ME SHLONG
> 
> owo: ITS SHI-LONG
> 
> owo: LIKE
> 
> owo: SHE LONG
> 
> floof: me: *sees snake*
> 
> floof: also me: damn bitch she long

Groupchat: labyrynthia exchange bois

Members: 3

Description: snitches get stitches and witches get bitches

 

*Eve Belduke (darkiplier)

*Espella Cantabella (redridinghood)

*Zacharias Barnham (notcody)

 

Saturday, 5:42 PM

 

darkiplier: everyone ready for monday?

redridinghood: im excited!

redridinghood: america has been so fun so far ! im sure the school will be just as lovely !

notcody: I HAVE A PROBLEM

darkiplier: what is it?

notcody: I FORGOT MY TOOTHBRUSH

darkiplier: ...are u serious

darkiplier: zack

notcody: eve

darkiplier: zack !

notcody: eve !

darkiplier: ZACK

notcody: EVE

redridinghood: espella !!!

darkiplier: oh you sweet summer child never change

darkiplier: ZACK

darkiplier: YOU COME TO AMERICA FOR AN EXCHANGE

darkiplier: FOR A YEAR

darkiplier: and you didnt

darkiplier: pack

darkiplier: a toothbrush

notcody: i had other things to pack!

darkiplier: like?

notcody: ...

notcody: dumbells

notcody: to get the ladies

darkiplier: zacharias barnham you get less pussy than a gay man in his entire life time

redridinghood: come on eve !!!

redridinghood: even a gay guy will get more attention from girls than him !!!

darkiplier: ESPELLA NO-

notcody: y do u two always bulli the ham

darkiplier: look just go out and buy one

darkiplier: youre in junior year you can do that on your own cant you

notcody: well yes but americans are weird and scary

redridinghood: i agree

redridinghood: id rather go for another year in london...

redridinghood: mr layton was so understanding, and that luke kid was so nice to me!!!

darkiplier: come on guys

darkiplier: this is a great opportunity for us

darkiplier: get some sleeps you nerds

notcody: no one agrues with eve belduke and expects to live

redridinghood: amen

 

Groupchat: khura'in royal family

Members: 6

Description: the next person who adds datz is getting EXECUTED

 

*Ga'ran Sigatar Khura'in (qween)

*Inga Karkhuul Khura'in (slenderman)

*Rayfa Padma Khura'in (dancingqueen)

*Nayna (bighairhoe)

*Nahyuta Sahdmadhi (elsa)

*Dhurke Sahdmadhi (daenerys)

 

Saturday, 5:51 PM

 

dancingqueen: i stll cant understand why we arent allowed to add datz into this group

qween: because he isnt a part of the royal family

qween: simple

dancingqueen: but nayna isnt either?

dancingqueen: no offence

bighairhoe: well...

qween: you see...

slenderman: nayna is like family to us

dancingqueen: but so is datz???

daenerys: dont think about it too much

daenerys: nothing garan does really makes sense

qween: thin ice dhurke

elsa: but then i thought me and dad arent royals either?

elsa: with amara gone, at least

bighairhoe: ...

qween: ...

slenderman: well, you used to be royal

slenderman: thats good enough for me

elsa: ok ok fine

elsa: but

elsa: let me try this

 

_elsa added datzausername to the groupchat_

 

slenderman: NO

datzausername: aw shit, here we go again

qween: SOMEONE DIES TONIGHT

slenderman: OH NO

 

Private Chat Between Apollo Justice (imfine) And Shadi Enigmar (shadiaf)

 

Saturday, 6 :00 PM

 

imfine: dad

imfine: dad

imfine: dad please answer

imfine: dad

imfine: dad what happened

imfine: please answer

imfine: we were watching your show and

imfine: dad

imfine: dad

imfine: please

imfine: are you there

imfine: dad

shadiaf: apollo !

imfine: dad !

imfine: what happened?

imfine: is mom ok?

imfine: was that real?

imfine: dad

shadiaf: apollo i need you to relax and listen to me

shadiaf: what did you see?

imfine: we were watching the show live, and then...

imfine: the gun trick... mom... she was...

shadiaf: are you still at the house?

imfine: yes

imfine: we asked everyone else to leave

imfine: dad please tell me its fine

imfine: trucy is worried sick

shadiaf: i need you to come down to the meraktis hospital

shadiaf: you and trucy both

shadiaf: make sure to lock up the house, ok son?

imfine: dad

imfine: dad what happened

imfine: is she ok

imfine: DAD

shadiaf: apollo i dont want to worry you

shadiaf: i need you to get here first

imfine: what happened

imfine: please just tell me

shadiaf: ill just tell you a bit, but promise to stay calm and get to the hospital, ok?

imfine: yes

imfine: i will

imfine: now tel me what happened

shadiaf: we did the gun trick

shadiaf: but something went wrong

shadiaf: thalassa got hurt

shadiaf: shes being taken care of

imfine: dad

imfine: is she going to be ok?

shadiaf: i dont know son

shadiaf: but i need you to take your sister and come here

shadiaf: right now

imfine: ok

imfine: ok were coming

imfine: but

imfine: shes going to be ok, right?

shadiaf: im sure of it

shadiaf: now get here quick

imfine: ok

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 6:11 PM

 

burgerqueen: are you guys ok?

burgerqueen: you just told us to leave all of a sudden...

childofmagic: im SO sorry it ended like this... its just...

childofmagic: mom... she...

gravyravy: its ok truce

gravyravy: its not your fault

gravyravy: go be with your family

childofmagic: ok

childofmagic: ok thanks pearly

childofmagic: im gonna go

littlemissperfect: what happened?

pianoman: we were watching one of the gramarye shows live

pianoman: and during the gun trick, thalassa, apollo's and trucy's mother got hurt

pianoman: really badly

pianoman: then the transmition cut off and they told us to leave

pianoman: it was some accident probably

littlemissperfect: oh god

littlemissperfect: is she going to be okay?

imfine: we hope so

imfine: im sorry we had to end this party so early

boobitch: oh please

boobitch: its not your fault

boobitch: now go and do your thing

boobitch: we can all talk later

imfine: thanks mia

boobitch: no prob

boobitch: now go

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 6:13 PM:

 

burgerqueen: god...

burgerqueen: i feel so bad about what happened

boobitch: yeah

boobitch: that looked serious

boobitch: do you guys think their mom will be okay?

gravyravy: im sure shell be fine

gravyravy: i mean, arent they used to that sort of thing?

gobo: i dont think anyone can get used to being shot

boobitch: maybe we should change the topic

nicknackpattywack: yeah thats a good idea

boobitch: do you guys wanna come over and stay at our place for tonight?

nicknackpattywack: sounds good

gobo: sure lets do that

burgerqueen: uh....

burgerqueen: shit, its hard to talk about anything else when something like this happened, huh?

gravyravy: yeah...

gravyravy: uh...

gravyravy: did you guys hear about the new exchange students?

nicknackpattywack: the three coming from labyrynthia?

gravyravy: yeah

gravyravy: isnt that a place in europe?

gobo: i think its a small town in england

burgerqueen: england? wasnt it borginia?

nicknackpattywack: i was sure it was in zheng fa...

gobo: ...

gobo: were really bad at avoiding a topic arent we

nicknackpattywack: yep

burgerqueen: agreed

boobitch: very bad

gravyravy: i thought we were doing pretty well...

boobitch: lets just go to the manor and awkardly eat dinner or something

gobo: thats an idea i can get behind

nicknackpattywack: lets

burgerqueen: agreed

gravyravy: sure better than awkward texting...

 

Groupchat: operation: remove the edge from edgeworth

Members: 7

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

*Ema Skye (skyence)

 

Saturday, 6:16 PM

 

stealyoshitgirl: shi-long

stealyoshitgirl: shi-long

stealyoshitgirl: shi-long

stealyoshitgirl: shi-long

stealyoshitgirl: LANG

owo: ????

stealyoshitgirl: aha

stealyoshitgirl: my experiment has given me wonderful results

debesteboy: ema is influancing you too much

skyence: what was the experiment kk?

stealyoshitgirl: shi-long doesnt respond to his name !!!

stealyoshitgirl: just his surname !!!

owo: duh

owo: when everyone calls me 'lang' i sort of get used to it

owo: now you calling me shi-long feels weird

suedeshoes: how do you even pronounce that pal?

stealyoshitgirl: obvious!

stealyoshitgirl: SHLONG

floof: r/notopbutok

owo: no

owo: its shi-long

owo: its not rocket science

stealyoshitgirl: ok SHLONG

owo: STOP CALLING ME SHLONG

owo: ITS SHI-LONG

owo: LIKE

owo: SHE LONG

floof: me: *sees snake*

floof: also me: damn bitch she long

debesteboy: she long lang

debesteboy: SHE A LONG LANG

owo: i fucking give up

owo: just call me lang

littemissperfect: ok wolverine

owo: YOU DID NOT

stealyoshitgirl: OH SHE WENT THERE

stealyoshitgirl: RUN FRANZY YOURE AS GOOD AS DEAD

 

Private Chat Between Ema Skye (skyence) And Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

 

Saturday, 6:20 PM

 

stealyoshitgirl: hey m&m

stealyoshitgirl: saw you active on the other chat and it reminded me

stealyoshitgirl: did you talk to lana?

skyence: yes

skyence: she said shell help me find things that help me

skyence: thanks kk

skyence: for pushing me to ask her

stealyoshitgirl: no problem

stealyoshitgirl: uh...

stealyoshitgirl: so you say its started when you left our middle school, right?

skyence: yeah

skyence: sometime around that

skyence: why are you asking?

stealyoshitgirl: i dunno...

stealyoshitgirl: i just...

stealyoshitgirl: really want to know what the problem is

stealyoshitgirl: so i can help you

stealyoshitgirl: as best as i can

skyence: kay?

stealyoshitgirl: hm?

skyence: can i tell you something?

stealyoshitgirl: yeah?

skyence: the reason i was... so wrecked

skyence: was because i never got the chance to tell you something

skyence: and i was convinced i never would

stealyoshitgirl: and that is?

skyence: guess ill just tell you...

skyence: im sorry if this ruins our friendship

stealyoshitgirl: nothin can

skyence: ok... well then...

skyence: kay

skyence: i like you

skyence: a lot

skyence: ive had, for a long long while

skyence: but i was always too scared to tell you

skyence: youre sweet, and kind, and the most amazing person i know

skyence: you care about me so much and i dont even deserve it

skyence: and sometimes i just wish we could just be more than friends

skyence: im sorry

skyence: kay?

skyence: kay?

skyence: kay please answer

stealyoshitgirl: sorry, i just had to take a moment to scream into my pillow

skyence: what, why?

stealyoshitgirl: because...

stealyoshitgirl: you big muffin

stealyoshitgirl: i like you too

skyence: really?

stealyoshitgirl: yep

stealyoshitgirl: and have, for a long while

stealyoshitgirl: look

stealyoshitgirl: this isnt the sort of thing to discuss over text

stealyoshitgirl: so

stealyoshitgirl: i know its late

stealyoshitgirl: but wanna get some slushies or something

skyence: wait

skyence: wait wait wait

skyence: so that means, you

stealyoshitgirl: shhh

stealyoshitgirl: silence science child

stealyoshitgirl: first, slushies

stealyoshitgirl: then, feelings

skyence: okay okay okay

skyence: ill be at your house in 10

stealyoshitgirl: see you soon

stealyoshitgirl: and uh

stealyoshitgirl: love you m&m

skyence: love you too kk

 

Private Chat Between Klavier Gavin (pianoman) And Apollo Justice (imfine)

 

Saturday, 6:31 PM

 

pianoman: hey herr forehead

pianoman: you holding up okay?

imfine: yeah

imfine: i guess

imfine: theres a lot happening

imfine: im sorry i had to kick you out like that

imfine: did you have to go back home?

pianoman: no

pianoman: youre fine

pianoman: athena let me stay at her place with everyone else

pianoman: dont worry about it

pianoman: so, how is everything?

imfine: well, trucy hasnt stopped crying for the past half hour

imfine: shadi took her to the side to try to calm her down.. he took her somewhere, idk where

imfine: magnifi is asking every single doctor questions and they wont say anything

imfine: valant hasnt said a single thing

imfine: and roger is the only one keeping his cool, ironically

imfine: he broke up a fight between dad and gramps too

imfine: and ive

imfine: just been

imfine: sitting here

imfine: stress eating

imfine: 3 bags of lays down

imfine: im not too well

pianoman: and your mom?

imfine: ...

imfine: theyre operating on her

imfine: the doctors wont tell us anything

imfine: hey klav?

pianoman: yeah?

imfine: can we change the topic?

imfine: i need to get my mind off of everything

pianoman: sure

pianoman: what do you want to talk about?

imfine: i dunoo

imfine: anything but this

pianoman: ok

pianoman: well

pianoman: you know how you told me about your dad?

imfine: jove?

pianoman: yeah

pianoman: could you tell me a little more about him?

imfine: sure

imfine: that should be fine

imfine: well, he and my mom met in the kingdom of khura'in

imfine: he was travelling playing guitar and she was travelling with the troupe

imfine: she decided to stay with him, and they lived there for a while

imfine: they got married, and then had me

imfine: and then... one night... about a week or two after i was born...

imfine: the palace was attacked

imfine: someone started a huge fire inside

pianoman: wait, i think ive heard of this

pianoman: isnt it the one where queen amara died?

imfine: *disappeared

imfine: they never found a body

imfine: well, my father was in there

imfine: and died in the fire, alongside many servants

imfine: and, mosy likely, the queen

pianoman: thats... awful...

imfine: yeah

imfine: my mother rejoined the troupe and after a while married shadi

imfine: she left everything she had in khurain behind

imfine: she left _him_ behind

pianoman: im really sorry to hear that

imfine: hey, you know that song i sang for you?

pianoman: the guitar's serenade?

imfine: yeah

imfine: they wrote it together

pianoman: youve said so

imfine: but also...

imfine: my mom added a part after the 'and now through the air i fly' part

imfine: where you... 'cut me off' so to speak

pianoman: ha ha

pianoman: i thought it was rather romantic

imfine: well, it worked

imfine: anyway, the part goes...

imfine: 'burning on in my heart, fire. burn my love away, all away. like a bullet of love, fire. take my life away, all away'.

imfine: its about how that fire took away her love, and in a way, a part of her, too

pianoman: wow

pianoman: i never would have guessed your mother has been through so much

pianoman: she looked so kind, and so strong

imfine: shes...

imfine: shes my hero

pianoman: apollo?

imfine: yeah?

pianoman: seeing what shes been through

pianoman: this

pianoman: this is going to be nothing for her

pianoman: shes gonna stand up, stronger than before

imfine: you think so?

pianoman: totally

pianoman: just stay by her side, and shell be okay in no time

imfine: thanks klav...

imfine: i love you

imfine: so much

pianoman: dont get sappy on me now

pianoman: i love you too

pianoman: stay strong, and text me when you need me, alright?

imfine: yeah... i will... thanks

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello !!! Here we are again !!!
> 
> I'm currently on a vacation in Canada, so it's hard to find time to write, but I'm trying !!!
> 
> Anyway, sorry for hurting Trucy and Apollo, lol. The angst had to happen.
> 
> Also the Labyrynthia bois are here !!! And a little nod to Layton and Luke, too !!!
> 
> OH YEAH AND EMA/KAY CONFESSION !!! BECAUSE EVERYONE APART FROM EDGY AND PHOENIX SEEM TO FIND LOVE !!!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and see you in the next one !


	25. creeper? aw man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mamametis: aura, ill have some of the kids stay in my room
> 
> mamametis: can i stay with you
> 
> glados: ?!?!?!?!??!?
> 
> simonsays: my sister has entered a state of gay panic
> 
> simonsays: all is futile
> 
> sunshines: nice one mom
> 
> mamametis: thank you my strange banana child
> 
> glados: i mean sure ha ha
> 
> glados: yes yes yes
> 
> glados: you can stay with me
> 
> glados: but i only have one bed
> 
> mamametis: i dont mind ;)
> 
> glados: hnhnhnnh

Groupchat: operation: remove the edge from edgeworth

Members: 7

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

*Ema Skye (skyence)

 

Saturday, 7:01 PM

 

stealyoshitgirl: creeper

floof: oh hell no were not doing this

debesteboy: ???

owo: kay are you playing minecraft again

stealyoshitgirl: NO

stealyoshitgirl: YOU DONT GET IT

stealyoshitgirl: IM TRYING TO IMPRESS MY DATE

floof: you got a date???

stealyoshitgirl: thats not important right now

stealyoshitgirl: creeper

suedeshoes: aw man

skyence: so we back in the mine

debesteboy: got our pickaxe swinging from side to side

littlemissperfect: is this an inside joke i dont get???

stealyoshitgirl: NO

floof: AGHHH

stealyoshitgirl: AGAIN

stealyoshitgirl: creeper

skyence: aw man

debesteboy: so we back in the mine

suedeshoes: got our pickaxe swinging from side to side

stealyoshitgirl: side side to side

skyence: this task a grueling one

suedeshoes: hope to find some diamonds tonight

floof: hope to find some diamonds tonight

stealyoshitgirl: .-.

stealyoshitgirl: are u serious

stealyoshitgirl: siri whats the iq of my friends

skyence: 5.2

suedeshoes: im sorrrryyyy

debesteboy: lets go again

stealyoshitgirl: ok ok ok

stealyoshitgirl: creeper

owo: chunks would load when i gave the word

stealyoshitgirl: NO

skyence: now everynight i stow away

debesteboy: hide from the mobs i used to slay

stealyoshitgirl: they once were terrified

suedeshoes: everytime i looked into their eyes

debesteboy: villigers would cheer my way

skyence: for a hero i was, thats what theyd say

floof: one minute we haaaaaad it allllll

owo: next our world begun to fall

stealyoshitgirl: away from all that it had once become

littlemissperfect: i still dont understand

stealyoshitgirl: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

Groupchat: space family

Members: 4

Description: just our space family no memes here move along <333

 

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Simon Blackquill (simonsays)

*Aura Blackquill (glados)

*Metis Cykes (mamametis)

 

Saturday, 7: 10 PM

 

mamametis: why is there so many strange children at our house

glados: and where tf is my tootbrush

simonsays: well i invited TWO of my friends for a sleepover

simonsays: meanwhile, athena brought in FIVE OF HERS

sunshines: IM SORRY THEY HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO STAY

simonsays: WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HOMELESS PEOPLE

sunshines: SHUT UP YOURE HOMELESS

mamametis: children

mamametis: please

mamametis: lets sort this out like adults

glados: and lets find my toothbrush ffs

mamametis: simon, where are your friends staying?

simonsays: in my room

simonsays: bobby and yuty took the bed and the spare im on the floor

mamametis: ok, athena?

sunshines: well idk

sunshines: weve been kinda hanging around the couch

sunshines: i guess i can fit four people in my room and then two can sleep on the couches

mamametis: there

mamametis: tis all sorted

mamametis: but i have a better idea

glados: ???

mamametis: aura, ill have some of the kids stay in my room

mamametis: can i stay with you

glados: ?!?!?!?!??!?

simonsays: my sister has entered a state of gay panic

simonsays: all is futile

sunshines: nice one mom

mamametis: thank you my strange banana child

glados: i mean sure ha ha

glados: yes yes yes

glados: you can stay with me

glados: but i only have one bed

mamametis: i dont mind ;)

glados: hnhnhnnh

sunshines: ahhhhh smooooooth

simonsays: if only you inherited this smoothness thena

sunshines: hey !!!

glados: well thats all well and good

glados: but

glados: where is my toothbrush ???

 

Groupchat: labyrynthia exchange bois

Members: 3

Description: snitches get stitches and witches get bitches

 

*Eve Belduke (darkiplier)

*Espella Cantabella (redridinghood)

*Zacharias Barnham (notcody)

 

Saturday, 7:21 PM

 

notcody: good news guys

notcody: i have a toothbrush

redridinghood: yay !!!

redridinghood: where did you buy it?

redridinghood: youve been gone for hours !!!

redridinghood: mr belduke got so worried !!!

darkiplier: yeah how far was that store zack

notcody: store???

notcody: buy???

darkiplier: zack please tell me you paid for the toothbrush

notcody: uhhhh

darkiplier: jesus christ zack

notcody: WAIT HEAR ME OUT

notcody: i was walking down the street right

notcody: and i couldnt find a store

notcody: so

notcody: i passed this house right

notcody: and

notcody: the window to the bathroom was ever so slightly open

notcody: so i just

notcody: ya know

notcody: yoinked it

darkiplier: zack thats stealing

notcody: but

notcody: but

notcody: im a tourist !!!

notcody: my outrageous actions can be easily excused !!!

darkiplier: not THEFT zack

darkiplier: THATS NOT A CULTURE GAP THING

notcody: but

notcody: i needed it more

darkiplier: cool motive, still theft

redridinghood: well is it at least a nice one?

notcody: its kinda weird actually

notcody: its purple and has like two spikes

notcody: americans, am i right ladies?

darkiplier: zack are u sure thats not a dildo

redridinghood: EVE !!!

darkiplier: im just trying to avoid disaster

notcody: no its a toothbrush

notcody: i know that for sure

notcody: but it belongs to someone very weird

darkiplier: jesus christ zack

darkiplier: you need help

darkiplier: serious help

notcody: :(

notcody: im gonna go ask jean if she can clean it for me !!!

darkiplier: jean is my dad's butler not your maid

notcody: :(((((((

redridinghood: ill clean it for you !!!

darkiplier: DONT ENCOURAGE HIM ESPELLA

notcody: :DDDDD

notcody: but why dont we add jean to this group ???

darkiplier: idk

darkiplier: i guess this is our exchange chat or whatever

darkiplier: but we can add her while were staying with pops in america

redridinghood: yay !!!

 

_darkiplier changed group name to 'labyrynthia bois'_

 

_darkiplier added blackbutler_

 

blackbutler: hello

blackbutler: may i do anything for you?

notcody: clean my toothbrush???

redridinghood: may i have some tea???

darkiplier: GUYS

darkiplier: no jean

darkiplier: were just here to add you to our group

darkiplier: welome to hell

darkiplier: zack stole a toothbrush

blackbutler: oh my

blackbutler: well, the most hygienic choice would be to clean it

notcody: see

notcody: jean supports my toothbrush heist

blackbutler: not necessarily

blackbutler: but master belduke instructed me to serve you while you stay here

blackbutler: so

darkiplier: zack

darkiplier: clean your own toothbrush or ill break your bones

notcody: HAHAH OK SORRY I WILL

redridinghood: um... may i still have some tea?

blackbutler: of course miss cantabella :)

redridinghood: :D

 

Private Chat Between Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl) And Sebastian Debeste (debesteboy)

 

Saturday, 7:31 PM

 

stealyoshitgirl: hey hey hey

stealyoshitgirl: best boy

stealyoshitgirl: my bestie

stealyoshitgirl: my bestie boy

stealyoshitgirl: i got a date

debesteboy: well done !!!

debesteboy: who is it?

stealyoshitgirl: ema, of course !!!

stealyoshitgirl: we got slushies at 7/11!!!

debesteboy: that is iconic

stealyoshitgirl: it was iconic

stealyoshitgirl: but anyway

stealyoshitgirl: hows life

debesteboy: ???

stealyoshitgirl: i dunno

stealyoshitgirl: i feel like i havent taken enough interest in you lately

stealyoshitgirl: since were like friends, or whatever

debesteboy: uh

debesteboy: well, im fine

stealyoshitgirl: that is universal for 'im not ok but i wont say'

stealyoshitgirl: come on now

stealyoshitgirl: whats up

debesteboy: kay?

stealyoshitgirl: yes?

debesteboy: do you sometimes think im a burden?

stealyoshitgirl: wheres this coming from?

debesteboy: its just

debesteboy: my father always tells me im useless

debesteboy: maybe hes right?

stealyoshitgirl: SEBASTIAN DEBESTE

debesteboy: yes????

stealyoshitgirl: shut up

stealyoshitgirl: youre wrong

stealyoshitgirl: so is your dad

stealyoshitgirl: YOU MATTER

stealyoshitgirl: WE ALL LOVE YOU

stealyoshitgirl: NOW PLEASE LOVE YOURSELF

debesteboy: ha ha ok ok

stealyoshitgirl: also

stealyoshitgirl: you are very useful my strange shy son

stealyoshitgirl: we all love and appreciate you

stealyoshitgirl: thank you for existing

debesteboy: ok ok i get it

debesteboy: how was your date then?

stealyoshitgirl: well

stealyoshitgirl: i told ema about my meme page

stealyoshitgirl: and i wanted to impress her with my great meme knowledge

stealyoshitgirl: so i started the creeper aw man meme on our chat

stealyoshitgirl: as you know, it didnt go very well

stealyoshitgirl: but apart from that, it was a swell date

stealyoshitgirl: we drank slushies

stealyoshitgirl: talked about why lin manuel miranda is a musical genius

stealyoshitgirl: sang some hamilton songs

stealyoshitgirl: you know, the usual

debesteboy: ha ha

debesteboy: i see youve found your true second half

stealyoshitgirl: no kidding

stealyoshitgirl: she has me saved on her phone as kk with a heart emoji

stealyoshitgirl: so id say were pretty much a thing by this point

debesteboy: cute !!!

debesteboy: im so happy for you !!!

debesteboy: and uh... thank u

stealyoshitgirl: for?

debesteboy: reminding me i matter

debesteboy: easy to forget sometimes

steayoshitgirl: no problemo bestie

debesteboy: :))))

 

Groupchat: troupe gramarye !!! (and apollo...)

Members: 7

Description: THE GREATEST MAGICAL TROUPE! ....and apollo

 

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Shadi Enigmar (shadiaf)

*Thalassa Gramarye-Enigmar (lmaoir)

*Roger Rentiz (reducereusrecycle)

*Valant Gramarye (bananaman)

*Magnifi Gramarye (thecoolgrandpa)

 

Saturday, 8:01 PM

 

shadiaf: are u sure you want to stay, magnifi?

thecoolgrandpa: i wont leave my daughters side until shes well

thecoolgrandpa: and thats that

imfine: trucy?

childofmagic: i cant go until i know shell be ok

childofmagic: ill stay with grandpa

reducereusrecycle: at least try to get some sleep in guys

thecoolgrandpa: thank you for the concern, roger

thecoolgrandpa: however, ill be fine

thecoolgrandpa: i assure you i wont need rest until she awakes

childofmagic: yeah !!!

childofmagic: ill be fine too !!!

imfine: did the doctors say anything?

thecoolgrandpa: no

thecoolgrandpa: they wont even tell me the surgeon's name !

thecoolgrandpa: its shameful...

reducereusrecycle: im so exhausted after all this

shadiaf: all of us are, id say

shadiaf: lets just get home and get some sleep

childofmagic: daddy, could you feed the fishes for me?

shadiaf: of course

shadiaf: and if you get too tired you can always come home

childofmagic: i know...

childofmagic: ill be fine

shadiaf: valant, you arent saying anything

shadiaf: you alright?

shadiaf: and where did you go???

bananaman: i needed a moment to think

shadiaf: huh

shadiaf: normally youd be the one talking the most

reducereusrecycle: dont think youve got to be reminded this isnt very normal

shadiaf: think about what, exactly, valant?

bananaman: ...

bananaman: whos fault is it?

shadiaf: ???

imfine: we already agreed not to talk about that !

imfine: well just start arguing again !

bananaman: the gun trick requires 3 people

bananaman: you, me and tessa

bananaman: tessa is the victim

bananaman: so its either you or me shadi

shadiaf: valant, wherever this is heading, now is not the time

bananaman: so, who could it have been?

bananaman: weve done that trick so many times

bananaman: everything was the same

bananaman: every time, it was perfect

bananaman: but this time

bananaman: we did it differently

shadiaf: VALANT !

bananaman: and the one who had to change what they did...

bananaman: was me

bananaman: tessa might die

bananaman: because of me

bananaman: i caused the accident

shadiaf: ....you didnt have to say it

shadiaf: you really didnt

bananaman: its my fault

bananaman: i have to own up to it

childofmagic: uncle valant!

childofmagic: it was an accident!

childofmagic: its not your fault!

childofmagic: its noones fault!

imfine: yeah !

imfine: this isnt the time to be pointing fingers

imfine: right now she needs us all to stay strong for her

imfine: shes probably fighting with all shes got to go on

imfine: we cant just give up now !

shadiaf: imagine if tessa wakes up to the troupe all torn apart

shadiaf: she will be devastated

shadiaf: it was an accident, and thats that

shadiaf: nobody is to blame

shadiaf: we picked a dangerous profession, this is the price we all pay

reducereusrecycle: come on valant, weve been through worse

reducereusrecycle: we dont kick out people over accidents

reducereusrecycle: we dont blame people for silly little mess-ups

reducereusrecycle: were a family, right?

reducereusrecycle: and family sticks together, through thick and thin

bananaman: thanks... everyone...

bananaman: magnifi?

thecoolgrandpa: ...

thecoolgrandpa: my daughter, taught me one thing

thecoolgrandpa: and that is to forgive

thecoolgrandpa: if she were here right now, i know she wouldnt be mad at you

thecoolgrandpa: so i wont be either

thecoolgrandpa: lets all just keep our heads on our shoulders for thalassa

bananaman: thank you

bananaman: everyone

bananaman: i guess ill go home and get some rest too

bananaman: and next time...

bananaman: ill focus on the trick a little more

 

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

Saturday, 8:21

 

burgerqueen: sis

burgerqueen: we might have a problem

boobitch: what is it?

burgerqueen: i looked into diego's accident, because it reminded me of something

burgerqueen: a traffic accident 4 years ago

burgerqueen: doesnt that sound similar to... something else weve gone through?

boobitch: what do you mean?

burgerqueen: elijah hawthorne

burgerqueen: pearl's dahlia's and iris' dad

burgerqueen: he died in a car accident

burgerqueen: four years ago

burgerqueen: he was drunk driving

burgerqueen: remember?

boobitch: wait, you dont mean...

burgerqueen: i looked into it

burgerqueen: the accident also had 3 people involved

burgerqueen: and only two died

burgerqueen: elijah

burgerqueen: and the driver of the other car

burgerqueen: ...oliver armando

boobitch: shit

burgerqueen: mia

burgerqueen: pearly's dad

burgerqueen: our uncle

burgerqueen: killed diego's dad

burgerqueen: and caused the accident

boobitch: ...well, what do we do now?

burgerqueen: i...

burgerqueen: i dont know

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE I AM AGAIN
> 
> LIVING OFF OF HOTEL WI-FI BUT I AM
> 
> And yes, I am very fond of leaving chapters off on cliffhangers. And no, I'm not evil. Why are you asking?
> 
> Also hi Pidgeon-Senpai. Thanks for finally reading the fic. Just reminding you all of this is your fault. He he.


	26. relationship goals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spaceboy: im so fucking lonely dude
> 
> spaceboy: i need a boyfriend
> 
> pianoman: dont we all?
> 
> childofmagic: ...
> 
> pinecone: ...
> 
> sunshines: ...
> 
> spaceboy: the lesbians have spoken
> 
> imfine: actually, they didnt say a single word
> 
> spaceboy: .-.

Groupchat: operation: remove the edge from edgeworth

Members: 7

Description: the most elite of squads

 

*Raymond Shields (floof)

*Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl)

*Sebastian DeBeste (debesteboy)

*Dick Gumshoe (suedeshoes)

*Shi-Long Lang (owo)

*Franziska Von Karma (littlemissperfect)

*Ema Skye (skyence)

 

Saturday, 8:41 PM

 

stealyoshitgirl: alright fuckers lets make it official

stealyoshitgirl: me and ema are dating now

skyence: yeh

stealyoshitgirl: we are a power couple

skyence: yeh

stealyoshitgirl: and you can POST TF UP

skyence: YEH

littlemissperfect: ...wait, you werent dating before?

owo: yeah, you acted like you were already dating....

debesteboy: this is a surprise to no one

floof: ya

stealyoshitgirl: r u serious

suedeshoes: I DIDNT KNOW

suedeshoes: IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU PAL

stealyoshitgirl: thank you, dick

stealyoshitgirl: SOMEONE here loves me

suedeshoes: :)

skyence: well anyway yeah we be datin now

skyence: we are yet to tell lana and byrne

stealyoshitgirl: yahhhh

stealyoshitgirl: im gonna text him

stealyoshitgirl: because

stealyoshitgirl: im wild like that

skyence: well i guess i go tell lana

skyence: shell be happy for me

 

Private Chat Between Kay Faraday (stealyoshitgirl) And Byrne Faraday (ihopethatyoubyrne)

 

Saturday, 8:42 PM

 

stealyoshitgirl: ey yo pops

ihopethatyoubyrne: why are you texting me were in the same apartment

stealyoshitgirl: yeh but i cant be bothered to walk over

stealyoshitgirl: anyway i have a girlfriend

ihopethatyoubyrne: epic

ihopethatyoubyrne: i knew you were a lesbian

stealyoshitgirl: whats THAT supposed to mean?

ihopethatyoubyrne: take it as you will child

 

Groupchat: best parents

Members: 7

Description: groupchat for the best of parents (the kind that are loved 3000 ONLY)

 

*Dhurke Sahdmadhi (daenerys)

*Metis Cykes (mamametis)

*Misty Fey (stabbedthroughtheheart)

*Thalassa Gramarye-Enigmar (lmaoir)

*Shadi Enigmar (shadiaf)

*Byrne Faraday (ihopethatyoubyrne)

*Drew Misham (davinci)

 

Thursday, 3:42 PM

 

ihopethatyoubyrne: MY DAUGHTER HAS A GF

ihopethatyoubyrne: SHES AUTOMATICALLY BETTER THAN ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN

mamametis: my daughter did that last night

mamametis: youre late byrne

ihopethatyoubyrne: i am revolted

davinci: yes, my daughter has had a partner since this summer

ihopethatyoubyrne: i am disgusted

shadiaf: why, my son got a boyfriend just a couple of days ago !!!

ihopethatyoubyrne: i dedicate my entire life to our lord and saviour

shadiaf: and my daughter has had a girlfriend for almost a year now !!!

ihopethatyoubyrne: jesus christ

stabbedthroughtheheart: one of my daughters has a more stable relationship than any of your children could ever manage

stabbedthroughtheheart: and has been in said relationship for 3 years now

ihopethatyoubyrne: and this is the thanks i get?

daenerys: ha ha yes

daenerys: our children are better than yours

mamametis: dhurke...

mamametis: what about your son and daughter?

daenerys: well

daenerys: ha ha

daenerys: THEYRE BUSY BEING AMAZING THEY DONT HAVE TIME FOR A RELATIONSHIP OK STOP

daenerys: MY CHILDREN ARE STILL BETTER THAN YOURS

mamametis: we broke him

davinci: hooray

 

Private Chat Between Simon Keyes (keyestomyheart) And Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 8:59 PM

 

keyestomyheart: heyyyyy

gobo: i thought we were done with this?

gobo: dont make me block you

keyestomyheart: nonononononoon dont do that

keyestomyheart: i wanna ask u a thing

keyestomyheart: do you wanna

keyestomyheart: meet up

keyestomyheart: sort things out

keyestomyheart: in person???

gobo: no?

gobo: what kind of stupid question is that?

gobo: i already said were not gonna be friends

keyestomyheart: nononononoonono

keyestomyheart: look

keyestomyheart: look look look

keyestomyheart: ill just

keyestomyheart: explain some things

keyestomyheart: ok?

keyestomyheart: i feel like what i said didnt do it justice

gobo: what else is there to say?

keyestomyheart: come meet me to find out

keyestomyheart: right now

keyestomyheart: my college is close to your highschool

keyestomyheart: you know the cafe at the corner we used to go to?

keyestomyheart: can you meet me there?

gobo: right now?

keyestomyheart: right now

gobo: god, fine

gobo: but you better have something useful to say

keyestomyheart: oh, and also... do you still have that ring?

gobo: the one you 'found in the trash'

keyestomyheart: yeah that was a lie i was being edgy

keyestomyheart: can you like

keyestomyheart: bring it too

keyestomyheart: i really really really want it back

gobo: fine

gobo: just hurry up

gobo: and you better be there

keyestomyheart: okkkkkk gobo

 

Private Chat Between Mia Fey (boobitch) And Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

 

Saturday, 9:01 PM

 

burgerqueen: do you think he knows?

boobitch: he hasnt said a word about it to me

burgerqueen: then

burgerqueen: maybe he knew

burgerqueen: but

burgerqueen: he didnt say anything, and

boobitch: if he knew

boobitch: he probably would have never associated with me

boobitch: or anyone from our family

boobitch: but he doesnt even mind morgan

boobitch: or pearl

boobitch: or even iris

boobitch: im 90% sure he doesnt know

burgerqueen: i feel like we should tell him

burgerqueen: i mean, he deserves to know, right?

boobitch: yes, but its weird, isnt it?

boobitch: wouldnt they tell him who caused the accident?

burgerqueen: i dont think they do that

burgerqueen: since people can go wild

burgerqueen: murder the person who caused it

burgerqueen: stuff like that

boobitch: right right okay

boobitch: so assuming he doesnt know

boobitch: lets just

boobitch: keep it a secret for now

burgerqueen: right

burgerqueen: okay

 

Groupchat: fey and co.

Members: 5

Description: maya was here xoxo

 

*Phoenix Wright (nicknackpattywack)

*Maya Fey (burgerqueen)

*Pearl Fey (gravyravy)

*Mia Fey (boobitch)

*Diego Armando (gobo)

 

Saturday, 9:10 PM:

 

nicknackpattywack: why did diego just leave like that?

boobitch: he said he had something important to do

boobitch: dont worry about him

burgerqueen: aight

burgerqueen: well, in other news....

burgerqueen: nickkkkkk

burgerqueen: your date tommorow

burgerqueen: right????

nicknackpattywack: for the last time, its not a date

nicknackpattywack: were just seeing a movie together

nicknackpattywack: like

nicknackpattywack: you know

nicknackpattywack: bros

gravyravy: sounds like a date

boobitch: yeah thats too gay for 'bros'

burgerqueen: way too gay

nicknackpattywack: .-.

gravyravy: what are you watching

nicknackpattywack: uh

nicknackpattywack: ...that new steel samurai movie

burgerqueen: oml

burgerqueen: NICK YOU CANT GO DRAGGING HIM TO YOUR NERDY STUFF

nicknackpattywack: BUT HE CHOOSE THE MOVIE

boobitch: omg

boobitch: hes perfect for you

boobitch: KEEP HIM

gravyravy: YES DO

nicknackpattywack: ughhhh

nicknackpattywack: i hate you guys

boobitch: youll be fine nicky boy

boobitch: keep us updated

nicknackpattywack: mia how do you manage going on a date like

nicknackpattywack: every week

nicknackpattywack: this is stressful

gravyravy: HE CALLED IT A DATE

nicknackpattywack: WAIT NO

 

Private Chat Between Dahlia Hawthorne (actualdemon) And Matt Engarde (kicknamestakeass)

 

Saturday, 10:01 PM

 

actualdemon: hey

kicknamestakeass: before you ask no

kicknamestakeass: i dont have the blackmail

kicknamestakeass: the phantom guy is really slow

kicknamestakeass: im trying to speed him up but he wont listen

actualdemon: wow ok

actualdemon: just wanted to ask how youre feeling but sure

kicknamestakeass: im tired

kicknamestakeass: bye

actualdemon: dude

actualdemon: tf is goining on with you

kicknamestakeass: im gonna have to wake up in 4 hours to check on some stupid blackmail

kicknamestakeass: i want to sleep

actualdemon: ill check on it

actualdemon: get some sleep

kicknamestakeass: WOW

kicknamestakeass: youre being nice

kicknamestakeass: thats rare

kicknamestakeass: what happened?

kicknamestakeass: no

kicknamestakeass: let me guess

kicknamestakeass: pearl fell down the stairs?

kicknamestakeass: iris broke her arm?

kicknamestakeass: morgan died in her sleep?

actualdemon: dude

actualdemon: im just being nice

actualdemon: because you seem a little rough lately

actualdemon: chill

kicknamestakeass: yeah ok

kicknamestakeass: you take care of the phantom then

actualdemon: sure

actualdemon: hey

actualdemon: talk to me if you need it

kicknamestakeass: mhm

kicknamestakeass: sure

kicknamestakeass: just get the blackmail, hawthorne

actualdemon: ha ha

actualdemon: very funny

 

Groupchat: meme necromancers cult

Members: 6

Description: in which apollo gets made fun of for his gay antics

 

*Apollo Justice (imfine)

*Athena Cykes (sunshines)

*Trucy Enigmar (childofmagic)

*Juniper Woods (pinecone)

*Clay Terran (spaceboy)

*Klavier Gavin (pianoman)

 

Saturday, 10:41 PM

 

pinecone: hey pollo?

pinecone: feelin a little better?

imfine: yeah

imfine: im fine

pinecone: and you truce?

childofmagic: doin good

childofmagic: the doctors are almost done !!!

childofmagic: theyll tell us everything soon !!!

pinecone: im glad

spaceboy: in other news

spaceboy: something is bothering me

imfine: whats up space boy

spaceboy: well

spaceboy: you know franziska and maya?

spaceboy: is it just me or they gave off major couple vibes

childofmagic: oh, dont worry about it

childofmagic: apparently it didnt work out

spaceboy: huh

spaceboy: ok then

childofmagic: in other OTHER news

childofmagic: we need more friends for the avengers !!!

sunshines: do we really?

childofmagic: ABSOLUTELY !!!

childofmagic: so i was thinking

childofmagic: ive seen franziska hanging around this group of people

childofmagic: kay, sebastian, lang, gumshoe, ray and ema

childofmagic: right?

sunshines: truce

childofmagic: LETS RECRUIT THEM !!!

sunshines: thats gonna...

sunshines: amp up the numbers...

sunshines: quite a bit...

childofmagic: well im willing to try !!!!

childofmagic: i want more friends !!!

imfine: you know what

imfine: maybe what we all need right now is a distraction

imfine: lets try to work on that, shall we?

spaceboy: im in

spaceboy: might finally get a boyfriend .-.

imfine: clay?

spaceboy: yes

imfine: are u ok

spaceboy: im so fucking lonely dude

spaceboy: i need a boyfriend

pianoman: dont we all?

childofmagic: ...

pinecone: ...

sunshines: ...

spaceboy: the lesbians have spoken

imfine: actually, they didnt say a single word

spaceboy: .-.

 

Groupchat: avengers – assemble!

Members: 12

Description: the ultimate friend group

 

_10+ members reached. names not displaying._

 

Saturday, 11:01 PM

 

childofmagic: IT HAS BEEN DECIDED

childofmagic: WERE EXPANDING THE AVENGERS INITATIVE

boobtich: FINALLY WERE BRINGING IN SCARLET WITCH

boobtich: MY WIFE

nicknackpattywack: what

boobtich: well, if were the original avengers

boobtich: then the new batch are gonna be the age of ultron ones

boobtich: right????

nicknackpattywack: fair enough

littlemissperfect: but where would we get these new friends?

childofmagic: thats where you come in, franzy !

childofmagic: youve got that group of friends you hang with, right?

littlemissperfect: well... yes...

childofmagic: there ya go !!!

childofmagic: drop in a nice word for us !!!

childofmagic: and on monday well invite them over to our table !!!

burgerqueen: will we all even fit by this point?

childofmagic: well be FINE

childofmagic: we can move up some chairs or something, that part doesnt matter

childofmagic: what does it the VIBE

childofmagic: LET THE SCHOOL WITNESS THE CHAOS

sunshines: next thing youll tell me i have to add simon and his friends in here...

childofmagic: WONDERFUL IDEA, ATHENA !

sunshines: wait no-

gravyravy: and ill add the lesbians !!!

imfine: this is getting OUT OF HAND

childofmagic: well it is what it is !!!

childofmagic: well have the biggest friend group in the school !!!

childofmagic: THEY SHALL FEAR US

pianoman: im fearing us and im a part OF THIS SHIT

spaceboy: honestly same and im kind of excited too

pianoman: because you might get a boyfriend?

spaceboy: i-

spaceboy: fuck you

boobitch: well, we might as well go all out

boobitch: go big or go home kids

nicknackpattywack: im only one year younger than you mia pls

boobitch: still, kid

burgerqueen: then, if diego is one year older than you, can he call you kid?

boobitch: no

boobitch: then he gets punched in the face

burgerqueen: .-.

nicknackpattywack: I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU MOM

boobitch: I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU EITHER SON

pinecone: well, if thats all sorted

pinecone: i guess i have to ask this question now

pinecone: how was your first week?

pinecone: i feel like we havent really talked about it much

boobitch: IM A SENIOR BITCH

boobitch: ITS BEEN GREAT

nicknackpattywack: i dont know if thats sarcasm or a cry for help

pianoman: i met you guys, so its the best one ive had so far

pianoman: but then again, ive only had two...

childofmagic: this school is great !!!

childofmagic: apart from the less great parts

childofmagic: like von douche

gravyravy: yep

sunshines: simon has been asking me for sophmore tea and threatened me with his hawk

sunshines: im scared

spaceboy: IM FUCKING LONELY

imfine: we know clay

imfine: we know

 

Private Chat Between Simon Blackquill (simonsays) And The Phantom (???)

 

Saturday, 3:01 AM

 

simonsays: hello

simonsays: id like to request your 'services'

???: mr blackquill?

simonsays: is there a problem?

simonsays: i found your number, i texted at the right time

simonsays: so....

simonsays: are you available?

???: yes of course

???: before we start, i need a basic layout of your request

???: so i can determine the price and the amount of time i need

???: what would you like to know?

simonsays: i know someone who is hiding a secret

simonsays: i want you to find out what that secret is

???: and who may this someone be?

simonsays: bobby fulbright

simonsays: i want to know bobby fulbright's secret

???: ah....

???: i see

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK IN THE CACC
> 
> With school coming up chapters may get less frequent, but I am by no means abandoning this fic!!!
> 
> Rough year coming up... Junior Cert (ew). All of you Irish bois out there can relate. 
> 
> And yes a lot of shady stuff went down in this chapter. And no, neither Diego or Bobby are okay. Because apparently I can't afford to make anyone happy. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading, and see yous in the next one !!!


	27. sorry. [discontinuing]

Hey there. It's Sam.

I haven't updated this fic in a while, so most of you probably already guessed this. But it's time to make it formal. Here I go.

I am discontinuing this, as well as the Extras book. I jumped into this story without much of a plan and lost inspiration pretty early on. But your kind comments, kudos, and everything else really made me want to continue. But I ran out of ideas, and... It's better to quit while we're ahead. But let me talk about this story.

Although a silly chat fic, this is my most popular story. This is the first time I got so famous on AO3, and for once, I finally felt like I had an impact on the fandom. So thank you for that experience.  Thank you for making me feel good about my shitty writing, thank you for motivating me, and thank you for giving me this.

I will try to revive my AO3 account this year, but I can't promise much. Please do watch over my account if you are interested. Once again I'm sorry to have to do this. 

Thank you for your support.

Thank you for your patience.

And thank you for giving me this experience.

And sorry for disappointing you. 

-Sam


End file.
